Silence is Cold
by DancingWithOceanWaves
Summary: Things are starting to get normal for DS Ben Jones, when an unexpected person shows up on his doorstep. It gets a little crazy, and Ben's safety may be put to risk MORE than usual.
1. In a Heartbeat

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders!!**

* * *

It is absolutely amazing how things can change in a heartbeat, and how quickly your world can shatter around you. This is one of those times. No. My _whole_ _life _is an example of said times. But this…This has left me breathless.

I stared wordlessly at my uncle, DS Ben Jones, without _really _looking at him. My mind was elsewhere, though my eyes focused tiredly on his unmoving body in the hospital bed. He had various little cuts and bruises all over his face, but that's not what worried me. I allowed a heavy sigh to pass my lips, and I laid my head down next to his on the pillow.

His eyebrows twitched, and a soft, low groan emitted from the base of his throat. He'd been doing little things like that for days, but not once had he woken. I sighed again, allowing some of my pain and worry to lace into it.

"It's alright, Uncle. You're going to be fine. I won't let anyone hurt you…not again."

My fingers crept along the pillow until they reached his left cheek, of which I caressed, until his whimpering stopped. _How did this all happen?_ I wondered. I'm certain Barnaby would like to know, along with Ben's friends from when he was a constable. As I grasped his hand and closed my eyes, my mind wandered to where all of this began.

**Author's Note: Well? I will not update unless I get some reviews! Tell me what you think, please! No flames! Constructive criticism and reviews welcome.**


	2. First Impressions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own Blake Jones.**

* * *

"Would Blake Jones please stand?"

My deep blue eyes scanned the room, and then the judge that had addressed me.

"Stand up, girl!" he snapped.

I knew that tone all too well. It was full of impatience, and left no room for argument. I stood so quickly that my chocolate-colored hair fell in my face.

"Would DS Benjamin Jones please stand?"

I watched quietly as my father's brother got to his feet as well, and he looked quite graceful compared to me. The sound of papers shuffling brought my eyes back to the judge, and I held my breath.

"You are aware that Benjamin Jones is the only other close living family member to you, yes?" the judge asked me.

I swallowed, and nodded.

"Are you also aware that you were given two options? You could go up for adoption, or you can go with the gentleman to your right?" he added.

I nodded again, though this time I could feel my eyes filling with tears at the thought of living in an orphanage.

"You're certain you want to live with your uncle?"

Again, I only nodded.

The judge furrowed his brows. "Can you not speak?"

Speak? I hadn't spoken in a year…or longer. I'd forgotten what my own voice sounded like! I licked my lips and looked up at the judge. "Yes…I can." It came out in a broken whisper.

When the judge furrowed his brows, the Bailiff intervened, and I guess told him what I'd said. The judge nodded, then looked back to his papers. "It's settled, then. DS Benjamin Jones may take you home in a few days." With that, he slammed his gavel on his desk and stood. "Court is adjourned."

* * *

A few weeks later, Ben showed up at the shabby little place that was my home…if it could be called such. It was basically an old motor home…from the seventies, I think. The tired had fallen off, and the base was practically part of the ground because roots and grass had anchored it there. The paint, which used to be a glossy shade of deep green, had faded into an ugly puke-colored green, and made you sick if you stared at it for too long. The glass windows had been cracked, and parts of the vehicle had fallen off and long ago rusted beside the anchored base.

I could see the disapproval in Ben's eyes. It probably looked like a horrible dumping site to him. His warm brown eyes scanned the place until I appeared in the doorway with my belongings. The first thing I noticed was the quick disappearance of disgust, which was replaced with pity, and then with kindness. Because I stopped talking, I'd gotten very good at observing. I got to the point that I could read people's eyes like a book. Ben couldn't hide anything from me.

"Do you have everything?" he asked with a smile.

I nodded as I tightened my hold on the ratty suitcase in my hand, and hung my head as though I'd done something wrong. I could fit everything I owned in just one suitcase and a backpack.

"Come here, let's get it in the car." he offered, taking a few quick steps toward me.

I wasn't used to anyone moving quickly towards me, unless they meant harm. He was moving very quickly, and if he was anything like my father, this could get bad. I closed my eyes tightly, and backed away. Was he going to hit me? His footsteps stopped. I opened my eyes and found him standing barely even a foot from me. He put his hand out, like he was reaching for me. I took another step backwards, only to have my back press against the wall.

"Are you alright? he asked as he gently took my suitcase from me.

He lifted his right hand to rub a place on his chin. I flinched. He stopped moving and studied me with soft, observant eyes. I flinched again as he started to put his hand down. His eyes lit up with sudden realization. I wondered when he would figure it out.

"I won't hurt you." he said softly, placing his right hand gently on my left shoulder.

I flinched at his soft action.

"Look at me." he said quietly.

I reluctantly brought my deep blues to his light browns. His eyes were pained, from the fact that I though he was going to hit me, or that I thought he was anything like my father, I couldn't tell. He looked me squarely in the eyes as he began to speak.

"I'm not your father. I'm never going to be anything like him, alright? I promise…I'll never hurt you."

Every word had flowed from his mouth easily, like he'd rehearsed them. There was something in his voice, in his eyes when he'd spoken, that made me want to believe him. But that was something I'd learned you can never do. You can't trust anyone. As soon as you do, they turn around and try to rip you apart so things will be to their advantage. No. I couldn't believe him.

"Let's get these things in the car, and then we can go home. Maybe we can stop and get food on the way. Would you like that?" he asked.

I studied him with a bit more seriousness. No one had ever offered to buy me anything. His words had sounded sincere, and his eyes were calm and collected, waiting for my answer. I nodded. I hadn't eaten a decent meal in quite a while.

He smiled. "Come with me, I'll help you with your things."

Hesitantly, I allowed him to take my suitcase and walk me to the back of the dark blue car. I watched as he opened the trunk and lifted my suitcase into it with ease, before he turned to face me again.

"Would you like to hold on to the backpack, or would you like it with your luggage?" he questioned.

I thought for a moment, running the pros and cons of keeping the bag with me in the seat. After a few brief moments, I took it off and handed it to him as well. Once it was situated, he closed the trunk and walked me to the left side of the car, and opened the door for me.

"In you go." Again, he'd spoken quietly, and with a smile.

Was he always happy like this, or was he putting on a show? He'd probably change as soon as we were out of the eyes of witnesses. None-the-less, I got in the car and buckled myself in.

**READ THIS PLEASE!! OVER HERE!! PLEASE READ!! Look, I posted this chapter in hopes that I would get some reviews. I want to improve my writing skills, and I can't do that if I don't get reviews with a little constructive critisicm. If I don't get reviews, I don't feel motivated to write. So, please review. Thanks.**


	3. Seemingly Small and Insignificant

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders!!**

--

"Here we are! Home sweet home."

I studied the little building before me as I got out. It was small, but very tidy, with a little porch and a freshly mowed lawn. I couldn't really tell what color the house was since it was night. We'd taken quite a while to eat, which was why the hour was so late. Ben had taken me to a nice little pub on the way here, and I'd taken my time eating.

Usually, I would try to eat as fast as I could, because at home my father would try to eat my food after he'd eaten his. The kids at school were no better, because they would steal my lunch, thinking it was the funniest thing! But when I'd started to scarf my food down at the pub, Ben told me to slow down, that I would make myself sick. I did what he'd told me, trying not to make him angry.

"It isn't much, but it's clean, and warm." Ben said. "Speaking of warm, we'd better get inside. It's a bit nippy out here."

My eyes widened as he walked out in front of me and to the door. He had my backpack slung across his left shoulder, and he was carrying my ratty suitcase. He was being awfully kind. When was he going to turn on me? He's my father's brother…he must be something like him!

"Are you coming?" he called to me from the porch.

I hurried over to him, once again trying not to do anything to make him angry with me.

Once I was at his side, he opened the door and held it open for me. "Ladies first." he smiled.

I gave him an odd look. Why was he treating me, his silent teenage niece, with such kindness? No one at home had liked me, or anyone at school. His actions were really getting quite annoying. But despite the look I gave him, he continued to smile kindly at me and hold the door open. What would he do when I got in? He'd been kind so far…

Knowing I looked silly just standing there, I slowly walked in. Ben walked in behind me and flipped the light on, then continued on past me and put my things in a room. The house was actually a bit bigger inside than it looked on the outside. When you first walked in the door, the living room was to your left. In front of you, just behind the living room, was a small kitchen, with a bar and a dining table. To the left of the living room was a bedroom, as there was one to the right, which is where Ben had gone.

I padded quietly into the living room, of which contained three black cloth couches. One of them faced the television, another was diagonally left of the first, and the last one was diagonally right of the first. Because Ben was still in that room to my right, I decided to check out the little family room. Looking down, I decided to remove my shoes before sauntering on the nice, clean, royal blue carpet. I shook my head at the fact that my socks were no better than my muddy shoes, and removed those as well.

I marveled at how good the soft carpet felt on the bottom of my rough, calloused feet. How could something so simple as carpet be so comforting? I smiled inwardly as I took a few steps across it, before the black cloth couch facing the television caught my attention. I looked over where Ben had gone, and, finding that he was still in there, eased myself down on said piece of furniture.

I wasn't surprised that the couch was absolutely _heavenly _compared to the lumpy cot I used to sleep on at home…if it could be called a home…compared to Ben's place, anyway. I sank back against the cushions and closed my eyes. This can't be real. A couch isn't _that_ soft, and carpet isn't _that_ comforting to rough-bottomed feet. I pinched myself, and it hurt. I even grunted because I'd pinched myself so hard! So, I wasn't dreaming.

"I see you've made yourself comfortable." Ben chuckled.

I leapt from the couch in fear. I'd gotten so caught up at how comfortable Ben's household items were, that I'd completely forgotten about Ben himself! He was going to hit me this time, I could it! I'd gotten comfortable way too quickly, and I was going to pay for it.

"Easy…" Ben soothed. "It's alright, you can sit back down."

I crossed my arms in defeat and hung my head as I shook it "no".

"Well…Would you like to see your room?" he offered.

My eyes must have brightened, or my face perked up all together, because he smiled and told me to follow him. He led me into the room he'd put my things in, and stood back to allow me to take in my surroundings. Like in the living room, the carpet was royal blue, soft, and comforting. The walls were painted a lighter blue than the carpet, complementing it nicely. In the upper left corner, shoved length-wise against the far wall, was an average-sized bed with two white pillows and a deep, deep blue comforter. Atop this comforter, my things were waiting to be unpacked.

In the far right wall was closet, and shoved in the corner next to it, a small desk with a few framed pictures and some books. With my head cocked and my brows furrowed in interest, I walked to the small desk and picked up one of the pictures. It looked to be a picture of Ben in a constable uniform, with one arm around a tall, slender man, and the other an average sized woman. The man was wearing a uniform very identical to Ben's, and had light green eyes, and very dark brown hair. The woman, on the other hand, had light brown hair, darker green eyes, and was wearing an aqua-colored polo with black slacks.

Ben chuckled softly behind me. "Those are my good friends, from work." he pointed to the man. "That's Mike, there. He joined the force with me." he pointed to the woman, then. "And that's Cora, Mike's wife. She's a doctor. Though," he added, pursing his lips. "This picture is a few years old. I believe it was taken before they'd married."

I nodded, letting him know that I'd been listening, and then set the picture back down. There were a few other pictures, but I could get descriptions for them later. At the moment, I was feeling a bit tired. I stifled a yawn as I turned to look at the bed, then decided to take a seat on the cozy mattress.

Ben smiled, catching my drift. "You've had a long day. I won't keep you awake any longer. My room is just across the way from your's, alright?" he stepped a bit closer, and slowly put his hand on my shoulder. I guess he was trying not to scare me, even though I still flinched. "Don't hesitate to come to me if you need anything, alright? I don't mind." he said softly.

Again, his words had flowed easily from his mouth, like he'd practiced saying them, or something. It made me suspicious as to whether he was being sincere or not. He hadn't hurt me yet, but I didn't exactly trust him. None the less, I nodded just to satisfy him with an answer.

He smiled. "Good night."

With that, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

--

I couldn't sleep. I was wearing clean clothing, and I was in the most comfortable bed I'd ever laid on in my life, yet I couldn't sleep. It wasn't that my pajamas were uncomfortable, or anything. I'd always thought sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt were comfortable. I didn't have a problem with the sheets, either. They were clean, warm, and soft. No problems there.

I glanced over at the electric clock on the nightstand. It read 11:25 pm in bold, red numbers. A sigh escaped my lips. Maybe I was just excited. But what was there to be excited about? I was living in a house with a man I'd never met before. I didn't know if he was putting on a show to make me trust him, I didn't know if he was going to barge in and strike me with his fist, I didn't know what he was going to do! Excited? I don't think so. Nervous didn't quite fit it, either. Panicky? Jumpy? Those seemed to suit me a bit better. Now that I think about it, when _was_ the last time I'd had a good night's sleep? It didn't really matter. Staring at the ceiling can only do so much for you. I decided to check out the house a bit more. I'm sure Ben wouldn't mind…Or would he? Perhaps if I was really quiet, and didn't wake him, I could see enough of the house to suit my curiosity, and then get back in bed before he even knew I'd been up.

With my mind made up, I tossed the covers off of me and padded quietly to the door. I turned the knob slowly, and quietly pulled the door toward me. I was surprised to find that there was a light on in the kitchen, and Ben was sitting at the little bar.

"Yes. I got her all situated today." he said through the receiver of his mobile. He paused to listen for a moment "She's very, very quiet, and observant." he paused again. "I don't know about that. She's very jumpy. Just the smallest sudden move makes her flinch. It's horrible!"

I furrowed my brows at this.

"I can't imagine what she's been through. She always seems so nervous, like someone is going to lunge at her at any moment." he paused again. "No, I think we should wait for a while. I want her to at least get used to me, before I get her around other people." he sighed. "Alright. I'll ask her." Another pause. "Oh, you should have seen how jumpy she was when I got her. She's calmed down since then, but…" he stopped again. "Mhm. Alright. Goodnight. Yeah, tell them for me."

After he hung up, he continued to sit at the bar. I decided to take this time to really study and observe my cousin. He was wearing a white t-shirt, most likely an undershirt, with a pair of black gym shorts. His hair looked to be a chocolate shade like mine, or perhaps a bit darker. His strong, broad shoulders drooped a bit as he leaned against the bar, showing that I wasn't the only one who'd had a long day. I noticed that even when he was relaxed, with no one around, Ben's eyes were naturally soft, and warm. His skin appeared to be quite fair, and smooth, and covered a light muscular build. Furrowing my brows in thought, I decided that he was somewhere in his early thirties. He actually looked quite attractive, compared to his brother.

A slight smile threatened to tug at the corners of my lips. Maybe he wasn't as threatening as I thought. But then I saw it. Small and insignificant looking, but indeed very, very dangerous. It sent a shockwave of fear through my entire body, and caused me to gasp very loudly. This caught Ben's attention, of course, and he set the beer bottle down to come investigate. I reeled backwards into my room as quickly as I could, and stumbled in the process. I crashed near the end of my bed, but I didn't stop. I crawled until my back was pressed hard against the wall, then curled into a ball and shook with terror as he neared me.

"What's wrong?" he asked with an emotion I was unfamiliar with.

I whimpered, squirmed, and flinched as he knelt down in front of me. I was cornered. He reached out to me quickly, which caused me to instinctively fling my arms up to protect my face. I could feel the tears streaming slowly down my cheeks. He was about to beat me. But what he did caught me very much off guard. I felt his large, strong hand moving slowly up and down my upper left arm, and then across my shoulder.

"You don't have to be afraid." he said quietly.

I could smell the foul drink on his breath. My tears were coming harder and faster. Why wouldn't he just get on with it?

"Look at me." he said softly. "Please?"

The slight beg in his voice caught my interest, but I didn't look at him. I didn't want to have my eyes open while he did whatever he was going to do.

"Hey…shh, shh, shh. Please look at me, Blake." he pleaded softly.

His hands wrapped gently around my wrists, and even though he wasn't being rough in any way, I knew I was up against someone much, much stronger than me, and allowed him to pull my hands from my face. He looked me directly in the eyes, and his automatically filled with pity, pain, and sadness.

Those strong hands never left my wrists as he spoke. "What are you afraid of?" he asked softly. "What can I do?"

I couldn't breathe. The sudden crying had stolen my breath from me. I felt completely and utterly helpless as I sat there, my hands now clutching his as I stared somberly into his comforting eyes. I wanted to be held so badly. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd been held to someone. I looked down at our hands and took mine from his, then looked him right in the eyes as I put them on his shoulders. In the next instant, he pulled me against him, enveloping me in his strong embrace. I pressed my face to his shoulder as my soft cries turned to sobs.

**HELLO!! Thank you everyone that reviewed! I really appreciate it! I apologize for the delay in updating. School has been stressing me out, and it isn't getting any better. Quick question! Did Ben appear to be in character, or was he abnormally nice? Please let me know! Also, I'm not sure when the next update will be. This week is looking a bit busy. But who knows? I may surprise you. Please review! Thanks! Remember, when I get reviews, I feel very motivated to write!**


	4. Emeralds

**Thanks to anyone that reviewed! I really, really appreciate it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters that I made up.**

* * *

I opened my eyes very slowly, and found myself laying in my new bed. I also found that someone was talking and rubbing my back. It took me a few moments to realize it was Ben's voice, and a few more moments to figure out that he was telling me softly to wake up. I shot to a sitting position and to the farthest corner of the bed. Had I said or done something in my sleep, and was about to be punished? That's silly, because I can't help that!

Ben didn't say anything about my sudden movement. He just smiled, and continued to sit on the edge of my bed. "Good morning."

I remained silent, as always.

"I just wanted to tell you that breakfast is ready, and you need to get dressed. I need to go to work in about an hour, and I need to ask you something."

I nodded for him to continue.

"Remember Mike and Cora, the people in the picture I showed you? I was hoping it would be alright if I dropped you off at their place?"

I leaned back against the wall and drew my knees close to my chest. Was he already trying to get rid of me?

"They're very kind people, Blake. They have a son and daughter that are your age, another son that's about five, and then Cora is…" he pursed his lips for a moment. "Mmm, around seven months pregnant. Mike is going to work with me, so it'll just be you, Cora, and the kids."

I thought for a moment. Two teenagers, a small child, and a pregnant woman. I can deal with other teenagers, if they aren't too bad. Little children don't bother me…my heart actually goes out to them. The pregnant woman that Ben keeps telling me about doesn't seem too bad. I don't think I would have much trouble outrunning her if I needed to get away. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. I looked up at Ben quizzically, however, and tried to give him a worried expression.

"You know I'm a detective, right?" he asked.

I nodded.

"I work with murder cases all the time, and I don't want you around that. It was actually Mike that made the suggestion. So, do you mind staying with Cora and the kids for the day?" he said gently.

Yes, of course I would mind staying at a complete stranger's house! Who_ wouldn't_ mind? But, so far, everything Ben had told me was true…

I slowly crawled off of the bed and to my new closet, and began digging around for something appropriate to wear. I thought I could hear Ben chuckling, but when I turned around, he was closing the door behind him. With a shrug, I turned back to the task at hand. I opted on the best pair of blue jeans I had, (which were faded a light shade of blue, might I add), a plain light green t-shirt and black jacket, and my only pair of shoes(which used to be black, but had also faded, and were now nearly grey).

After applying said clothing, I brushed out my hair and parted it on the left, as usual. After a few last minute investigations of myself in the mirror, I left the room and joined Ben at the dinner table. My breakfast was waiting for me when I sat down, and Ben had already begun to eat his. It wasn't anything special, really. Just a plate of scrambled eggs, some toast, and microwave-heated bacon. An empty glass waited next to my placemat, ready to be filled with milk or orange juice, which sat in the center of the table. I lazily reached for the orange juice and filled my glass, then began to eat without really tasting my food before swallowing.

"Blake."

My food caught in my throat as I looked up, and I had to work extra hard to make it go down…without choking.

Ben smiled at me. "Slow down, Blake. No one is going to steal your food." he joked. "It's just you and me here."

I looked back down at my plate, almost laughing at the irony. A simple joke, meant to make me smile, only drudged up bad memories. I shivered at the sudden flashback in my mind, and shook my head as though it would make them go away.

"Are you alright? You look a bit pale."

I ignored Ben. He wouldn't understand, even if I _did _speak to him about it. I wasn't going to do that. I'd given up on voicing what I'd though was right or wrong. I'd given up on letting my voice be heard. I'm just a lone fox. Silent, constantly searching for scraps, and always observing from a distance, never daring to make a move until I'm certain it's safe.

My thoughts were interrupted by Ben's mobile going off. He pulled said object from his pocket, and apologized to me before answering it.

"Good morning, sir!" he said cheerfully. "Yes, sir." he paused. "Right away, sir." he listened for a few moments more, before hanging up. "I'm afraid we'll have to leave earlier than I thought. I have a new case."

* * *

"Relax, sweetheart. I promise, these are some of the kindest people you'll find in England."

Our eyes met, and I almost smiled. He seemed to have that effect on me today. Maybe it was because he was acting so cheerful, or because he hadn't hit me…yet. Despite his cheery smile, and his use of a pet name for me, I didn't return his smile. I was still curious…or worried, rather, as to why he was wanting to leave me with these strangers.

I turned my gaze back to the front door, of which we waited for the squeaking of the hinges to alert us that someone was opening it. It took a few minutes, but the door finally opened, revealing the woman I'd seen in the picture. She looked to be in her early thirties, and was very, very pregnant.

"Good morning, Ben!" she beamed.

"Cora." he smiled, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Cora, this is Blake. Blake, this is Cora."

Cora turned her warm gaze to my face, and I couldn't help but look down at my shoes. I wasn't used to being the center of attention!

"Nice to meet you, Blake." she said softly.

In the line of view of my faded shoes, a small, soft hand appeared. I looked up to find Cora still looking at me, and smiling kindly as she waited patiently for me to shake her hand. I reached for it timidly, and when our hands met, she didn't shake, but rather gave me a light squeeze. I looked back down as soon as she released my hand.

"Well, com in! It's a bit nippy this morning."

I hadn't realized it was a two story house until we'd been led inside. It also appeared to be a few decades old, but was fixed up very nicely. The floors were made of a beautiful light brown wood, and the walls were wooden, but painted white. Like Ben's house, the kitchen and the living room were basically in the same room. Two leather couches were pushed near the corner to the right, with the television actually in the corner. Ahead of us, beyond the kitchen/living room, were stairs, which I guessed lead to the bedrooms on the second floor.

"Could you help me sit on the couch, Ben?"

"Certainly."

The two cheery voices broke me from my thoughts, and I turned around just in time to see Ben easing Cora down on the couch by her hands. When I turned back around, I was surprised to see a little boy running noisily down the stairs.

"UNCLE BEN!" he squealed, opening his little arms to be picked up.

I whirled back around, wanting to see Ben's reaction.

Ben laughed as he lifted the boy effortlessly up and into his arms. "Hello, Daniel!" he choked out as the lad wrapped his arms tightly around his neck.

"Don't gag him, Daniel!" Cora chuckled.

"I had a really good dream last night!" Daniel bragged, easing his grip on Ben's neck.

"You did?!" he replied enthusiastically, putting on an exaggerated grin. "What was it about?"

Daniel grinned sheepishly. "I dreamed I was a constable, like you and daddy!"

"That's the last thing we need! Another officer by the name Williamson!" Came a hearty voice from behind me.

I spun around with a jump, and nearly froze when I was completely turned around. There stood Mike, look just like he had in the picture. He had to have been a few inches over six feet, and was very slim, with a slight muscular build, and also appeared to be in his early thirties, just like his wife and Ben.

His soft, green eyes swept over me briefly, before he held his hand out. "You must be Blake? I'm Constable Mike Williamson. Pleasure to meet you." his voice was deep, and seemed to have a kind, and calming not about it. He smiled, and waited patiently.

I reached out to take his hand, and just like his wife, he only gave mine a light squeeze.

"Darling, where are the kids?" Cora called from the couch.

Mike joined his wife on the couch, and greeted her with a kiss. "Jerry was getting dressed when I popped in the doorway, so he should be down here shortly. April was reading a book, and said she would come down when she finished the chapter." he chuckled.

I stood away from the small group, and observed the way Ben interacted with the lad and his friends. I'd never seen him act so cheerfully, and his level of gentleness and kindness toward the little boy really took away a small amount of my fear of him.

He looked up at me and smiled, and then looked at his watch. "I'm afraid we need to go, Mike. Tom called me nearly fifteen minutes ago."

With a nod Mike got to his feet, then turned right back around and leaned down close to Cora's face, and smiled charmingly. "I'll be back," (Kiss) "Before," (Kiss) "Dinner." (Kiss) He then leaned down even further, and placed a lingering kiss on her swollen belly. He then leaned up and whispered something in her ear, which made her smile, and then giggle, before he stood to his full height and gently took his son from Ben's arms.

Ben, on the other hand, walked to me with a gentle smile caressing his lips. I took a small step back, still not used to someone approaching me at a quick pace. I felt a finger gently tilt my chin up, and I opened my eyes to find Ben there.

"I'll be back before seven, alright?" he said as he removed his hand from my chin.

I nodded.

He leaned down closer, leaving about half a foot of space between our faces. "You don't have to worry. You're in very good and capable hands here. Help Cora whenever she needs help, alright? She's not supposed to strain herself. Do that for me, please?"

Again, I only nodded.

He smiled a bit wider this time, and stood to his full height as he squeezed my shoulder. "I'll be back later."

I soon found myself alone with two people, who I hadn't the slightest idea of their personalities, or how they would treat me after Ben was away.

"Would you like to come sit?" Cora asked.

I stood away from the couch, contemplating my options.

Cora chuckled. "It's alright, we don't bite. Come and sit with us, please."

Just like when she'd greeted me at the door, she only smiled, and waited patiently for me to make a move. She didn't seem so bad…and how harmful could a five year old be? I walked at a normal pace to the couch, and sat down on the opposite end from Cora and Daniel.

Daniel stared at me with his curious, light green eyes, and approached me slowly. Shyly, he held his little hand out to me. "I'm Daniel."

For the first time in I don't know how long, a genuine smile tugged at the corners of my lips, and I grasped Daniel's small hand in my own. Daniel's shy expression turned into a large grin as soon as our hands touched, and he ran quickly to his mother in excitement.

My head turned quickly, however, when I heard someone else coming down the stairs.

"Good morning, Mum." Came the voice of a boy my age.

I froze. The lad was a spitting image of Mike, with the exception of black hair instead of brown. His eyes gleamed like emeralds, and seemed to have an intelligent look about them. His red t-shirt and slim jeans made him appear to be a bit lanky, but showed that he had a bit more muscle than the average lanky person would.

He was the most gorgeous creature I'd ever laid eyes on.

He looked to me in surprise, and froze as well. Our eyes met, and something seemed to…click. For a few moments, it actually felt like we couldn't stop looking at each other.

"Jerry?" Called Cora.

Jerry didn't move.

"Jerry, are you alright?" she said louder.

His gaze broke off from mine, and he shook his head, before turning his attention to Cora. "Uhm…I'm fine, Mum." he mumbled, walking to me. "I'm Jerry." he smiled, holding out his hand.

I was quicker this time to smile back, and was a bit less timid to shake his hand. His palm was a bit rough, but felt warm, and right within my hand. I didn't want to let go. Our hands actually lingered, until a small cough from Daniel brought us back to reality. Jerry took a seat on the other couch, and reluctantly took his eyes off of me by picking up a magazine.

Around that time, another set of footsteps drew my gaze back to the stairs. It was the girl Mike had mentioned earlier, and she, too, looked just like Mike. Her eyes were like crystals, with a light green tint to them, and her hair was the same shade of brown as Mike's. She looked very slim in her light blue blouse and jeans, but her frame was much smaller and shorter than mine.

She didn't hesitate on walking to me, and I couldn't help but flinch, even only slightly. I still wasn't used to all of the quick movements. She didn't seem to notice, however, and held her hand out. "I'm April. You must be Blake?"

I nodded, and shook her hand quickly. I was getting a little bored with all of the introductions. I'm not that social, obviously. I was actually a little happy when April accepted my silent greeting, and sat on the opposite end of the couch that Jerry was sitting at. I was uncertain, but I thought I'd caught Jerry glancing at me over the top of his magazine.

A nudge brought my attention to Cora, and she handed me a note and pen. _Can you write?_ It read.

_Obviously. _I wrote.

She chuckled. _I've noticed that you flinch quite a lot._

I heaved a sigh. _I don't like sudden movement. It makes me nervous._

She furrowed her brows. _Why?_

I felt the left corner of my mouth twitch. _I'd rather not talk about it. Or, write about it, rather. What about you? No offence, but you seem a bit young to be Jerry or April's mum._

She smiled at this. _They're Mike's children. He married when he was a teenager. His wife was killed in a car crash, leaving him with the two. A few years later, when he joined the police, we met. I began helping him take care of them, and that's how we fell for each other._

I smiled, and glanced up at Jerry. Jerry gazed at me for a moment over the top of his magazine, before quickly looking back down. A sigh managed to escape my lips. This was going to be a long day. I, too, averted my gaze, and prepared to write another note.

**HELL0!! Sincere apologies for taking so long to update! School activites have kept me very busy, and I'm writing more than one story. I'm sorry if this chapter was a bit boring, but it was needed, so things would make sense later on in the story. So, that's all I have to say. Please review! I really appreciate it, it motivates me! Thank you!**


	5. Stars

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own Mike, Cora, Jerry, April, Daniel, and of course, Blake.**

* * *

_Ben's POV_

Just as I had promised, I slowed the car to a stop in front of Mike's place, right before seven o'clock. It had been a long day, and I'm certain it showed in my posture. I slouched in the driver's seat, trying to catch my breath for the first time in the day.

Mike chuckled. "Tired, are we?"

I lazily turned my head against the headrest, and smiled. "You can't tell me that this case didn't make you tired!"

His playful expression was replaced with one of tiredness, and agreement. "It has been a long day," he paused, unbuckling his seatbelt. "But there's nothing like coming home to a loving family after a long day of work."

I sighed, and dragged my gaze to the house. "Yep. Nothing like it."

Mike, who was about to open the door, stopped. "What's all this? You're acting like you dread seeing her."

Another sigh escaped me. "It's not that I don't like to see her. I love being with her, it's just…It's complicated. Come on, now. They're waiting for us."

"Alright." he mumbled. "Just smile when you get in there. You know how Cora is when she thinks something is wrong with one of us."

The right corner of my mouth twitched, threatening to pull up a smile. "Just get out of the car." I said as I unbuckled myself and opened the door.

"I'm serious!" Mike continued as we walked to the front door. "She's seven months pregnant, Ben. You wouldn't believe how moody she can be sometimes!"

"I think I could." I chuckled. "I've known her just as long as you have."

He gave me his signature smirk. "I've spent much more time with her, I've had a child with her, and we've got another on the way. I believe I know her much better than you."

I shook my head, a grin forming on my lips. "You've got me there, mate."

"I'd better." he growled playfully as he unlocked the door. "Darling?" he called.

"In the kitchen, dear." Cora called back.

"Shut the door, please." he said over his shoulder.

Another grin threatened to pull at the corners of my lips. If I was certain about one thing, it was that nothing could hold Mike back from going as quickly as he could to his wife, especially after a long day. I followed behind him at a leisurely pace, knowing what to expect next.

"Hello, darling." he cooed in Cora's ear as soon as he reached her in her seat at the dinning table. He then tilted her chin up before she had a chance to speak, and gently captured her lips for a few moments. When he finally pulled away, he planted a few more kisses on her neck, before moving behind her to rub her shoulders. "How was your day? Did the baby treat you well?"

She smiled. "Today was alright. There's been a lot of movement going on in there." she said, absentmindedly stroking her belly.

"What about Blake? How did she do today?" he asked curiously.

She heaved a small sigh. "She flinched quite a lot, at first." she said quietly as she looked over at me. "She really doesn't like sudden movement. Any little quick gesture, even. April or Jerry would move to pick up a magazine, or reach for the television remote, and she'd flinch as though someone was going to strike her!"

I shook my head. "I know. The day I went to pick her up, she all but ran from me!"

Cora shook her head as well. "Do you know what your brother could have possibly done to make her this way?"

I closed my eyes for a brief moment. "I think you should be asking what he didn't do to her." I growled. "The abuse report was quite long, and very unpleasant." I paused for a moment to study their faces, and offered a small smile. "Sorry."

"Not at all." Mike cut in quietly. "When I look at my own children, I find that I could never get angry enough at any of them to want to just maliciously hurt them. I can't even stand raising my voice to them!" he shook his head. "Someone must be truly wicked to do something like that to their own flesh and blood."

I furrowed my brows. "Cora, you said she flinched a lot, _at first_. Did she get better as the day progressed?"

She chuckled. "She and Jerry certainly took an interest in each other. I did notice, though, that as soon as you two left, and it was just me, her, and Daniel, she acted alright. When Jerry came down, she was a bit timid, but not nearly as scared as she was when two grown men were in the room."

I pursed my lips in thought. "That makes sense. It was a grown man that had abused her, more than one man. But it makes perfect sense that she would be afraid of us, and less afraid of a teenage boy. Did you find out anything else about her?"

Again, she smiled. "I found a way to communicate with her."

My eyes lit up at this. "How?"

"Notes. You write a question down on a piece of paper, hand it to her, and she'll write something back."

"What did she tell you?" I asked eagerly.

"She's seventeen, and was born in Liverpool. She's allergic to cats and birds, and her favorite color is green. Oh, and," she added with a smile. "She likes children, which is why Daniel has taken quite a liking to her. She played with him for most of the morning!"

I couldn't help but smile at that. Who would've guessed that an abused teenager would be so child-friendly? "Did she say anything else?" I asked.

She furrowed her brows. "Like what?"

I decided to take a seat at the table. "About last night?"

She shook her head. "No. Nothing of the sort. Why?"

My shoulders slouched. "She lost her nerve! I don't know _what _could have caused it. I had just finished talking to Mike on my mobile, and was drinking a beer when I heard a sound, like a gasp. Naturally, I got up to investigate, because I'd thought she was asleep. She was curled up in fetal-position at the end of her bed when I found her, and when I got near, she started to sob." I finished in a helpless tone.

"Maybe she'd had a nightmare, or dreamed of something in her past?" Mike offered.

I pursed my lips, and shook my head. "No, I don't think that was the case. She'd been watching me when she started to fall to pieces."

"So, what did you do?" Cora asked.

"I asked her what was wrong, if there was anything I could do. She didn't answer me, of course, but put her hands on my shoulders. I took that as a cue that she wanted to be held, so I held her. This seemed to make the crying worse, but she didn't try to push me away." I said quietly.

"How long did this go on?" Mike asked.

I drew in a large breath. "I don't really know. I held her until she fell asleep." I dragged my gaze slowly to the two. "I've never felt more helpless. It was like I couldn't do anything to calm her down. Nothing I said or did worked." I leaned forward with my elbows on the table, and held my head in my hands. "I feel useless." I mumbled.

I heard a chuckle, and then felt a small hand begin to rub my arm. "You're not useless, you'll get there. The Ben Jones I know is quite persistent." Cora soothed.

I peered at her through my fingers. "I you could have seen the look in her eyes!" I whispered. "I've had to arrest a few teenagers before, but none of them can compare to the fear, hopelessness, and somberness that I saw in those eyes last night. They can't come close to what I saw." I furrowed my brows, and looked up at Cora. "Where is Blake, anyway?"

She smiled. "Outside, with Jerry."

* * *

_Blake's POV_

"See? If you draw an imaginary line from there, to there, you have _Orion_!"

I smiled gleefully. I hadn't had this much fun in quite a while, even if we were just finding formations in the stars. It was beautiful out, and the company was nothing to stick your nose up at. Jerry had been very kind to me all day, and turned out to be quite a charming fellow.

"And if you look there," he started, putting his hands on my shoulders to turn me, "You'll find a planet. See?"

I nodded, and smiled again as he walked out in front of me. His gleaming, emerald eyes made the stars look very dull, and his charming smile seemed to out-glow the moon. He looked gorgeous standing next to me in the faint porch-light, and I began to wonder why someone like him would actually want to spend time with someone like me.

"Is something the matter?" he asked with concern. "You look like something's bothering you."

I realized my eyes had glassed over a little with tears. He was too good for me. Regardless of my thoughts, however, I put on as realistic a smile as I could, and shook my head. I didn't want to ruin what little time I had left with him before I had to go back home with Ben.

"Amazing, aren't they?"

I turned with a jump upon hearing Ben's voice. How long had he been standing there on the porch, watching us?

"Hello, Uncle Ben! I'm sorry, I didn't see you standing there." he smiled, before turning his gaze to me. "How long has he been there?" he whispered.

I shrugged my shoulder slightly, trying not to make it too noticeable, but Ben already knew what was going on. Well, at least it looked like he knew, by the looks of his eyes.

"No problem, Jerry. I was looking at the formation you were pointing out." he smiled.

Ah. So that's how long. Long enough for him to see me sending soft looks and smiles to a boy I barely knew. A boy that was amazingly hansom. A boy that would never be mine, because he deserves someone so much better than me.

A shaky sigh escaped my lips, which earned me a concerned look from Jerry. This look took my breath away. Don't waste your pity on me, Jerry.

"Are you certain you're alright?" he whispered, so that only I could hear him.

"Jerry, may I speak to Blake for a moment?" Ben asked, interrupting our thoughts.

Jerry continued to gaze into my eyes, leaving the decision to me. I smiled a small smile for him, and nodded that he go on. Nodding at my wishes, he returned my smile, and light squeezed my hand before reluctantly leaving me alone with Ben. I could feel Ben's gaze on me when we were finally alone. I couldn't really put it off any longer. With an inaudible sigh I turned, and met his gaze.

"Come sit with me." he offered, sitting down on the loveseat.

My footsteps were timid, and awkward as I walked slowly up to the porch, and finally to the loveseat. I sat silently next to him, and waited for him to say what he wished. To my surprise, he handed me a notepad and a pencil.

_'I heard you had good day.'_ It read.

_'Yep.'_ I wrote.

He chuckled. _'Anything particular that was good?'_

I thought for a moment. '_Played with Daniel, helped Cora fix lunch, took a walk with April, and stared at the stars with Jerry.'_

He nodded, but seemed to grow a little serious as he began to write. '_That's good. It sounds like you got along well. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?'_

I smirked. '_You already are.'_

This seemed to cause a small smile to tug at his lips. '_Alright, then. I just want to know what upset you last night.'_

I sighed. I should've known this was coming. '_It was the beer bottle. Anytime your brother had one, or his mates, it meant I was going to receive a beating very soon. I was terrified of you.'_

His hand began to shake slightly as he read my sloppy handwriting, and he slowly got to his feet. I sank back against the loveseat as he paced, and ran his hand through his hair. Was he angry with me? Was he going to hurt me, right here on the porch? I shuddered, then flinched as he knelt down in front of me. His hands stopped atop mine, which were resting in my lap.

"Blake," he said, his voice pained. "I would never hurt you, never! I'm a police officer, I want to help people…I want to help you!" he whispered.

He sounded so serious! But the words had tumbled from his mouth so easily. I wanted so badly to trust him. It hurt, I wanted it so much. But I just couldn't! The last person I'd trusted had abused me in more ways than one. I couldn't go through that again. I don't think I'd be able to survive it. But those eyes! His warm, brown eyes hid nothing from me. I stared into them for a while, and found nothing but sincere honesty.

I slowly pulled my hands out from under his, and timidly cradled his jaw in my small palms. Taking a large breath, I prepared to speak. "I…w-want…s-so badly…to b-believe…you…" I stuttered in a whisper. "B-but…I j-just…I c-can't…" I could feel warm tears flowing down my cheeks when I finished.

He seemed shocked, at first, when I'd spoken. But my words sank in, and he set it aside as though I'd spoken since I met him. "There's nothing to be afraid of!" he strained in a whisper.

"You…d-don't under-s-s-stand!" I choked through my tears. "Y-you don't kn-know what…th-they d-did to…m-me!"

"Yes, I do." he said grimly. "There's an entire police report on what they did to you, Blake. I will _never _do any of those things to you. I won't let anyone harm you. You're my child now, under my protection. There's nothing to be afraid of _anymore_."

I stared at him quietly, tears streaming down my face, emotions stirring inside of me that hadn't been stirred in a long time.

"You can believe me, Blake. I know that's difficult for you, but you can. Not all men are wicked, and cruel. There are people that care." he said softly. "Give me a chance."

I felt like I was being torn apart. Half of me believed him, believed the honesty shining brighter than the porch lights in his eyes. The other half remained uneasy, and kept my body still, and ridged. "Okay." I whispered. The critical side had faltered…for that moment in time, anyway. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hoping for the best.

**HELL0!! Well, I guess this chapter pretty much speaks for itself. Speaking of speaking, she spoke! Lol! Anyway, please tell me if Ben was out of character. I would appreciate it. Please review! It motivates me when you do! Thanks!**


	6. Nightmares And Then Some

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own Mike, Cora, Daniel, April, Jerry, and of coarse, Blake.

**WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS BRUTAL AND SUGGESTIVE CONTENT!!**

* * *

'_They were drinking…again. I watched in fear and disgust as they yelled and staggered, while they tried to drink without dropping their beer bottles. Any minute, one of them was going to come after me. I flinched at the sound of glass shattering, and tried to crawl from the dark corner to my bedroom._

"_Where are you going, ducky?!" One of them slurred._

_I was almost there. The door was just a few feet from me, I just had to crawl a little more…_

"_Stay, here, pretty!" Another shouted._

_A shriek escaped my lips when one of them grabbed me by the ankle, and dragged me back into the living room. Some of the shattered glass on the floor cut my belly and elbows, and I tried with a shout to get my ankle from the man's hand._

"_sit and relax for a while, pretty!" The man slurred, dumping some of his beer down my throat._

_I spit the foul liquid onto the carpet, not even realizing someone was sitting near where I'd spewed it. My father stood up angrily, and brought his large fist down on my cheek._

"_You little wench! That's perfectly good alcohol you just wasted!" he screamed._

"_Don't worry about it!" the man beside me shouted. "I was getting full anyway!" he threw his bottle aside, and quickly put his hand very high on my thigh. "Why don't you come with me? I can show you a good time!"_

_Before I could jump up and run away, he wrapped his arms around my waist and slung me over his shoulder._

"_Put me down, bastard!" I screamed._

_I pounded his back with my fists as hard as I could, and kicked my legs, but he wouldn't let me go._

"_Help!" I screamed. My eyes began to sting with tears. "Help!"_

_The four other drunken men in the room only laughed. "Don't kill her!" One of them yelled._

_The man carrying me only chuckled, and slammed the door shut when he reached my bedroom._

"_Don't!" I cried._

"_But you'll like it!" he laughed._

_I was flung roughly onto my bed, and instantly the man started to tear away at my clothing._

"_Stop it!" I cried desperately when I could feel the cold, night air all over my body._

_I tried to make for the window. I didn't care if I was naked or not; the night would hide me. Rough hands grabbed me around the waist, and pulled me back against a bare torso. A mixture of a scream and a sob escaped my throat as I was tossed back onto the mattress, and I threw wild punches in different directions._

"_Lay still, wench, and this won't hurt _too_ bad!" he growled._

* * *

I shot to a sitting position with a strangled yelp, and looked frantically around the room. Everything was quiet, and still. No hollering, no sounds of glass bottles breaking, and no man trying to do a scandalous task. Everything was calm, and silent.

Looking to the clock, I found that it was four in the morning. I sighed and got to my feet, deciding there was no sleeping after that dream/memory. I was on the way to the door, when I found that most of my shirt and sweat pants were soaked through with cold sweat. I turned right back around and grabbed my suitcase, (yes, I know it should be unpacked…after a week of living here) and dug through it. My shoulders slouched. The only clean clothing I had left was a pair of faded green shorts, and a black t-shirt. All I've worn since Ben brought me here are long sleeves, and pants. The shorts and t-shirt would reveal my scarred, bruised, ruined, skin. With just one glance, Ben would know my entire life story. Not that he already knew it, anyway.

I looked back down at my sweaty cloths, and decided that I didn't have any other choice. With another sigh, I stripped myself of said clothing, and shivered as the cool, night air coming from my window caressed my naked body. I replaced the clothing with the shorts and t-shirt, and at the last second, decided to brush my hair as well, and draw it back in a low ponytail at my nape. I glanced at myself in the mirror one last time, before making for the door. Why was I so worried? It was four in the morning, for goodness sake! Ben wouldn't be awake at this hour…he'd be snoring away.

The kitchen was dark when I entered, and naught but the sound of the wind gently blowing through the tree branches in the back yard could be heard. I embraced the silence, and absorbed it as I flipped on the light. Again, everything was still; you could hear a flea sigh. I padded quietly to the dinner table, and sat.

I folded my arms atop its smooth surface, when the memories hit me at full force. It was as though there was a strip of movie film behind my eyelids, and I was watching myself. It all played out for me, from the night I was six, and my mother left us, all the way up to the rest of my nightmare. Oh, that horrid night! That was the very night I'd decided my voice wouldn't be heard anymore. To my grievance, the miniature film fest didn't stop there. It continued on, replaying all of the times I'd been throttled, bashed, cut with broken bottles and glass because I'd run away from the house for a few hours. The times my heart was shattered by boys that I thought loved me, all of the times people called me a lost cause. They all hit me at the same time. It hurt me like someone was bashing me over the head, and I clasped my hands over my temples as a whimper passed my lips.

"Blake?"

I literally jumped out of my chair, and stumbled back until my head hit the fridge.

"Blake?" Ben called, a little more concern in his voice that time. "Are you alright?" he asked as he rushed to me.

"N-never…better." I snapped, swatting his hands away. I staggered back over to my chair, and clumsily plopped down in it.

Ben shuffled around the kitchen for a few minutes, before setting a glass of water in front of me. "What are you doing up at this hour?" he asked quietly as he took a seat across from me. "Do you realize that it's fifteen minutes past four in the morning?"

"I s-should…be a-asking you…th-that." I shot back softly.

He gave me a serious look. "Blake."

I sighed, suddenly feeling like a small child. "N-nightmare."

He studied me seriously for a moment, trying to decide if I was being sarcastic, then looked on at me sympathetically. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked down at my glass of water. "N-no."

"It might help." he pressed gently.

I closed my eyes, and held my head in my hands. "R-rape." I muttered. "Th-the night I…s-stopped talking."

I peeked at him through my fingers, studied his facial expression, and then allowed my hands to fall from my face to the table with a soft thud. He reached over and gently took my right hand in both of his, and began to lightly run his thumbs over an indented, pale, red scar that rested there.

"I'm sorry that happened to you." he said quietly.

"It's in…th-the past." I murmured. "Y-yet, it s-still haunts m-me."

"That isn't an easy thing to get over." he soothed. "At least you don't have to worry about that happening to you here." he smiled.

To his surprise, and my own, I returned his smile, and it was a mirror image. I timidly reached for his hands, and held them there one the table. We sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, before my question from earlier came up again.

"W-why are…y-you up?"

He smiled sheepishly. "This case I'm working on is keeping me up. I've been having an argument with myself on who I think it is." he chuckled.

I chuckled as well, and stood.

He furrowed his brows. "Where are you going?"

"I-I've got…l-laundry to w-wash."

"At this hour?" he looked at me like I'd gone mad.

I smiled. "I'm n-not…s-sleeping after…th-that nightmare."

* * *

I was practically jumping up and down in my seat when daylight came, and we were parking at Mike's house.

Jerry was waiting on the porch for me, that charming smile on his face. He walked calmly to my side of the car, and opened my door. "Good morning." he grinned.

I smiled. Ben was the only one I was really _willing _to speak to. Jerry was working on it with me, and was doing quite well with coaxing words from my lips. With people other than those two, however, I was still passing notes.

Jerry leaned down a little, and gazed at me with his beautiful, glowing, emerald eyes. "Don't you have something to say?" he whispered.

His charming smile won me over. "Hi."

He laughed lightly, and it was like music to my ears. "Fair enough. Come on, I want to show you something." he took me by the hand.

I followed him quietly…because he obviously gave me no other option. His hand felt so right, so warm, and comforting in my own. I was actually quite disappointed when he let go once we reached the porch, where Cora, Mike, and Ben waited with smiles. I turned my back to them, though I could feel their gazes on me.

Jerry ignored them as well, and put on a black backpack that was resting by the porch swing. "We're going for a walk, Mum." he called, taking me by the hand again.

I shivered.

"Be careful." she replied.

"And don't lose her on the way!" Ben joked.

Without missing a beat, Jerry called back without turning, "I'll bring her back only minimally scathed!" Upon realizing that my expression was a bit on the bewildered side, he laughed, and squeezed my hand. "Just a joke. No harm will come to you while you're with me." he soothed.

I sighed inaudibly. Those beautiful eyes, and that smile…I'm surprised he couldn't hear my heart hammering away against my ribs. All I could do was smile back, and hope he wouldn't release my hand.

* * *

"We're almost there, I promise." Jerry breathed, pausing to put his hands on his knees.

We'd been hiking for half an hour, at least, and still hadn't reached our destination. I was beginning to wonder if he was leading me around in a circle.

"We just have to climb to the top of that hill, and we'll be there." he assured me.

He slowly took his backpack off, and dug around in it. When he pulled his hand back out, he was clutching a dark blue bottle. He unscrewed the lid, and held it out to me. "Water?"

I began to reach for it, when he pulled it away, and smiled. "Don't you have something to say?"

I snorted softly. "Y-yes, I would…l-like some."

"Some what?" he pressed.

"S-some…water!"

His smile and eyes softened, and he handed it to me. "Very good." he cooed.

I quickly snatched the bottle before he could say anything else, and took a few long, slow sips. I noticed the most peculiar thing as I drank. Jerry couldn't seem to take his eyes from throat, especially when I swallowed. Cautiously, since I didn't know what he would do in the next second, I slowly passed the bottle back to him. His fingers landed lightly on top of mine, and for a few moments, we just stood holding the bottle.

"Uhm…" he started. "Sorry. I must have zoned out for a moment."

I nodded as he quietly took the bottle, and watched him drink in the same manner I had.

"Well, then." he said cheerfully, putting the bottle back in the bag, and the bag on his back. "Off we go."

I didn't hesitate in allowing him to take my hand. As a matter of fact, I think I met him half way. He smiled, and led me on up the hill.

A cool breeze rustled our clothing, and ruffled our hair once we reached the top. The sun shined down on us relentlessly, blinding us for a few seconds. But when our vision was normal again, what a site! A green valley laid before us, abundant in water, ferns, wildflowers, and trees.

"You see that stream, there?" Jerry pointed. "That's where me and my family go swimming, the summer, of course."

I could imagine! This was a perfect place for a family to spend time together. Nothing but the breeze blowing through the trees, and the sounds of birds chirping could be heard. The environment around us was very clean…not one piece of litter in sight. Completely animal friendly, too. A fox bounded from behind a tree, and didn't seem to notice us as she crawled down into her burrow, just a few yards to our left.

"You like it?" he grinned.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I-It's…beautiful!"

"Aye." he agreed. "It's a land trust. This valley has laid here, undisturbed, since the eighteenth century. It had served as a pasture, and there was even a small skirmish on it in the seventeenth century! That's when the citizens decided to donate the land to the land trust. They thought it was too beautiful to just use for grazing land, and the fact that there was a small militia skirmish, they didn't want anyone disturbing it by building homes, or businesses on it. So, here it lays…a lush piece of English land. Completely natural, and undisturbed."

I only continued to smile, enjoying the peace, and beauty of the place.

"Would you like a tour?" he asked softly.

All I could do was nod.

He took my hand, and began walking me slowly down the hill. "Just think, Blake. We're not far from the ocean. Pirates walked this very same land! We've even found artifacts! Pieces of Eight, eighteenth century style jewelry, all sorts of things!"

I listened quietly as he rambled on and on, just enjoying the sound of his voice. I didn't even realize we were near the bottom of the hill, until he cautioned me.

"Watch your step, here. There are some loose rocks covered by grass, and…"

He wasn't able to finish his sentence, for I stumbled, and started to fall on the very rocks he was warning me about.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the rough landing, and the taste of blood when my chin would strike the rocks. I waited some more…and more…but the pain never came. I opened my eyes, and found that my arms were around Jerry's neck, and his were around my waist. Our wide-eyed gazes met, and neither of us seemed to be able to look away. Both our breaths were labored, and were coming out slowly against each other's faces, which I doubt were even a few inches apart. He leaned in a bit closer, and my head, on its own accord, leaned in, too. He captured my upper lip, and took it gently into his mouth. My instincts were screaming at me to back away, but my body wasn't listening. His sugary taste kept me rooted, and I couldn't help but savor the sweetness of his lips. His hands began rubbing along my spine in long, slow strokes, and his soft, slick tongue gently begged entrance to my mouth. That's where I tore away, and stumbled to the even ground at the bottom of the hill.

"Blake?"

I couldn't help but notice the small note of hurt in his voice.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked, stopping in front of me. "Tell me what I did wrong, and I won't do it again."

I tried to hang my head, but his finger on my chin wouldn't allow it. He gently forced me to look up at him. "Please." he pleaded. "I'm sorry. That was out of line. I…"

He stopped, and furrowed his brows at about the same time I did mine. Was that shouting? I followed along behind him, trying to find the source of the noise. We had to walk quite a ways into the trees, down a path, but we soon found what was causing the commotion.

"It wasn't my fault! You're the one that decided to shoot the guard!" A man shouted. He was very tall, with black hair, brown eyes, and a slim figure. He also looked to be in his twenties.

"You were supposed to distract him! If you had distracted him, we wouldn't have this problem!" A blonde man with blue eyes shouted back. He was also tall, looked the same age as the other man.

There were two others standing by. Both were taller than the two arguing men, and had deep brown hair.

"Oh, will you stop it!" One of them screamed. "There's nothing we can do about it! Just…"

The man wasn't able to finish his sentence. To my horror, the blonde drew a pistol, and pulled the trigger. The dark haired man fell to the ground, blood splattering on the other three men and his clothing. I heard a shriek, and didn't realize it was mine until everyone turned and looked in my direction.

"RUN!!" Jerry yelled, yanking me by the hand.

**Uh-oh! Poor Blake's horrid life is about to get even more horrid. But what about that kiss?! Lol. Anyway. Please review! I appreciate it when you do! It motivates me!**


	7. Fuel for the Fire

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!**

* * *

My lungs felt as though they were on fire. Were they gaining on us? Were they even chasing us any longer? I risked a glance over my shoulder, and found that the men were in fact chasing us, and were gaining as well.

"Just try to make it up the hills!" Jerry said between breaths. "If we can make it up, we can definitely make it down, and to the house!"

A shot rang out, causing both of us to duck our heads down a bit.

"Don't let them get away!" One of the men shouted. "They witnessed the whole thing!"

The man's words only fueled me on. I'd been raped, beaten, and lived in my own personal hell for most of my young child life. I wasn't about to be murdered after surviving everything I'd been through. I looked around me quickly, ideas hitting me from all angles. "Th-throw whatever…you can g-grab!" I yelled.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jerry's backpack fly through the air as we bounded up the hill. I pushed down as hard as I could some of the lose rocks with my feet as we ran. Some of them rolled down, some of them stayed put.

"We're almost there!" Jerry breathed.

Another shot rang out. I hissed as a stinging sensation ripped through the side of my right knee, and stumbled forward, over the top of the hill. I rolled roughly downward, thanking God that the pressure had temporarily been taken off my knee, and I was still moving at a quick pace.

"Come on, we're almost home!"

Jerry pulled me up by the arms, and we were off again. Just one more hill, and we'd be able to see the house.

"Mum, call dad, and tell him to bring back up!" he yelled into his mobile. "I can't explain, just do it!"

My knee was burning with pain, and my jeans leg was soaked through with my blood. The house came in my view, and despite the pain, I ran at full speed until we crashed through the front door.

"What's going on?!" Cora shrieked at the site of my leg.

Jerry slammed the door, and locked it and all of the windows. "We were at the valley. We heard arguing…and we went to see what it was. There were four men…We ended up seeing a murder…They had guns, obviously." he said between breaths, motioning to my knee. "Did you call dad?"

"Yes. He's on his way, and bringing back up."

"Good." he whispered, collapsing beside me to examine my knee.

I hissed, and flinched away.

"Jerry, carry her to the loo, and then fetch April. We'll need a pair of her shorts."

* * *

"You know that I'm a professional nurse, right?" Cora said quietly as she eased herself down in a chair.

I nodded.

We were in the loo, preparing to doctor up my knee. I was sitting on the toilet,(with the lid down, of coarse), Cora was sitting in a chair to my right, next to my knee as I just said. Jerry was sitting in front of me, on the rim of the tub. His fingers were wrapped lightly around my ankle, should I decide to try to kick. Last but not least, April stood to my left, prepared to hold me down. I think their preparation to physically hold me down was all really quite unnecessary. I've been in a lot of pain before, and I knew they just wanted to help. I wasn't going to try and run, or swat at them!

"I have good news." Cora started, wiping the blood with a we rag.

I grinded my teeth together, but didn't complain.

"It's a graze. The bullet just nicked a few layers into your skin. All we have to do is clean it and keep it covered." she smiled.

I sighed inwardly. _'Good. Nothing serious.'_ I thought

Jerry began to silently stroke my ankle with his thumbs, and smiled at me. I could see the relief in his eyes. I smiled back, not even realizing that Cora was poking away at my wound. I did notice, however, when she applied a cloth swimming with alcohol. A grunt/growl sounded in my throat, and I dug my fingernails into my upper arms to keep from yelling.

"Almost done." Cora soothed.

I was relieved a few minutes later when she put the gauze over the wound, and wrapped it with long strips of bandages.

"There. See? Nothing to it." Cora smiled. "Jerry, if you would please carry her to the couch in the living room. April and I will clean up here."

I silently marveled at how gentle Jerry was when he lifted me. It was as though he thought I was made of glass, and he knew any little mistake would shatter me. His arms felt so strong to my weak figure, and I dreaded the moment he would put me down. But when the moment came, and he eased me gently on the couch, he didn't leave.

He propped my head on his lap, and took my hand. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

I furrowed my brows at him. "W-why? It's m-my…f-fault."

He shook his head. "No. The fault is mine. We shouldn't have investigated."

"J-Jerry…"

We were interrupted by Mike running in the house, followed by Ben, and a man I'd never seen before.

"Is everyone alright?" Mike called, rushing to us.

I sat up as Jerry stood.

"I'm afraid there's been a murder." he said quietly.

I hadn't noticed it before, but Jerry's voice sounded a bit shaken.

Mike took his son by the arm, and sat down next to him on the other couch. Ben knelt down in front of me.

The man I'd never seen sat a few feet from me on the couch. He was an older man, maybe in his sixties. His light brown hair was fading, and he had a bit of grey mixed in. His eyes were blue, and looked to mean business.

"What's happened? Are you alright?" Ben asked. His eyes seared mine frantically. "What happened to your knee?"

"Paper? P-pen?" I stuttered. My voice sounded a bit shaky, too.

Ben dug around inside his jacket for a moment, and produced a small pad and a black pen. I took it gently from his hands, and began to write.

'_Jerry wanted to show me the valley, not far from here. When we reached the bottom of the second hill we'd climbed, we could hear two voices carrying out an argument. We went to investigate, obviously. We found that there were four men. One of them had blond hair, another had black, and the other two had very dark brown. One of the dark haired men tried to intervene, and the blond shot him. That's when they noticed us, so we ran. The blond shot at us twice. He missed the first time, but hit me in the right side of the knee the second time. It's nothing serious. The bullet only skimmed the surface. Anyway, we managed to escape, and we've only been here for a little while. You showed up literally a few minutes after Cora patched my wound. Please don't get angry with Jerry, this isn't his fault.'_

I passed the note back to Ben, then looked over at the unfamiliar man.

He smiled kindly at me, and held his hand out. "I'm Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby. You must be Blake? I've heard a lot of good things about you."

I offered him a weak smile, and shook his hand.

"I'm sorry we had to meet on such circumstances." he apologized.

Still, I smiled weakly, then turned my attention back to Ben. All sorts of emotions were playing across his face, and I had trouble telling if he was angry, sad, or relieved.

"Shot? They shot you?" he growled.

"It's a-alright." I whispered. "J-j-just a graze."

"Dad has already headed in the direction of the scene." Jerry said, taking a seat to my right. "He took back up with him."

I reached for his hand without really realizing it. He grasped mine gently, and automatically began stroking my knuckles.

"You're sure we don't need to take you to the hospital?" Ben pressed.

I smiled gently, and took his hand with my other one. "No. I'm just…sh-sh-sh-shaken."

A sigh passed his lips, and I was a bit surprised when he wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me gently against him. I couldn't help but allow myself to sigh as well, and wrap my arms around his neck while pressing my face to his shoulder. I felt so weak…

"You're trembling." he mumbled. "But you're safe…"

Safe? Is there even such a thing? Danger lurks everywhere, dear uncle. You're a police officer, man! You know safety is just something temporary, or not real at all. I didn't say anything on the matter, though. I didn't want to spoil the moment…I just wanted to be held.

"Sir?" Ben said quietly.

I tuned out the conversation. I was much too weary to care. It was probably just police business, anyway. But wait. Ben was gently pushing me away. He smiled a small smile, and gathered me up bridal-style in his arms.

"I'm taking you home, and Mr. Barnaby is allowing me to take the rest of the day off, so I can take care of you. Put your arms around my neck, please. It will make things a bit easier."

I did as he told me silently. Your job, uncle? You're really taking time off, losing money, to look after me?

"Here, let me get the door for you." Jerry offered, opening the passenger door of the car.

"Oh, thank you, Jerry. Watch your head, sweetheart." he told me gently.

"Here are her shoes. Her blue jeans are quite dirty. Mum is going to try to clean them, and then get them back to you later."

"Tell her she's very appreciated, Jerry." Ben smiled. "Thank you."

"Yes, sir." Jerry nodded as Ben began walking to the other side of the car. He then leaned down close to my ear, and whispered, "I'm not giving up." he then lightly stroked a few stray strands out of my face, tucked them gently behind my ear. "Expect me to come visit you sometime." he smiled, just before shutting my door.

**HELLO!! Sorry for the delay. Please tell me what you think, and if everyone was in character! Thank you! Please review, I really appreciate it when you do! It motivates me!**


	8. A Hard Night

**Mad-Eye-Maddie: Hmm…It may, it may not. I don't want to reveal why he'll be put in the hospital just yet. Yes, action, and Barnaby! I'll try to fit him in wherever I can. Thanks for the good luck!**

**x-Emily Tennant-x: Yes, Jerry is very sweet! We'll be seeing some more of that sweetness in future chapters. Barnaby is always cool, and I was very excited to bring him into the story. Yeah, I couldn't hurt Blake too much. We still want the girl walking, poor dear! Thank you for the complements! **

**oughtonkillby: Thank you! Yes, we'll be seeing more Barnaby. I'm trying to get the feel of his character right now. We wouldn't want him acting outside of his normal self, now, would we?**

**Matteic: It is good that she's communicating more. She is in very good and capable hands, and her communication will get better. Oh, yes, I will find her a whole lot more problems! Couldn't do without that, aye? I'm working on putting Ben in the hospital, don't worry! He'll be in there soon…**

**Rollieo 122: Thanks! Much more to come!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!**

* * *

My knee was hurting…again. The pain ripped through my flesh as though I'd been shot again, and my back arched up from the mattress. Three hours I'd been laying in bed, yet sleep had evaded me. The pain was keeping me up. I was sweating, and the pain was so much that I was sick to my stomach. Was I going to be sick? There had been cases before where I'd been in so much pain that I'd lost my lunch…dinner…whatever I'd eaten prior to being hurt.

My jaw tightened as the saliva in my mouth got hotter and hotter. Yes, I was definitely going to be sick. I sat up slowly, hissing at the sharp pain, and put my legs over the side of the mattress as I grabbed a waste basket. The usually soothing sound of the rain tapping on the roof wasn't helping, for it was pounding very hard, and the thunder was rattling the house. Flashes of lightning lit the room briefly, and only caused me to be more nervous. I clutched the rim of the waste basket as another clap of thunder sounded.

"How do you feel?"

Ben's calm voice startled me, and just as he entered the room, the contents of my stomach were involuntarily launched into the basket I held on my lap. Strong hands helped me to the floor, on my left knee, where I could hunch over the basket easier. My body slightly lurched forward as more of my dinner was lost, and my throat burned as stomach acids came up with it. A comforting hand rubbed slow circles along the length of my back, soothing away some of my nervousness. Tears coursed down my cheeks when my body continued lurching and lurching, and I could feel the strain it was putting on me. It was over in a few more lurches, and I allowed myself to go limp in Ben's arms.

"There, now." he soothed. "Do you think that's all?"

I nodded weakly.

He gently lifted me up from the floor, and eased me back onto the mattress. "How's your knee?"

I groaned.

"I thought so." he said quietly. "I've brought medicine for you. It'll help with the pain.

I groaned again. "P-pills?"

"No. It's liquid. It'll make you drowsy, and numb the pain. You should be asleep in no time."

"Okay." I whispered.

I could hear the sound of a bottle being opened, and then I could feel his hand on the back of my neck, tilting my head slightly forward. The medicine tasted sweet, and I had little difficulty swallowing it.

"You're bleeding again." I thought I'd heard him murmur.

More sounds filled my ears. This time it sounded like a box being opened, and objects in that box were being shuffled around. I opened my eyelids halfway, finding Ben digging around in a medical kit. "When did y-you…get th-that?" I moaned.

He smiled. "I brought it with me."

I closed my eyes again as his fingers brushed against my leg. I could feel and hear him cutting the bandages off.

He pushed my foot back, causing my knee to bend. "This may sting a bit." he warned.

The smell of alcohol burned my nose, and before I could figure out what was going on, my knee felt as though it was on fire! I covered my mouth and eyes, trying not to scream as my back arched farther up from the mattress than it had the first time. My teeth grit together as the pain seemed to increase, and rods of different colored light seemed to appear behind my eyelids. Was this what they meant when they say you can see stars when you're badly in pain? I was beginning to feel sick again.

"Almost done, Blake. You're doing good." Came Ben's soothing voice.

I took several deep breaths through my nose, trying to fight off the nausea. Was it really possible to be in this much pain? Apparently so. A whimper passed my lips as a shiver seemed to travel my entire body. It just seemed to make the pain worse.

"Nearly finished." Ben said.

I thought I could feel gauze being pressed to the wound, and then cloth bandages being wrapped around my knee. Just a few more minutes, and the probing would be over.

"There. All done."

I collapsed flat on the mattress and lolled my head in his direction. My eyelids were beginning to feel heavy, and my vision was going fuzzy. Did medicine really work that fast, or was I so consumed by my pain that time had flown by?

"What's wrong?" I slurred.

Ben's expression seemed to have taken on a concerned look, and he was holding my right hand in both of his. "Nothing." he said quietly. "You just…It gave me a scare, today, when Mike ran out of the police station, screaming for backup over his shoulder. I didn't know what to expect when we drove up to his home."

I furrowed my brows. "You were s-scared?"

He nodded. "I was."

"B-but, you're a police officer." I slurred in confusion.

He chuckled. "That makes no difference, Blake. Police officers are people, too. We just wear uniforms, or carry badges that reveal our line of work. I was very afraid of what I would find when I raced to you."

I was taken by surprise when he leaned over me, and placed a lingering kiss on my brow.

"I m-mean something…t-to you?" I whispered.

His eyes took on an emotion that I wasn't familiar with. "You mean a lot to me!" he murmured. "I love you."

My heart skipped a beat, and I completely forgot about my pain. "N-no one has…ever t-told me that…and m-meant it."

I was shivering violently, despite my fever and sweating. Ben pulled the sheets to my neck, and wrapped his arms around me, providing extra warmth.

"I'm honestly sorry that I'm the first one to mean it." he said sadly. "Very sorry."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "It hurts…" I whimpered, even though I'm not one to complain when I'm hurting.

"I know, sweetheart." he said quietly. "Just try to relax."

My vision was getting blurrier by the second, too. "I can barely...k-keep my eyes...o-open."

"Keep them closed." he whispered. "Go to sleep. You've had a long day."

My eyelids seemed to close on their own accord, and my grip around his neck was loosening. He began to hum...a deep, mellow sound, deep in his throat. If it was any normal night, this action would do nothing for me. But now, given the circumstances, the slow, lulling tune was working its magic on my tired body. I began falling in and out of consciousness, and before I knew it, I fell gently into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Ben, are you here?"

I woke to a voice...a deep voice, that wasn't Ben's, and even more disappointingly, wasn't Jerry's. I opened my eyes to slits. If it wasn't Ben's voice, and it wasn't Jerry's, whose was it?

I started to sit up, but the pain in my knee felt like someone was touching me with a flame, and there was a weight pressed to my belly, and side. I opened my eyes completely, and was met with an interesting site. Ben had fallen asleep in the chair next to my bed. He was slumped over partially on the mattress, and partially on me. His head and right arm was the weight I'd felt on my belly, and his shoulder is what was pressed to my side.

Footsteps were drawing nearer. I shut my eyes completely, and tried not whimper at the fire-like feeling in my knee.

"Ben?" The deep voice sounded again. The footsteps paused in my doorway, then continued until they were right next to the bed. "Ben, wake up."

Now I could feel movement. Someone was shaking Ben's shoulder, trying to roust him from his peaceful slumber. Who would have the nerve to do such a thing to such a tired man?

Ben stirred, and then the weight of his head was off of my belly, though his arm stayed. "Mike? What time is it?" he slurred through a yawn.

"Nearly ten. You don't usually sleep in this late. We've been calling you all morning!" Mike said softly, as though trying not to wake me.

I kept my eyes closed, wanting to hear what they would say.

"Who's been calling? You?"

"Me, Cora, Barnaby. We began getting worried. You're usually up before nine, even on your days off."

He yawned again. "I was up late with Blake. Her knee was bothering her so badly that it was making her sick, and I had to change the bandages, then she needed medicine. I was up for quite a while."

I thought I could hear Mike patting Ben on the shoulder. "Good man. Cora will be proud of you. She was worried last night, and wondered if she should stay over here, should any medical attention be needed."

Ben snorted softly. "Thanks. Now I know how confident you are in me."

"Anyway," Mike chuckled deeply in his throat. "When Blake wakes up, Barnaby wants to ask her some questions. You know, what she saw, what she heard. He did the same with Jerry this morning."

"Okay." Ben answered softly. "But I don't know when she'll be awake. She had quite a night, poor thing."

I could feel his left hand stroking my forehead.

"No problem. Barnaby is here, by the way. They didn't find any evidence in the valley, with the exception of bullet shells and blood. Tests have to be analyzed, so there isn't really much we can do at the moment, but ask questions."

"Can we go to the valley later on? Question some of the officers about what they've found?"

"Sorry mate." Mike said quietly. "I'm afraid we can't have anything to do with this one. They won't let me, or you work on this case, because our children are the ones that witnessed the murder. We'll just have to keep working on the case prior to this one. It still has to be solved, too."

"Ah. I see." Ben replied.

I could hear the disappointment in his voice. He wasn't going to get to do his job, and it was completely my fault.

"Hey, let's go have coffee, or tea. Barnaby wants to speak to both of us." Mike said, briefly interrupting the small silence.

"Yeah, sounds good."

I felt his hand stroke my hair back one more time, before he placed a lingering kiss on my brow. But as soon as his hand and lips left me, two sets of footsteps started up, and were leaving the room.

"By the way, I brought Jerry with me." Mike laughed. "He was really wanting to come."

I felt my heart skip again, the second time in just a few hours. That's got to be bad for you, but there isn't really anything I can do about it. Jerry was here...in my home...soon to be in my bedroom?! He _couldn't_ see me! Not like this! My hair was probably a disaster, I smelled like blood and sweat, and I probably looked like an all out mess! I mentally slapped myself. My uncle couldn't work a case because of me, I'd lost a lot of blood, and could probably die if I lost anymore, yet I was worried of how I looked so I could impress a boy. Really smart, girlie. Worry about boys when there's a chance you could die. Smart.

"How do you feel?"

That voice! That sweet, melodic voice! Then his scent...a mixture of pine and warm sugar...

"I know you're awake. I saw you open your eyes when dad was searching for Ben." he chuckled softly.

His face must have been close to mine, for I could smell his breath. It smelled sweet, too, but I couldn't label it with a scent. I didn't really care, it just smelled good.

I slowly opened my eyes, and drank him in. His ink-colored hair was brushed neatly, and parted on the left, as always. His intelligent looking eyebrows were creased slightly with worry, and his beautiful green eyes were a lighter shade of green because of the concern that filled them. A well-fit gray t-shirt covered his slim torso, but revealed the slight muscular build about him. Even his lightweight black jacket seemed to show off his strong shoulders and arms! His legs were clad in well-fitting blue jeans, revealing the smooth shape of his strong thighs, which drew my attention to another area...

I tore my eyes away from that place, and brought my attention back to his intelligent facial features. Was he smirking at me? Had he seen where my eyes had wandered?

"Does my very presence in the room make you blush?" he asked smugly.

I tried to pass off a cough as a snort. "I look...a-awful."

He smiled, and took my right hand in both of his. "You look beautiful."

"You said th-that with...a s-straight face." I said playfully. "You could make...a d-descent liar."

He gave me a signature smirk. "Messy hair or not, I meant it." He lifted my hand to his lips, and dropped a kiss on my knuckles. "I heard you had a bad night?"

I only nodded. I didn't want to gross him out with details.

"I wish I could have been here." he said quietly.

'_Me too.' _I thought.

"Ah, she's awake!"

Both Jerry and I looked to the doorway with a start, finding Barnaby there. He was smiling knowingly at us, and I wondered if he'd heard the entire conversation.

Jerry stood, and offered the chair he'd been sitting in. "Sir." he nodded.

"Thank you, Jerry." he nodded in return.

My eyes never left Jerry as he took a seat on the foot of my bed, and propped my feet in his lap.

"Again, I'm sorry we had to meet on such circumstances." Barnaby apologized, drawing my attention back to him. "It would be nice to see you on kinder terms."

I plastered on a fake smile, and peeked around him. Ben and Mike were in the living room, talking in hushed tones about something. I had no options; I would have to answer Barnaby's questions.

"May I ask you a few questions?" he asked in a more serious tone.

I nodded, and grabbed the pen and pad resting on the nightstand.

"How many people did you see?"

'_Four.' _I wrote.

"How many male, how many female?"

'_Males, all four of them.'_

"Do you remember how tall any of them were?"

'_All of them were over six feet.'_

"Did you hear anything they said?"

I furrowed my brows for a moment. _'One of them accused another that something was his fault. He said he wouldn't have had to shoot the guard if the other had distracted him.'_

"What did you see?"

The right corner of my mouth twitched. _'One of the others tried to intervene, tried to stop the argument. Before he could really say anything, the one doing the accusing pulled a gun, and shot him. That's when they noticed us, and we had to run. We were almost to the house when they got me in the knee.'_

"That will be all." Barnaby smiled. "Thank you."

I nodded, and tore the paper off of the pad for him.

"I hope you'll be feeling better soon." He said cheerfully as he stood.

I nodded, and waved as he left the room.

Jerry was back at my side in an instant. "Why wouldn't you speak to him? I thought I'd gotten you speaking again?"

I smiled. "No. J-just you, B-ben, and your f-family."

A smirk pulled at his lips. "We'll have to work on that, then."

**HELLO!! Apologies for the long wait! I have started to write a book, and that has taken up some of my time. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Please review! It motivates me!**


	9. The Worst Mistake of My Life

**Matteic ,Rollieo 122, and x-Emily Tennant-x: Thank you!**

**WARNING! CHAPTER CONTAINS BRUTAL CONTENT!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!**

* * *

"Crisps?" Ben asked lightly as he held the bowl out to me.

"N-no thanks."

We were sitting next to each other on the couch, watching a movie we'd checked out at the video store. It was a comedy about a police officer, surprise, surprise.

"We're not allowed to do that!" he said irritably at the officer's actions.

I chuckled lightly at my uncle's annoyance. He'd been criticizing the entire film since the moment we'd popped it in, saying what they were and weren't allowed to do while on duty.

"It's just a m-movie, B-ben." I smiled.

His head snapped in my direction. "I know. I'm just saying..."

I silenced him by leaning against him, and by tucking my head beneath his chin. He put his arm around me, and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I smiled again. This is how it was supposed to be.

Ben's mobile went off, interrupting the light humor in the air. "Sorry. It's Cora's number. I should answer." he apologized quietly. "Hello, Cora! What..." he furrowed his brows. "I'm sorry, I can't...Cora, calm down! Shh...What's happened?"

I looked on curiously, and slightly concerned at the shock that entered his eyes.

"Is he alright?" he paused. "Okay. Try to stay calm, and we'll be right over." he hung up. "Grab a jacket. Mike's been in a car crash."

* * *

We arrived at the hospital in a matter of minutes. Ben had put a light atop the car, turned on the siren, and put a lead foot on the gas pedal. I even had difficulty keeping up with him when he raced into the building, too.

I don't really like hospitals. The sights, the smells, the way I didn't want to touch anything because it seemed that everything was infected with sick germs. I'd spent way too many days in them, too. And doesn't it seem that everyone that sits in the waiting room always seem to have a solemn look about their faces, as well? Anyway. I was only too sad to realize that I knew all four of the people waiting in that wretched room.

"Ben!" Cora called sadly.

Ben was at Cora's side in an instant. He gathered the sobbing woman up in his arms, cooing and hushing her like a child.

I looked around the room, found April and Daniel, but Jerry was nowhere in sight.

"Hey." April said weakly, trying to smile through her tears.

I smiled at her sympathetically, and pulled her into an embrace. "H-how is he?" I asked quietly.

"We don't know!" she cried against my shoulder. "They won't tell us yet."

I looked down when I felt a tug on my pant leg, and found little Daniel, staring wide and teary-eyed at me. "Why won't anyone tell me what's going on?"

April smiled down at her little brother, and scooped him up in her arms. "There's been an accident." she started softly as she walked to one of the deserted corners of the room.

"I'm glad you could make it."

My already torn heart tore slightly more at the sadness in his deep, smooth, voice, and I turned to face him. My breath caught in my throat at Jerry's condition. His usually well-groomed inky hair was mussed up, as though he'd been running his fingers through it quite a lot, and his intelligent eyebrows were creased with worry. His beautiful green eyes were dark with pain, and gloom, and his lips were slightly pulled down at the corners in a light frown.

"Well, I mean, I wish none of us had to be here, but it's nice to have you with me in this place." he said with a lump in his throat.

'This place' he'd said. He had the exact same feelings about hospitals as me.

"You're walking better." he mused. "That's good. It has been three weeks, after all." he tried to smile, but it caused the tears in his eyes to fall slowly down his cheeks.

I reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist on an impulse, and tried to murmur comforting things in his ear. He pressed his face to the curve of my neck, and I was surprised to feel continuous tears on my skin. He was crying softly. He was trusting me with his emotions. _Me._

"Mrs. Williamson?"

All of us looked up upon hearing the quiet voice of a nurse.

She offered a kind smile to all of us, and looked down at her clipboard. "Constable Mike Williamson is going to be fine, Mrs. Williamson. He has a few cuts and bruises here and there, and few cracked and broken ribs. But other than that, he's alright. You may see him now, but only two of you at a time may go into the room."

"Thank you." Cora choked out. "Do you know how long he'll be staying?"

"We're definitely keeping him over night, for observation. After that, it depends on his condition."

"Thank you." she said again.

The nurse nodded, and walked away.

"Come with me, Ben." she suggested. "I need an arm to keep me upright." she then turned, and looked at Jerry, April, and Daniel. "I'll be back soon, kids. Stay here."

Jerry's arms loosened slightly from around my shoulders, but stayed there otherwise. "I was starting to worry about her." he said softly. "I thought she was about to go into labor when the hospital called with the news. I had to drive us up here, and April had to sit with here and Daniel in the back." he glanced briefly at Daniel, who was looking very tired in April's arms. "Poor Daniel didn't have a clue of what was going on. He's probably been scared silly."

I smiled lightly, and rubbed small circles along his back. "Y-you looked scared, t-too."

He chuckled feebly. "I wouldn't doubt it. He's a good man, the best dad anyone could ask for."

I realized that he looked very tired, too. Drained would be a better word, actually. I took him by the hand, and led him to one of the couches in the room. He laid down and rested his head in my lap, and closed his eyes. I couldn't help but think that he looked like an angel, lying there peacefully now that he knew his father was alright, and for a moment, I wondered if he _had _come from Heaven.

April joined us on the couch by taking a seat next to me, a sleeping Daniel in her arms. She smiled. "He's knocked out, poor, little man. It's quite a few hours after his bed time."

I smiled as well, and studied the little lad. He resembled his big brother very much, and like his brother, looked like a spitting image of his father. He, too, looked like an angel as he lay there, sleeping in his sister's comforting arms.

* * *

An hour rolled by before Cora and Ben came back into the room. Both looked exhausted, but enlightened as they took a seat.

"Two of you, go visit him. He's eager to see you." Cora smiled.

Jerry and April exchanged glances.

"Take her with you." April said. "I don't want to wake Daniel yet."

I was shocked. Was she really willing to allow me, not even a relative of her father, to visit him before her? I shook my head. "N-no, you go w-with Jerry. I can w-wait with D-daniel." I told her.

She smiled. "It's alright. I'm not ready yet."

Jerry nodded. "Come on, he'll be happy to see you."

I walked reluctantly with him down the long hallway, hand-in-hand. He seemed more relaxed since he'd had a nap, and his steps seemed lighter than before.

"Dad!" he said softly as we entered the room.

Just as the nurse had said, Mike was slightly cut up and bruised. His right eye was black and blue, and he had a small nick on his left earlobe. A bruise covered a large section of his left cheek, and his entire right arm was bandaged.

Despite the pained look in his eyes, he smiled. "Son, Blake." he nodded.

"Goodness, Dad! You look like you've been in a fight!" Jerry laughed lightly as he gently went to embrace his father.

"Wonderful to see you, too." Mike chuckled. "And you, Blake. Come here!"

I smiled softly at him, and moved into his embrace. "G-glad you're alright."

"Me too, darling. Me too." he nodded again. "Is your mum still alright, Jerry? She looked more than just flustered when she was in here."

"Yeah, she was alright when we left the room."

I stood by silently and listened to the conversation, and watched as father and son interacted. I suppressed a chuckle when I realized that we, much like Cora and Ben, had been talking to Mike for just about an hour.

"Take care of your mother and siblings while I'm away, alright?" Mike sighed. "Make sure she doesn't go into labor, either. The last thing we need is the baby being born prematurely."

Jerry nodded in understanding. "Okay. I'll send April and Daniel in."

* * *

"Do you want us to stay?" Ben asked.

Cora looked up from her large belly, and smiled. "No, it's alright. You've been here long enough. You look terrible."

Ben rolled his eyes. "Thanks. But, you're sure? I can stay longer."

"Go on." she pressed. "We'll be fine."

Ben nodded, and took me by the arm. "If you're certain. I'll come by in the morning, and help around the house."

I took one more look at Jerry, who had finally fallen asleep on the couch. It made me ache to just leave him here, in this place, without saying bye. But, I didn't want to wake him; he looked too peaceful.

It was dark when we stepped out of the building. Eerily dark. I considered going back into the building, but couldn't think of a good reason to give Ben. So, I kept walking. Little did I know that that was the biggest mistake of my life. The car was parked near the side of the hospital, where the car park was just a bit darker than the front car park. It is easy for me to see now how the shadows hid them so well.

I was nearly to the car when they emerged.

"Hello, pretty! Why don't you just come with me and my friend?" A tall figure said as he draped his arms around my shoulders.

Before I could react, a large hand was pressed to my mouth, and I found myself being dragged to the back of the hospital, where the only light was coming from the headlights of a beaten up car.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Ben shouted as he chased after us.

I strained to see around my captor, and found that another man was hustling Ben around the back as well, except he was using a pistol as a threat. When we made it to the back of the building, I was slammed roughly against the car, and punched in the gut. Ben, having been taken off guard by what my captor had done, was in no better condition. He was being hit in the face relentlessly by the other man's fists.

'_This is it.'_ I thought. _'I witnessed a murder, and _I'm_ about to be murdered for it.'_

My captor hit me in the face multiple times with his fists, then moved lower to my stomach. "It's a shame we have to kill her." he laughed to his partner. "She's rather pretty."

I was disgusted by the way he began touching me. His hands grabbed and touched in a way that only a husband should his wife. I could feel it in his hands that he was going to rape me before murdering me, and I wasn't about to have it. I kicked him in the groin and took off at run, but stopped suddenly when I remembered Ben.

"Run!" he called weakly from the ground. "Go while you can!" he said before he was brutally kicked in the face.

I felt as though I was being torn in half. Run and save my life, and allow my uncle to die, or turn and try to attack his attacker, and die trying. Either way sounded horrible, before I could decide, I was grabbed again.

"You shouldn't have done that." the man growled.

My body was flung mercilessly against the side of the car, and I heard the sound of a switchblade being opened. The man pulled my head back by my hair, and dragged the blade across my left cheek. I cried out for help, but was silenced by his lips hard against my own. I felt the blade slash against my side, before I was thrown to the ground, and kicked in the gut.

"Perhaps you'll cooperate, now that you know just what I'll do." he hissed.

I felt his weight on me, and I could hear my shirt being torn. This was it.

I cried vainly for my uncle, and screamed at the top of my lungs. The man pressed his blade to my throat, and I glanced at Ben. He could only watch helplessly from the side as his attacker continued hitting him.

"Get off!" A different man shouted.

Both men froze at the voice, and I felt the weight lift from my body. I looked up, and found the blond man from the valley staring down at me, and then at the man that had tried to rape me.

"That's not what we came here for! I told you specifically to murder them, and run! It seems you can't even do that!" he shouted. He drew a pistol, and aimed it, to my horror, at Ben. He pulled the trigger, then looked to his henchmen. "See? It's that simple! Now get rid of the girl, and wait for the boy!"

I gave up. If my uncle, the only man that showed me true care wasn't alive, I didn't want to be either. I flinched at the sound of another gunshot, but was confused to find that the bullet hadn't struck me. I could hear a lot of running footsteps, and then the shouting of several men and woman.

My vision was fading in and out, but I thought I saw several uniformed police officers.

"Man down!" One of them shouted. "He's been shot, but he's still breathing!"

Someone's hands were on my shoulders, then my face, as though they were examining me. My vision faded completely, and the last thing I heard was the sound of handcuffs being taken out.

**So now you know why Ben will be put in the hospital. Please don't hate me! Please review! Reviews motivate me!**


	10. The Voice of an Angel

**x-Emily Tennant-x and Matteic: Thank you for reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!**

* * *

It was freezing. I wasn't aware of my surroundings, who might be around me, if I'd eaten...if I was even wearing clothing, by how cold it felt. I tried to flex my right hand, only to find that something had a hold on it. I furrowed my brows. Was I feeling someone else's hand on my own? Why would someone be holding my hand in the middle of the car park? I ran that question through my brain several times, and came up empty. Why _would _someone be holding my hand if I was laying in the car park, dead?

I took a chance, and opened my eyes, then closed them again with a soft moan. Yep, I was dead. There had been a bright light just in front of me.

"Oh, God." A deep, silky voice said beside me.

"You've s-seen Him?" W-we're almost th-there?" I stuttered.

"What are you talking about?" The warm voice asked. "Seen who? Almost where?"

Okay, I _had _to be dead. That was _definitely_ the voice of an angel, and that was _definitely_ the warmth of an angel's fingers caressing my forehead, and stroking my hair.

"Open your eyes, Blake. You're safe now." The angel whispered, placing a kiss near my hairline.

"N-no. It's t-too bright." I moaned.

I heard footsteps, and...wait. Footsteps? If we were in the clouds, how could there be footsteps? From behind my eyelids, things seemed to grow a bit dinner. Was I fading again?

"Try it now?" The angel told me as he took my hand in his, and put his other partially my forehead, and partially on my hair.

"T-try what?" I whined.

"Open your eyes." The angel murmured patiently.

I swallowed slowly, and opened my eyes millimeter by millimeter. My vision was blurred slightly, but I could still make out the outline of the angel.

"W-where are your wings?" I whispered.

I could tell he'd furrowed his brows. "Wings? What are you talking about, Blake?"

It was my turn to furrow my brows. "Aren't you an angel?"

He didn't say anything for a moment. "Blake, it's me! It's Jerry, not an angel!"

Ah, Jerry! My heart began to pound against my ribs. "Is th-there a difference?"

Again, there was a short pause. "Do I need to fetch a nurse? Are you alright, darling?"

I blinked. "I can't see."

Jerry jumped out of his chair, and leaned over me. "What?! Nothing at all?!"

"N-no! It's b-b-blurry! Why are y-you f-f-freaking out?" I said with slight panic.

"I'm not freaking out." he said calmly. "I just...If you lose any abilities at all because of those bastards, I swear I'll go to the police station right now to murder them!"

"P-p-police station?" I whispered. "Did they c-c-catch them?"

He sighed, and sat back down. "They caught two of the three. One of them is still at large. They've got detectives, constables, and police dogs after him. He's wanted in two cities now, especially after shooting..." he stopped short.

I furrowed my brows. "Jerry..?" Then it hit me. What had happened to Ben? Where was he? "Jerry...where's m-my uncle?"

Silence.

I tried to sit up and spring for the door, but a searing pain shot through my legs, torso, and head, sending me crashing back down to the bed like a heap of rocks.

"Calm down, Blake." Jerry said quietly as he put his hands on my shoulders.

"Wh-where is he?!" I sobbed. "T-tell me now!"

"Not until you lie still!" he warned.

My only movement was the sobs racking my body. "T-tell me." I whispered.

He cupped my jaw in his hands, and looked me right in the eyes. "Listen closely, alright?" he said gently. "I'm not going to lie to you. I'm going to tell you what's going on. Can you handle the truth?"

I nodded.

"Do you promise to not jump up and try to run from the room to find him?"

"Is it that bad?" I whispered.

He sighed. "I know you love him," he said in that gentle voice yet again. "And I'm not going to lie and tell you he's perfectly fine. I'm going to tell you as it is."

"Okay." I said softly. "I'm ready."

"He's in intensive care, being treated right now as we speak. The bullet has done some damage to some of his tissue, and it will take a lot of time and medication for it to heal. Due to the amount of times he was bashed on the head, he's fallen into a coma. The..." he paused for a moment, as if considering his words. "The doctors said with the amount of beating he received, and the large amount of blood he lost, the bullet should have killed him."

I had to wait a few minutes before I could speak. "It sh-should have k-killed him?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes, but he's fighting it. Remember, I said he's in a coma, so there's no telling what he's thinking about. Whatever it is, though, it's keeping him strong." he paused for a moment. "I think it's you."

I studied him for a moment. "What?"

He smiled. "He could be thinking about you. Anyone that glanced at him could tell he cares about you. He loves you! He's thinking about you, and it's keeping him alive..._You're_ keeping him alive, Blake.

I smiled a fake smile, hoping I looked convincing. Me? I was the only thing keeping my uncle alive? _Me?_

"What is it?" Jerry asked suddenly.

I furrowed my brows. "What do you mean?"

"You're eye...you look uncertain."

"Well," I started. "Wait. You said my _eye_. Am I missing an eye?!" I panicked.

"No!" he laughed as he grabbed my hands, keeping them from reaching my eyes. "Your left eye is covered with gauze. The cheek that took you hostage tried to take your eye out when the police came after him. He only managed to slash a thin cut through your eyebrow, and across your eyelid. You still have two eyes, and, apparently, they still work. By the way, how is your vision now?"

"Better." I mumbled. "I can see you bit clearer now. Jerry?"

"Hmm?" he smiled, stroking my knuckles with his thumbs.

"How did the police get there so quickly?"

"There were a few constables at the front of the hospital when you and Ben were being beaten. They were going to visit my dad, when they heard you scream. They were on their way to investigate when they heard the pistol go off, and they ran and saw what was going on. The man that had shot your uncle got away in his own car, but the two attackers were captured."

I sighed, and leaned back against the pillows as I reached for the bandages that kept my left eye covered. There was a bulge of gauze over my eye, and bandages went all the way around my head. "I feel like a pirate." I mumbled.

Jerry chuckled. "You look like one...except you're far cleaner than any of them ever were."

A deep chuckle from the doorway brought us back to reality. Barnaby was standing there, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Mr. Barnaby." Jerry nodded.

"Good afternoon." he nodded back. "Blake." he said softer. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled weakly at him as Jerry moved so he could sit in the chair he'd been occupying. Barnaby thanked him, and sat.

I cleared my throat, and prepared to speak for the first time to someone that wasn't like family to me. "I n-need to tell you something." I started timidly.

He nodded for me to continue.

"Th-the men that attacked m-me and Ben...were the s-same that had ch-chased Jerry and I. The blond man d-didn't sh-show up until..." I paused for a moment, wondering if I should continue.

"Until?" Barnaby pressed gently.

"Until o-one of them tried to r-r-rape me." I stumbled horribly over the word. "He started shouting at our a-a-attackers, saying that w-wasn't what he'd s-s-sent them for. That's when he shot Ben." I said softly. "He told them it w-was that easy, to f-f-finish me off, and wait for the boy." I motioned to Jerry. "Jerry, he meant. I th-think Mike's car crash was a s-s-set up to get us all here, where they could do th-their work."

"You say the blond didn't come until they tried to rape you?" he questioned.

"Mhm." Was my strangled reply. I still had trouble discussing such subjects.

"Do you think he'd been watching from somewhere?"

I nodded. "H-he seemed to appear from kn-know where."

"And you're certain these are the same men that had chased you and Jerry?"

I nodded. "I've n-never been more c-certain."

"Thank you, Blake." he said as he stood. "You've helped us quite a lot."

"W-wait!" I called out as I caught his hand.

He turned and raised his eyebrows, leaving a silence for questions.

"H-have you seen Ben?" I asked quietly.

"I was just on my way to see him."

I swallowed hard. "If he happens t-to be awake...t-tell him I'm s-sorry...a-about everything...Please."

I saw a brief flash of confusion in his blue eyes, which he hid well with a small smile. "I will."

I squeezed his hand weakly in thanks, and tried my best to return his smile before he walked out the door.

"Sorry?" Jerry said in confusion as he took his seat again. "For what?"

"It's m-my fault he's in th-this place." I whispered.

He sighed softly, and leaned down close to my face. "None of this is your fault, darling."

"Darling?" I smirked at him.

He took my hand slowly in both of his, and swallowed as he looked me right in the eyes with his beautiful emeralds. "That's usually what a person calls someone that they hold dear to their heart." he said slowly in his silky voice.

I wanted so badly just to touch him. To touch his face, or his neck, and then lean the rest of the way up and kiss him. I wanted to kiss him like he had kissed me in the valley that day; tender, and sweet. Could I trust him, though? I've known him for weeks...nearly a month, actually. Would it be wise? I decided to test that question. Really, how badly could he hurt me in a building filled with people that could hear me scream, should I need help? I leaned up slightly, not having to move far because his face was so close to mine, and took his bottom lip gently into my mouth.

He returned my kiss for only a few seconds, before pulling away. "Lay back against the pillows, and relax." he whispered.

I did so, finding that I couldn't help but bend to his wish. When I did, he resumed kissing me. He was slow, and gentle, just as he had been near the woods. My weak hands reached up to the back of his head, running through his cropped, smooth, ink-colored hair, and his hands slid gently up my neck to cup my cheeks. His lips tasted sweet, just like last time, but I could detect the slight flavor of oranges. I pulled him slightly closer, wanting to test more of the taste. His tongue rubbed slowly over my lip, begging entrance. I hesitated, but allowed him complete access to my mouth. Small rods of light appeared behind my eyelids as his tongue searched, stroked, and flirted with mine. He was making my body ache in ways and places that caused me to blush, which caused me to abruptly break the kiss.

His eyes seemed clouded over when he opened them, like he'd just come out of a spell. I couldn't help but feel a tug of sorrow at the slight hurt in those beautiful eyes.

"Blake Jones, is it?" Came a soft voice from the doorway.

Jerry practically jumped to a straight posture sitting position, and my neck popped because I'd looked so quickly to the door. It was the nurse from the other night. Had she witnessed the entire scene?

She walked calmly to the side of the bed with a slight smile. "I've come to give you medication, Miss Jones." she said, filling a needle with some sort of clear liquid.

Before I could object, the needle was plunged into my right forearm, sending a head-lightening sensation through that area.

"It will make you quite drowsy. I'd say you'll be asleep in twenty minutes or so." she started for the door, but stopped when she noticed the annoyed look on Jerry's features. "How's your dad coming along, lad? He signed out two days ago, didn't he?"

"Yes, mum." he answered politely, despite his annoyance at the woman. "He's been spending most of his time on the couch, in front of the tv with my mum and little brother...and eating a lot more than usual."

The nurse chuckled. "That's a good sign. He's healing quickly." Then she was gone.

Jerry turned back to me, the annoyance still in his eyes. "Did she hurt you badly?"

I shook my head. "Dizzy." After thinking a moment, I furrowed my brows. "You're dad is already out? Didn't I just visit him last night?"

He shook his head sadly. "You've been asleep for two days."

**I think I fancy sleeping two days, minus the slight concussion! Please review! It motivates me!**


	11. Suicide Attempt?

**x-Emily Tennant-x and Matteic: THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!**

* * *

"Blake? Wake up, darling." A silky voice whispered in my ear.

I didn't have much trouble opening my tired eyes; Jerry seemed to have that affect on my body. I smiled as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "I l-look terrible."

"Shut up." he laughed. "The doctors are allowing my mum and dad to sign you out, since Ben isn't able to. You're free to leave this awful place!" he smiled.

I stared at him in mild shock, and delight. "F-free to go? W-where will I stay?"

"Our place, in the guest bedroom. You're going to live with us for a while."

I looked away from him for a moment. Me...living in the same house...as Jerry? Hmm...I liked that idea! "Okay." I whispered. "I n-need clothing before I l-leave the room."

As odd as it sounds, I wasn't happy with the idea of leaving the hospital in naught but a hospital gown. Just a bit too breezy in the back for my liking.

"It's been taken care of." he smiled as he pointed to a small, neat pile of clothing on the nightstand next to my bed, "April went by your home this morning, and picked some clothing out for you. She couldn't seem to find any clean blue jeans, though, so she brought sweat pants instead."

Ah, that's right. I was going to do laundry the night we were attacked.

"I hope you don't mind?" he asked quietly, breaking me from my grim thoughts.

"No." I smiled. "I'm s-still sore. I p-prefer those, anyway."

"Good." he smiled. "I'll just pop out so you can change. Would you like for me to send mum in to help you?"

I shook my head. "N-no. I've got it."

"Right then." he said as he exited the room.

As soon as he shut the door I tossed the covers from my body, revealing that the hospital gown had traveled to my upper thighs sometime during the night. I eased myself to a sitting position, and swung my legs over the side of the bed in as slow a manner as I could. It shot a sharp pain through my entire body when I did this, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been five days ago when I'd tried to leap for the door when I'd remembered Ben.

Ben.

I would have to request to visit him after I was dressed. I walked slowly to the small pile, and dug through it at a leisurly pace. A plain, black t-shirt sat on the top of the pile. Under it, a fresh pair of underwear, socks, and a bra, followed by my favorite navy-blue sweats. A pair of new, unworn, black tennis shoes sat on the floor near my feat, and a black satchel sat near them.

'_New shoes?'_ I thought in confusion as I picked them up. They were the type that you could just slide your feet into, and pull the end over your heel if it didn't happen when you'd put your foot in. They had that 'new-shoe-smell', even. Had they really gone out and bout me new shoes?

I set them down, and picked up the satchel. After digging around for a few moments, I found a new, light green hair brush, a new package of black, green, and brown pony-tail holders, and a new bottle of deodorant. The satchel even seemed new!

I eased the bag down, and revealed my naked body by removing my hospital gown. Chills traveled my exposed skin, causing me to dress quickly. I felt bad that they had gone out and bought me new things. Before Ben had taken me from my personal hell, no one had been willing to spend money on me; I had to buy my own things. It felt strange that someone had gone out and gotten me these things for no apparent reason.

I set that thought aside, and brushed and fastened my hair at my nape with a green pony-tail holder. How much time had gone by? Jerry was probably getting impatient, if not a bit angry at how long I was taking. With this new thought, I put my things in the satchel, put the strap on my shoulder, and walked out of the room. I found Jerry leaning against the wall when I walked out into the hallway, and he didn't look angry at all. In fact, he looked very calm, collected, and happy when I walked into his line of view.

"Ready?" he smiled.

"A-actually, I was hoping we could v-visit Ben b-before we leave."

He nodded in a seemingly understanding manner. "Okay. He's in this room"

I furrowed my brows. "H-he's been in the r-room next to mine?"

"They just moved him here yesterday."

I sighed softly through my nose. "M-may I go alone?"

He nodded.

I offered a thankful smile, and opened the door slowly. What laid before me took my breath away, and shattered my heart. Ben was laying on the hospital bed, black, blue, and purple, and hooked up to a heart monitor. A thin, clear tube ran across his face, and up his nose, supplying him with oxygen. I somehow found it in me to close the door before I stumbled to his bed side. I put my hands in his right hand, which had a needle stuck in it, which was connected to a tube that led to a bag of clear fluid.

"What have I done?" I whispered as I fell in the chair by his bed.

His right cheek was being held together by a string of stitches, and his right eye was black, and swollen shut. His bottom lip had a large split towards the corner, and his left cheek was covered in gauze and bandages. Under all of the stitches and such, his face was a ghastly shade of blue, and purple. Even his hand, of which I held, was bruised and bandaged, and I thought I could feel some broken fingers.

I shakily reached up to stroke his hair back with my ice-cold fingers, and as soon as my fingertips slightly grazed his forehead, a groan passed his lips. I could feel a sob catching in my throat. I'd barely touched him, and it had caused him pain.

A strong hand grasped my shoulder gently, while another, a smaller hand, rubbed my back. From my peripheral vision, I could tell that it was Mike and Cora. Knelt down beside me was Jerry, who was hugging me around the waist. For some reason, I couldn't really see or feel them I could only see my uncle, nearly dead before me. I thought someone was saying something, but I couldn't make sense of it. I couldn't hear anything but my heart pounding in my ears. Something started tugging at me, too, but my legs felt numb, and foreign to me. It felt as though I was completely immobile.

Something lifted my arms, and then something else lifted my body. We were nearly to Mike's police car when I realized that Mike was carrying me, and my arms were around his neck. He felt amazingly strong compared to my weak body, and I wondered if he was Hercules in disguise. The last thing I recall from that day was Mike's sympathetic face as he eased me into the back seat of his patrol car.

* * *

The warmth and serenity in the atmosphere of the Williamson home brought feeling back to my numb body, but sadly, not completely to my mind. I watched Mike and Cora work together in the kitchen from my spot on the couch. They were preparing dinner; ham, vegetables, and bread, by the smell of it. They conversed quietly, and even seemed to be flirting lightly with each other as they worked. Mike would try to pinch off a piece of bread, and every time he'd try, Cora would raise her big, metal spoon up in threat and say his name in a laugh or a shriek. Mike would literally leap backwards a few feet, then would go at it again as soon as Cora would lower the spoon.

"Do you feel alright?" April whispered as she sat next to me.

"Yeah." I nodded as I looked back to Mike and Cora. "It's b-beautiful, how in-love they are."

She smiled. "It felt so strange when they married, because Jerry and I were so young, then. I can't imagine them without each other, now. They're wonderful parents, and good spouses. It's like they were created for each other."

Mike made yet another grab for a piece of bread. Cora, having set her spoon down, swatted at him with her bare hands. Mike dodged her hands completely, and got behind her. His long, strong arms wrapped around her, and her pregnant belly, as he placed quick, vigorous kisses on her neck.

"Mike, the children!" she laughed quietly, though her eyes showed no objections to his actions.

"What," (kiss) "About," (kiss) "Them?" Mike replied through his exaggerated kisses.

"Michael, please!" she hissed under her breath...though she was still smiling at him.

"Alright then!" he whispered. "Later."

"Please! There are other people in the room!" April shrieked playfully.

I couldn't help but laugh at the amused expression that Mike sent his daughter. "One of them doesn't seem to mind." he smiled. "Besides, I haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet."

"Please spare us!" Jerry said when he walked into the room.

"It's alright." Cora laughed. "It's time for dinner. Jerry, go get your brother, please."

* * *

Dinner was filled with smiles, laughter, and jokes. Despite all of this, though, I still felt numb inside. Not even the constant, charming smiles that Jerry sent my way could make the image of Ben leave my mind even for a second, even though it was two days ago that I'd seen him.

"You've been unusually quiet, Daniel." Mike said from his place at the head of the table. "Do you feel alright?"

"Tired." he mumbled.

I watched quietly as Cora stroked her son's hair affectionately. "You've had a long day, haven't you?"

Daniel closed his eyes as he leaned into his mother's touch. "Hmm."

I couldn't help but notice the soft, loving looks that Daniel got from his mm and dad. That's the way it's supposed to be. Parents are supposed to love their children, to help them along, and watch them grow. Sadly, not all parents feel obliged to do those things.

"Kids, do you mind cleaning up while we put Daniel to bed?" Cora asked quietly when Daniel began drifting to sleep against her.

"Go ahead." April answered for us. "We'll take care of the dishes."

I left the table quietly as Mike scooped his little boy into his arms, and was followed by Cora. I wandered the living room without purpose, and paused in front of the large, glass doors that lead out to the patio and back yard. The sky was pitch black, and filled with glowing stars. The grass even seemed to be a dark color, due to the lack of light, and I could barely make out the silhouettes of a child's toys laying in the yard. It must have been very cold out there, too, for a shiver traveled my spine.

I walked away from the doors and began making my way to my room for a jacket, when voices caught my attention. I realized I was standing in front of Daniel's bedroom, and I couldn't help but stand near the door frame to see what they were talking about. Daniel was lying in his little bed, the covers pulled under his arms, a teddy bear wrapped in one of his little arms as he placed his thumb in his mouth. Cora sat on the bed near him, and Mike was sitting behind her. Both were smiling lovingly at the child they'd had together.

"Take your thumb out of your mouth, Daniel, so we can understand what you're saying." his mother scolded softly.

Daniel did as he was told. "What if the monsters come for me?" he asked fearfully.

"There aren't any monsters, Daniel." Mike soothed. "You were only dreaming when you thought they came for you that night."

"Just a dream?" he asked in a small voice.

"Yes, darling. Just a bad dream." Cora said, smiling softly.

"What if they come back in my dream?" Daniel asked with tears in his eyes.

"They won't, son. I scared them away. They won't come back if they know what's good for them." Mike smiled, ruffling his son's hair.

"You did?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes, my little angel. They won't bother you anymore. Go to sleep, now." Mike said in a soft voice. He leaned down, and placed a gentle kiss on his boy's forehead. "I love you."

"And I love you, too." Cora told the boy, also placing a kiss on his brow.

I smiled, and decided to go on to my room. I'd seen and heard enough to know that Daniel's parents were as loving as April had said. My bed caught my eye once I entered my room, and I suddenly realized just how tired I really was. I stumbled over, and flopped down on my back on the mattress. I was surprised a few moments later when Mike and Cora entered my bedroom, as well.

"Going to bed already? It's only just now nine. Are you feeling alright?" Cora asked as she took a seat on the edge of my bed.

"I-it's been a long t-two weeks." I murmured.

I thought I could see her nodding slowly from the corner of my eye. "It has." she said quietly as she rubbed the length of my back in a soothing manner.

"How did you kn-know I was in here?" I yawned.

"We heard you flop down on the bed." Mike chuckled.

I chuckled lightly, but said nothing else. I hadn't had anything to say since I'd seen my uncle in such a condition. A sigh passed my lips, and I shivered again.

Cora's gentle hands pulled the covers to the base of my neck, and then stroked my hair. "Sleep tight, love."

"Good night, sweetheart." Mike added.

"Hmm." Was my answer.

* * *

Midnight found me awake once again. My knee was still troubling me, but it usually didn't bother me unless it was very late at night. I sighed lightly through my nose, and reached up to trace the healing scar that slashed through my left eyebrow, and eyelid.

'_So much madness...' _I found myself thinking.

Out of frustration I tossed the covers from my body, and tiptoed down the hallway. I couldn't help but stop in front of Jerry's room, seeing as the door was standing wide open, and there was pale light coming from the doorway. Jerry was lying on his belly on his bed, his eyes drawn to the tv as he played a video game. I found it fitting that the character he was playing as in the game was a knight in shining armor.

'_Remember the task at hand, girlie.' _I told myself.

I continued through the house quietly, and took the large, sliding glass doors to get to the back yard. The air was crisp, and cold on my face, arms, or any exposed skin. The dew on the grass made my bare toes curl together for warmth. It was absolutely freezing. I swallowed hard as I walked out in the middle of the yard, and sat. It wasn't long before my teeth were clattering together.

"Blake?"

That wasn't part of the plan.

"What are you doing out here, darling?" Jerry asked as he grabbed me beneath the arms. "You'll catch your death out here! You're not even wearing shoes, or a jacket!" he scolded softly.

"H-how did you kn-know I was out here?" I quivered.

"I heard the door open." he answered quietly.

I took a moment to study the person I was certain I was in love with. His hair was a little less kept, like he'd been tossing and turning like me. He was wearing a white undershirt that was wrinkled, and...were those...black boxer shorts? A pair of cloth house shoes protected his feet from the cold dew of the grass.

"Why are you out here, Blake? You realize you could catch your death out here, right?"

I hung my head. "I was trying to." I said in a barely audible whisper.

His warm hands cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. "What?!"

I tore away from him as tears filled my eyes. "D-did you not s-see my uncle, J-Jerry? It's m-my fault he's in th-that awful place!"

He was in front of me in an instant. "Sweetheart, that's not your fault!"

"G-give me one reason w-why I deserve to l-live!" I cried.

He looked away for a moment. "I love you."

If it was a normal day, those words would have caused my heart to do cartwheels. But, I'd never had a normal day in my life. I've gotten close, but I've never gotten there. But now...this is the farthest I've gotten from almost there. For some reason, his answer wasn't getting to me. "Why?" I asked bluntly.

He moved his jaw, but couldn't seem to make anything come out.

"Why d-do you love me, J-Jerry? I'm nowhere near p-pretty, I'm s-several pounds overweight, and...I've been r-r-raped. S-spoiled goods. I'm not good enough f-for you." I whispered.

Several pounds overweight. I've always been slim, with just a little flab. It's not as bad as I made it sound. But really, what sort of a guy like Jerry, who is absolutely gorgeous, would want someone like me...out of shape?

"You're very wrong about yourself." he said with hurt in his silky voice. "You're beautiful...and I don't care that you're not a virgin anymore. There was nothing you could do when the bastard decided to do that to you."

I stared at him as he took my hand. "What a-about my body? I'm n-not..."

"You look fine." he interrupted.

"You deserve better..."

I wasn't able to finish my sentence due to his lips crashing on mine. I resisted, at first. I squirmed, and struggled, but his arms were like iron around me. That didn't slow me down, however. I continued trying to push away from him, which caused him to draw back, though he kept his arms around my waist.

"Why are you pushing me away?" he whispered.

"I'm a-afraid of you..." I choked.

"Why? What have I done to scare you?" he asked as though he was in pain.

"It's n-nothing _you've _done. Other boys h-have taught me I c-can't trust people w-with my heart." I whispered shamefully.

His warm fingers tilted my chin up, again, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "I'm not like other people, you've learned that!" he cried softly. "Give me a chance."

I studied him with reluctance. His hair had fallen down in his eyes, which were glassed over with tears. With a closer look, I realized there was nothing but complete honesty, and love there, too. His lips were slightly parted, and were trying to form more words. "Please!" he managed to squeeze out.

My hands rested lightly on his shoulders, though I don't know how they got there. Our bodies were suddenly closer, like some sort of invisible force had gently pushed us nearer. Against my better judgment, I nodded my head slowly.

I suddenly found my body being lifted. He was carrying me bridal-style from the bitter cold of the night, and back into the warmth of his home. He managed to close the door with me still in his arms, and then eased himself on the couch, and me sideways between his sprawled legs.

"What..."

"Shh," he interrupted. "Trust me. That's all I ask."

I closed my mouth, and waited to see what he would do next while we sat in the darkness of the living room. He tilted my head back gently, and caressed my throat with the tip of his nose before lightly nipping at my skin. I closed my eyes as shivers traveled my spine. What feelings was he sending through my body? They felt so new...so foreign.

"Jerry..." I murmured.

"Shh..." he whispered against my jaw.

My lips were claimed by his again, in a much gentler manner this time. I allowed him complete access to my mouth without hesitation, and explored his as my fingers tangled themselves in his hair. Again, he made my body react in ways and places that made me blush, but I didn't pull away this time...I didn't want to pull away. In fact, I drew closer. His tongue dove in without mercy, and, to my surprise, my tongue did the same in his mouth. I started wondering when I had become so bold, but was soon distracted by one of his hands rubbing slow soothing circles on my back. His other hand rested near my good knee, and was rubbing and applying slight pressure.

"I love you." he murmured against the pulse in my throat, before nipping at my skin again.

It scared me how much I believed him. Where had this trust come from? Why did I feel so safe, so secure? I decided to put those thoughts away as his teeth nipped slightly harder. It felt reat, and I couldn't help but arch my throat to give him better access.

"Rest now." he whispered, lifting me from his lap onto the couch.

"But..." I began protesting, wanting him to continue.

"You need rest, darling." he said quietly. "You're very tired; I can feel it in your actions." he dashed out of the room for a minute, and came back only a moment later with a blanket and a pillow. He spread the blanket over my body, stopping it at the base of my throat. He then seated himself on the couch with the pillow pressed against his leg, and propped my head on the pillow. "Go to sleep." he murmured. "I'll be here."

**Well...I guess this chapter pretty much speaks for itself. Please review, it motivates me! Thanks!**


	12. Another Run to the Hospital

**x-Emily Tennant-x: Hmmm...I never thought of it that way. I haven't been raped either, thank goodness, so we're in the same boat by not completely knowing how it makes Blake feel about herself. I think I would feel and say the same things she revealed in the chapter prior, though. Thanks for reviewing, and thanks for the complements!**

**Matteic: Thank you! Yes, a very smart guy indeed! I guess we all know about my fantasy man now...**

**Rollieo 122: Thank you, I appreciate it! More to come!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!**

* * *

_Mike's POV_

"Good morning."

I smiled at the sound of the sweet voice coming from behind me, and rolled over to face its owner. "Good morning, my sweet." My hand slid along the mattress beneath the sheets, and slipped beneath Cora's shirt to rest on her pregnant belly. "How did you fare with our little passenger?"

She smiled softly, and placed her hand on top of mine. "I didn't sleep much. There's been a lot of movement going on in there."

I sighed. "You think it will be soon, then?"

She nodded. "Very."

"It's so early, though." I murmured.

"Don't worry about it, darling. It's going to be alright." she assured me, reaching out to stroke my cheek.

I took a moment to relish the warmth of her hand before dropping a kiss on her palm. "What do you want for breakfast?"

She chuckled. "Whatever is easiest for you to cook."

I flashed her a smirk. "You don't look like you're in a scrambled eggs mood."

She rolled her eyes, and started pushing me out of bed. "Just go fix something!"

I laughed, and began making my way for the door.

"Uhm, darling?" she called after me. "I don't think our children would appreciate it if you walked about the house in nothing but plaid boxer shorts."

I stopped and looked down at myself, and realized there was nothing but bare skin...with the exception of my black and blue plaid boxers. I reached for my navy-blue robe that had been discarded near the door during last night's...activities, as my wife began to laugh at me. "You seem to appreciate it." I grumbled as I finished tying the sash.

"That's different, darling!" she said through her laughter. "Go on, now, so I can calm down!"

I scowled at her playfully before I shut the door behind me, and proceeded down the steps silently. I stopped before I reached the last step, however, when I was met by a startling site from the living room. My son was sitting on the couch clad only in black boxer shorts and a white undershirt, and his feet propped on the coffee table centered in front of the three couches. Blake's upper half was resting in his lap, and her head and arms were pressed to the pillow from his bed on the other side of his legs. A blanket was draped over her from the waist down, and her shirt was raised slightly, revealing a section of the small of her back, and Jerry's hand resting on that patch of exposed skin.

Me, being a concerned father, walked quietly behind the couch, and shook my son gently by the shoulder. "Jerry, wake up."

A soft grunt escaped Jerry's throat, but he didn't move other than that.

I sighed and lightly hit my son on the side of the head. "Jerry!" I hissed.

That worked. Jerry shot to a straight-posture sitting position, and froze when he realized Blake was lying across his lap.

"What are you doing, Jerry?" I asked calmly. "Do you realize your mother would throw a fit if she saw you on the couch...in an undershirt and boxers...with a girl dressed in nothing but sweats and a t-shirt?"

"I can explain!" he whispered.

"I'm waiting." I said in a clipped tone.

He sighed. "She was very upset last night. She thinks it's her fault that Ben is in the hospital. You know, I thought I'd heard something last night, and I went to investigate. Blake had gone out in the backyard, and was just there, in the grass. It was freezing, and she wasn't wearing a jacket, or any on her feet. I told her she would catch her death out there, and she said...that's what she was trying to do. I tried to get her inside, but she wouldn't budge. We negotiated for a while, and I finally got her to come inside, and lay down. I stayed and comforted her, and I guess I just fell asleep after she did."

I searched his face with serious eyes. "Why is your hand where her shirt should be?"

He furrowed his brows for a moment, and looked down at his hand. His eyes widened, and he moved said body part from Blake's back as though he'd been burned. "I fell asleep!"

"Mhm." I grumbled.

"Dad!" he hissed "She tried to kill herself! I was just there when she needed someone."

I sighed. I could feel my expression growing softer. "I was afraid she would take this on herself. I've seen a lot of suicide cases like this."

"What do we do?" he asked softly as he began stroking her back.

"Keep a close eye on her, try to keep things positive." I looked at Blake, who was sleeping away quietly, and gazed at her sympathetically. "Poor dear. She's been through a lot." I reached down and stroked her back also, before the task at hand was brought back to the forefront of my mind. "I need to fix breakfast. Go wake your brother up, aye? I'll get your sister when I've put breakfast on."

"Yes, sir." he said quietly.

He eased himself up slowly, trying not to disturb Blake. She grunted a few times, and drew her legs close to her body, but didn't wake up. Jerry smiled at me as he began making his way up the stairs as if to say, _"Nice trick, right?"_

I chuckled softly, and walked to the kitchen. I began pulling out a few pans and cooking utensils, when my wife caught my eye. She had one of her arms around Jerry, who was helping her to one of the couches. Her expression was pained, and her free hand was gripping at her belly. I set the pans on the counter with a clatter, probably waking the entire household as I rushed to my wife to help her to the couch.

"What is it?" I asked with slight panic.

"I think...I'm going into...labor!" she panted.

* * *

"Do you think she's had it yet?" Little Daniel asked excitedly from his chair in the waiting room.

"I doubt it, Daniel. We've only been here for a few minutes." April answered him patiently.

"Where's daddy?" The lad asked in a board tone.

"He's with mummy. Just relax, Daniel. These things take time." Jerry answered with a little less patience.

I sighed. It had been going on like this for nearly half an hour. All of us had been woken rather abruptly, and were told to get in the car in our pajamas so we could rush to the hospital. So I sat in the waiting room in nothing but my favorite sweats, a black, long-sleeved shirt, and my hair pulled back as neatly as it would go. April was sitting across from me, and was wearing a pair of silky, purple pajamas, her hair also drawn back. Daniel was sitting in her lap, and was wearing a pair matching black, cloth long sleeved shirt, and sweats. Jerry was still wearing what he had been last night, but for the sake of decency, put a pair of dark green gym shorts on over his boxers.

"Why don't you be nice to your little brother, Jerry?" April snapped softly. "He's just as worried as we are."

They had reason to be worried, too. The baby was being born a month early. This could be bad for the mother, and the baby. Mike had nearly been in hysterics when we were rushing over here, which is the main reason Jerry had to drive. I was worried too, don't get me wrong. But seeing as I was back in the hospital I'd just left two weeks ago, I really wanted to go see my uncle.

"Blake?"

So much for sneaking off.

"Where are you going?" Jerry asked, coming to a stop in front of me.

"To visit m-my uncle." I answered in a near whisper.

"do you want me to go with you?"

Was that a hint of sympathy I'd heard in his voice?

"No." I smiled weakly. "I need to do th-this myself."

He looked uncertain of letting me go. "Come back in half an hour, please."

Half an hour? Not nearly long enough. "I'll be back s-soon, okay? D-don't worry about me."

I walked away from him then, and made my way down the halls, and up two flights of stairs, until I was standing in front of Ben's door. I was a bit more reluctant to go in this time, but after a few mental pep talks I willed myself to enter the room. I felt different this time when I saw my uncle again.

I felt worse.

A sob lodged itself in my throat, and managed to pass my lips as a strangled cough. Ben looked just as he had a few weeks ago, but seeing him again brought on a new wave of pain. Every step I took brought me closer to the bed, and the large amount of time it took me to get there was agonizing. It felt as though there were cinderblocks tied to my feet.

When I finally got there, I flopped down in the chair next to his bed in a heap, and took his bandaged, needle-stuck hand in mine. "Hey." I whispered. "It's m-me. I'm sorry I haven't b-been here." I closed my eyes as the tears I'd been holding back streaked down my cheeks. "I'm sorry you're in h-here...It's my fault." I eased my head down next to his on the pillow as I dropped my voice to a whisper. "All m-my fault."

That's when the pain, tears, and guilt hit me at full force. I could feel my body shaking uncontrollably as I was racked with sobs. The pain and guilt was so much that it felt as though someone was striking me with a metal object in the chest, and I welcomed the pain. My shoulders drooped like I had a heavy load on them.

"I sh-should have l-let them capture m-me the first time!" I whispered to him through my sobs. "I sh-should have d-died that day!" I touched my lips to his forehead in a feather-light kiss before pressing my face to the mattress. "I'm sorry, uncle. It's m-my fault. I w-wish I was dead right now."

A pair of strong hands grasped my shoulders. they were too large to be Jerry's hands, and they weren't slender enough to be Mike's. I turned my head slightly, and peeked up at the figure from the corner of my eye. After a few seconds I recognized Barnaby's face, sympathetic and comforting.

"It's my f-fault..." I mumbled. "I sh-shouldn't be alive."

I was surprised when he gently turned me from the bed, and pulled me against him in a light embrace. I wrapped my arms around his big shoulders and pressed my face against neck, and was too concerned with muffling my sobs to be disturbed by the fact that I was crying on a man that I barely knew. one of his hands rubbed my back as he made soft shushing sounds in my ear, and I thought I could feel him swaying slightly.

I don't know how long he held me, but it was long enough for me to calm down, and go limp against him. When I tried to take in a deep breath I realized my head was throbbing. After a few more breaths, I realized just how bad of a headache I really had. I groaned as I eased myself away from Barnaby, and put my head in my hands.

"Do you want some water?" Barnaby asked softly.

"N-no thanks." I whispered.

"Do you need a lift?"

I managed to choke out a "no" as I put my head by Ben's on the pillow. Oh, how my poor head throbbed! "W-why can't I do a-anything right?" I whispered.

"It's not your fault." Barnaby said in an assuring tone. "the murderer made the decision, and acted on it. You have nothing to do with what's happened."

"Have you c-caught him?" I mumbled hopefully.

"No. We're on his trail, though, and we're getting closer every day." he assured.

I nodded, and didn't say anything else as I closed my eyes.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes again Barnaby was gone, and Jerry was standing beside me with an excited expression on his face.

"W-what is it?" I murmured with a fake smile.

"I have a baby sister!" he said calmly. "Come see her, please!"

I briefly looked to my uncle, squeezed his hand, and stood. Jerry then took me by the hand as we left the room, and walked at my leisurely pace.

"You seem to be coping with it a little better." he said quietly.

I nodded and squeezed his hand, trying to avoid eye-contact. If he looked into my eyes, he would definitely be able to tell that my weak smile was a fake one.

Our walk was silent after that. We made our way down hallways and staircases at a nice, slow pace, and slowed even more when we entered Cora's hospital room. It was completely quiet, with the exception of the sound of a newborn baby's soft crying. Cora was lying in the hospital bed, sound asleep. Even while she rested, she looked exhausted. April sat next to her father, and held her brother in her lap; both were staring in awe at the baby that was being cradled in Mike's arms.

Jerry walked me to the unoccupied seat on the other side of Mike, and bade me sit down. I did so quietly, and also peeked over the soft, pink blanket. A small, red face peered back at me. For the first time in days, a genuine smile graced my lips. The baby girl looked just like Mike; the same green eyes, dark, intelligent eyebrows, and nicely shaped nose merited her face, and she had her mother's ears and lips. Her hair was the only thing that didn't look like she'd gained it from her mum or dad. It was black as ink...just like her brother's.

"We've named her Amber Elizabeth Williamson." Mike beamed, not bothering to take his eyes from his new daughter.

I quietly watched him interact with the child. His eyes were soft, loving, and his face was seemingly boyish as he cooed to her. "Shhh, baby. I've got you. Shhh..." he murmured softly against her little forehead.

I was taken off guard by the warmth that I felt growing in my chest. For weeks I'd felt so numb, yet in just seconds the tiny smile of a newborn took most of that away. I timidly reached out to stroke her little fingers, and grinned when she wrapped them around my thumb. I actually relaxed for once! I savored the moment, not knowing if I would ever feel that way again...

**Sorry for taking so long! Please don't hate me! Please review, it motivates me! Thank you peoples!**


	13. Nice and Not So Nice Surprises

**Rollieo 122: Yes. Upon realizing he meant only to comfort her, Blake trusts Barnaby a little more, and that trust will be revealed in later chapters. Thank you!**

**x-Emily Tennant-x: Thank you! More coming your way!**

**An-Outlaw-A-Lady: Thank you! I'll work on that!**

**Matteic: Hmm...I'll try not to put her through too much. But, it will get better, you'll see... Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!**

* * *

"Blake, where are you off to?"

A soft growl sounded deeply in my throat. How long was this to go on?

"To see my uncle. I'll be back in a bit, Jerry." I said irritably.

He sighed. "No. I don't want you going there."

I looked him right in the eyes, and glared. "I'm going, okay? I won't be long."

I opened the door of the little black sports car, and flopped down in the driver's seat. Before I could put the key in the ignition, however, Jerry snatched it out of my hand.

"No, it's not okay! I don't want you going there."

I filled my lungs with the cool, crisp morning air, trying to calm myself as I got out of the car, and marched up to Jerry. "Do you really think that just because I'm your girlfriend you can tell me where I can and can't go?"

"No, I don't mean that at all! I just...don't want you going anywhere near that hospital." he said, shifting his weight from his left foot to his right.

"Why?! What is your problem?!" I said in a louder, angrier tone.

"You get more and more irritable every time you come back from there!" he said with a little more frustration.

"It's been a month, Jerry! He hasn't woken in a month! It's very irritating!"

Back and forth. Back and forth. It's been like this for a month. Not all of the arguing, just questions of where I was going, when I would be back. We'd never really broken out in an argument like that before. I could tell the tension was rising, and I knew it was coming, but I didn't know it would hit me full force like this.

There is one good thing about staying with the Williamsons' for a month, however. Through the constant questions, and failed attempts at trying to cheer me up and keep me talking, Jerry had managed to ride me of my stutter. I was finally used to talking, and could talk smooth and normally. I didn't like talking angry, though.

"That's why I want you to stay away, darling!" he murmured.

I took a moment to study Jerry. His posture was defensive, like he was waiting to accept a punch, and his emeralds were dull with sorrow, and regret.

"You've given up on him." I stated bluntly.

He didn't reply. All he did was clutch the keys tighter in his hand, and he couldn't seem to look me in the eyes.

"Give me the keys, Jerry." I said softly.

"No." he mumbled.

"I can't believe you! I can't give up on him, Jerry! I've only had so much good in my life! He's the only family I have left..." I trailed off sadly.

"We're your family, Blake! Just stay here...with me."

I roughly tilted his chin up, and glared directly in his eyes. "I can't believe you're being so selfish, Jerry! What's happened to you? You used to support me! Now you're just trying to keep me locked up!" I yelled.

"I love you! That's what happened!" he cried.

I scoffed, and shoved him away as hard as I could. "Stop saying that! You don't love me at all!"

I did something I'd never done before, then. I ran away from one of the people I loved so much that it scared me. My tears felt like ice, having been cooled by the coldness of the weather. I didn't care, though. I allowed them to stream freely down my cheeks as I leapt over the fence that led to the back yard. As my eyes swept over the small bit of fenced in land, an idea came to my head, and I rushed to the garden shed...

* * *

It was at least an hour before I heard the shed door open, but I didn't turn to see who it was. I continued to sit in one of two of the lawn chair-like loveseats I'd found, and just stared at the back of the semi-dark shed.

It was a nice, neat little shed, and awfully tidy. Tools were arranged neatly on the wall before me, and shelves took up the walls to my left and right. I didn't know what occupied those, for I'd only stared at the wall full of tools.

The door closed again, and heavy footsteps neared me. I didn't move.

"Is anyone sitting here?" Mike asked in his usual deep, friendly voice.

"Just you." I mumbled.

I felt the loveseat shift slightly as he eased himself next to me, and a sigh passed his lips as he stretched, and made himself comfortable.

"Why is he so...protective?" I asked without taking my eyes from the tools.

"I'm afraid he gets that from me." he chuckled.

"You're not overly-protective. I've seen the way you interact with your family."

"True." he agreed. "Not like I used to be, anyway."

I looked over at him, and found him gazing softly at me.

"I used to be just like Jerry when I was younger." he nodded. "I was very protective when I lost my first wife in a car crash. I think I nearly drove my two oldest children and Cora nutty with it. I didn't even realize I was being that way until the three of them brought it to my attention."

I stared at him for a moment. "So you're telling me to forgive him."

He nodded again. "It would help things along."

I looked back to the tools. "It's not that simple."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

I thought for a moment, anticipating my options. "It's my fault." I finally whispered.

He draped his arm about me, and gently squeezed my shoulder. "Go on."

"That night when we came to visit you in the hospital, Ben had asked Cora if she wanted us to stay. She told him he looked exhausted, and that we should go on home. It took her a few minutes to persuade him, but she eventually got it through his head that she would be alright. So, we left the building. It was really dark out, even with the lights in the car park. I had this...bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to go back inside...but I figured Ben would just think the idea was silly. That's when the two men showed up, and took us behind the building and...did what they did." I paused to look up at Mike, tears in my eyes again. "If I had just told him to go back in the building..."

I found myself being pulled against the tall, strong man as I became more upset. I felt safe in his well built arms, and though his hands felt very strong, and calloused, they were amazingly comforting as they rubbed my shoulders and back.

"If I had only put my foot down..."

"Shh...shh..." he soothed. "I know how you feel."

He wiped my tears from my cheeks when I looked up at him again in curiosity. "What do you mean?" I asked.

He took a moment to compose himself before answering. "I was only a teenager when I married the first time. I had dropped out of school for a while and somehow managed to get a job." he paused to look me in the eyes. "Not one of the smartest things I've ever done. Anyway. It was late when I got home from work one night. My wife had been taking care of the children all day, and was fairly tired, just as me. Tired can lead to frustration very quickly, and to make a long story short, we had a row, and a pretty bad one at that.

"She stormed out of the house, leaving me with the children. Jerry and April were just little things at the time...I couldn't just leave them. I stayed with the children even when I heard the car start." he seemed to falter for a moment. He sighed, blinked, and looked back to me again. "It was around midnight that I heard a knock on my door. The police had come to tell me about the accident."

For the first time in all the time I'd lived with Mike, I saw true sadness in his usually cheerful eyes. His shoulders were drooping, and he'd sort of slumped down in the loveseat.

I reached out and took his hand from his lap, and squeezed it gently. "I'm sorry I brought this up."

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he stroked my knuckles as he took in a deep breath. "Don't be sorry. I brought it up. The point is, I blamed myself for what happened for years, until Cora came into my life, and helped me straighten things out."

I cocked my head to the side. "So you're saying..?"

"Stop blaming yourself. What happened isn't your fault, so let it go." he smiled. "You didn't know what was going to happen, and you're not the one that pulled the trigger."

I swallowed hard, and looked away. "I'll try."

He chuckled deeply in his throat. "I know it's difficult. Cora and I will help you through it."

I sighed, and eased myself out of his embrace so I could put my elbows atop my knees and lean on them. "I feel like such a child. I'm not usually one to express my emotions. My dad wasn't the sort to listen to it, and he would let me know in more ways than one."

"You're not being childish. Everything you've done has been a reasonable human reaction." he assured.

Silence ensued, then. The only thing that could be heard was Mike's hand as it rubbed slowly up and down my back in a comforting manner.

"You know," he said softly as he sat up. "There's a dashing young man waiting to talk to you just inside the house."

I stood, stretched, and then turned to face him. "Tell this...dashing young man to meet me at the car. I'm going to visit my uncle whether he likes it or not, and he can come with me if he wishes."

* * *

"I'm sorry."

I swallowed lightly as I put the car into park position, and shut off the engine. After taking the key out of the ignition and my seatbelt from around me, I leaned back against my seat and allowed my head to loll in Jerry's direction. "It's okay." I whispered as I reached over to seize his hand on the seat. "But, I wish you would have tried to explain in a calmer manner why you didn't want me coming here. We could have avoided the whole thing."

"I couldn't think of anything else to do. You were moving quickly, and didn't seem to want to slow down. I couldn't think of the right things to say right at that moment." he murmured.

"All you had to say was 'let's talk'. I had just woken up, too. You have to realize that when I'm not completely awake, I'm way more irritable than usual." I smiled.

He returned my smile, leaned over, and placed lingering kisses on my lips, cheek, and temple. "I'll try to remember that when I'm chasing you down the driveway."

I paused to soak in the moment as a light chuckle passed my lips. This day had really been an emotional rollercoaster ride.

"Hey." he said as he lightly swatted my arm. "Let's go in. I think that nurse is starting to stare a little too much at us."

I looked toward the front door of the hospital, and raised my eyebrows. "You mean the one smoking the cigarette?"

"Ironic, yes?" he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. A cold breeze immediately caressed my face as I shut the car door, and shivers traveled my spine as I made my way to the front of the car.

"Are you alright?" Jerry asked. "You look a bit pale."

I shook my head and continued walking as I laced my fingers between his. "Memories. Come on, let's get inside."

The inside of the building wasn't much better. I was greeted by the somber faces of friends and family members waiting to hear news of whoever it was they were waiting to see. Nurses walked the halls quickly while trying to read reports at the same time. There seemed to be a low hum of doctors talking to hospital staff.

I remained wordless as I found and mounted the familiar flight of stairs that would lead me to the third floor. I was mentally preparing myself for another visit to that dreadful room. Ben's condition had been getting better, though. Some of the bruises were fading away, but his face and arms were still sort of bluish. He wasn't on oxygen anymore, so at least he was able to breathe on his own.

"Are you certain you're alright?" Jerry asked again.

"I'm fine." I said absentmindedly.

The door was right in front of me. Just a few more feet...

"_Here we go." _I thought.

I gently pushed the door open, and took a few steps in the room, only to freeze in my tracks. Ben's eyes were open, and he was propped against the headboard looking at me.

**ATTENTION!! I have posted a Christmas oneshot between Blake and Ben. Please read and review it! You can find it on my profile, because it hasn't been added to the Midsomer Murders community yet. THANK YOU, AND MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!**


	14. The Beginning of a New Adventure

Disclaimer: I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up!

* * *

"Uncle?" I murmured.

He continued to stare at me, though a slight, and I mean very slight smile tugged at the corners of his lips. His warm brown eyes were filled with agony, tearing my already beaten, bruised, and torn heart the rest of the way until it felt as though it was in two pieces in my chest. But, my presence also seemed to bring a slight sparkle of happiness to those eyes as well.

I walked slowly to his bedside and sat on the edge of the mattress. "How long have you been awake?"

He furrowed his brows for a few moments. "I think an hour."

I shakily took his hand in mine as I placed a light kiss where the stitches used to be in his cheek. "I've missed you." I whispered.

His brows remained furrowed. "How long have I been asleep?"

I gave his hand a slight squeeze. "A month, Uncle."

He stared at me for a few moments, studying the sadness _and _happiness in my eyes. "A _month_? An entire month?!" he asked softly, though the softness didn't hide his shock. "Where have you been staying?"

I smiled gently at him, and stroked his knuckles with my thumb. "The Williamsons have been sheltering me. They've been doing quite well keeping me out of trouble." I chuckled.

He actually smiled that time, and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Have you been trying to get into trouble?"

I only squeezed his hand back, trying not to cry, even though a few tears had already made their way down my cheeks. "I've been very worried about you. My mind isn't what it used to be...and considering what happened before they put you in the hospital..."

Ben nodded, and reached up to wipe my tears away gently. "Now, now." he smiled. "None of that. I'm alright."

A small smile graced my lips as I wrapped my arms gently around his neck. I wasn't being very animated, or hugging him to me. Nope. I was too afraid of hurting him. That's why it caught me off guard completely when it was _Ben_ that hugged _me _against him. Of course, I was at his right side, not his left where his bullet wound was.

"What have you been up to?" he asked as he held me gently against him.

I sighed. What could I tell him? "Nothing. I've been moping around, mostly."

"Oh, Blake." he sighed. "Don't do that."

I eased myself away from him, and lightly traced the line on his cheek that had been left over from his stitches. "Well, it's true. You've been asleep for an entire month. An entire month without waking! You're purple and blue all over, several of your bones have been broken, they had to put stitches in to keep your cheek together, and," I leaned a bit closer to face, and dropped my voice a few notches quieter. "They had to keep you on oxygen for several weeks because they were afraid you wouldn't be able to get enough on your own."

I could feel my body trembling, and I'd given up on all hope of keeping my tears back, for they were running down my cheeks like two separate waterfalls. Ben could only squeeze my hand and look on sympathetically. I probably wasn't helping the poor man's condition, either. I took a deep breath and kept quiet for a few moments before speaking again.

"This is my fault." I whispered. "If I had only told you that night that I'd had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, that I felt we needed to go back inside the building, you would be out solving cases with Mr. Barnaby right now."

I didn't even bother to look Ben in the face. His eyes would most likely be filled with pain at his wounds, and anger at me. He didn't speak, and neither did I. I was panting from my silent crying, trying to regain my breath. I had nothing to say after pointing out the things I did to him.

I released his hand slowly and stood. "I'll leave you alone." Was all I said.

I was surprised when I felt his hand, ever so weak and gentle on mine. "Don't." he told me quietly.

I could hear the pain in his voice. He was in pain. He was in bad pain. He was in pain because of _me. _

"Why?" I asked without turning around. "I did this to you."

He lightly tugged, and I really do mean _lightly _on my hand, and beckoned me wordlessly to sit back down on the mattress. I did as I was told, wondering why on earth he wanted to speak to me.

"Look at me." he said softly.

Just like always, I did as he told me to do, and I was surprised to find no anger in his eyes. Those soft brown eyes...eyes that I could read like a book, were leaving me clueless. There was pain, yes. But, there were other emotions that I'd never seen before. For once, I didn't know what those eyes were telling me, and it scared me. I'd always been able to read eyes.

"It's not your fault." he said softly. "You didn't know what was going to happen." he paused for a moment to stroke my cheek. "You didn't bang me up, and you aren't the one that pulled the trigger." A slight smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Slightly. "It's not your fault."

"But...I had a bad feeling! I wanted to go b-"

"Stop." he said gently, though there was too much seriousness in his eyes. "It's not your fault. It's okay."

I sat and studied my uncle for a few moments, not daring to make a move. He looked completely serious, pained, and very, very tired. His eyes showed that his words were sincere, but I couldn't help but continue to feel guilty about what had happened.

"So," he said, moving on to a different subject. "I noticed that you came in with Jerry."

Jerry? Jerry! I'd forgotten all about him! I turned my gaze quickly to where he had been, only to find him...gone. Where had he gone?

"He left the room almost immediately after you found that I was awake." Ben said, answering part of my question. "Maybe he wanted to give us a moment alone."

I nodded, smiling lightly. Jerry would do that. "We're dating, now. He asked me out about half a month ago." I couldn't help the small amount of pride that had worked its way in my voice. It was slight, though, and even sounded a bit weak.

Ben nodded, a knowing smile on his face. "I see. He'd better be treating you like a lady."

I chuckled. It wasn't the sentence that had caused me to, but the tone of his voice. He'd sounded exactly like a protective father that was willing to make a fuss over some boy that was dating his daughter. "He's every bit the gentleman, I promise."

"You've been staying in his home." he pressed.

"Uncle!" I laughed, very lightly swatting a section of his arm that wasn't bruised and or bandaged. "Mike and Cora are very watchful. We haven't done anything they wouldn't approve of."

Well...almost. I doubt Mr. and Mrs. Williamson would have approved of us sitting at the very back of the movie theatre, making-out like two very love-sick people, and I doubt they would have approved of us laying in his bed together while we read to each other from our favorite books. So, almost.

I offered him my most sincere smile, the most sincere I'd smile in what felt like years, hoping to appear convincing. Ben smiled back as well, but winced shortly after, the simple movement having caused him pain due to the wounds in his cheeks.

"Did they ever catch those men?" he whispered. He shifted so that he was slouching back against the headboard, and closed his eyes.

I swallowed worriedly at his actions, and squeezed his hand. "They caught two of them...but the one that shot you is still at large. He's shot two other officers since then. They have a lead as to where he's going, and they're trying to get special forces involved."

Ben didn't respond. Ben just laid there slumped against the headboard, his eyes still closed, his breathing soft and even. His hand loosened slightly in my own, and my worry inflated. I squeezed his hand once more, and reached up to stroke his hair with my other hand. A faint mew passed his lips before he gave my hand a weak squeeze.

"Do I need to fetch a nurse?" I asked in hopes that he could still hear me.

"No." he replied, his voice still a whisper. "She left ten minutes before you arrived. They can't do anything else for me."

I'd never felt so hopeless. Here was my uncle, wounded and in pain in a hospital full of medicine, and there was nothing I could do for him. I allowed my fingers to trail from his hair to his scarred cheek as I leaned slightly closer to him. "How do you feel?"

He dragged in a long breath. "Weak...tired."

I didn't say anything to his response. Instead, I help him ease himself down on the mattress so he was in a complete lying position. A few moments later, I knew he was asleep again. "Sweet dreams, Uncle." I whispered against his forehead. "Because Lord knows I haven't been having any."

Having said that I kissed the still bruised skin of his forehead and left the room.

* * *

Jerry had to drive on the way back, knowing my emotions wouldn't allow me to focus fully on the road. As soon as we pulled up in the driveway, I was out of the car, and in one of the lawn chairs on the back porch of the Williamson's home, where I remained for several hours. I'd been deep in thought the entire time, not observant to what had been going on around me. I'd been so consumed by my thoughts that I hadn't heard anyone coming in and out of the back doors to check on me every now and then. I hadn't heard the laughter of little Daniel as he played with his father in the living room, and I hadn't heard Jerry and April carrying on a sibling argument in the upper part of the house.

As a matter of fact, I hadn't heard Mike and Cora come out on the porch and take a seat on either side of me in separate lawn chairs. Nope. Didn't even realize they were there until Cora tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped from the surprise of feeling another human being touch me. As I'd sat there all of those hours, I'd slowly slipped back into the past, remembered the abuse I'd received before Ben had come in and taken me away from it all. So, when Cora touched me on the shoulder, I was still in the past, and was ready to run. I'd jumped half-way out of my chair before Mike reached up with his strong hands and grabbed me firmly by the upper arms, pulling me back down in my seat.

"Relax!" he said at my startled actions. "It's just us. It's okay." he soothed.

It took my foggy eyes a moment to clear and realize it was Mike sitting to my left, and Cora sitting to my right, not my father or his seemingly always drunken friends. "Sorry." I whispered. "I...was in the past. I thought you were someone else."

I could tell from the corner of my eyes both of them had nodded. "How is he?" Cora asked.

I smiled slightly, not even sure if it could be called a smile because it had been so small, but answered anyway, keeping my eyes forward. "He was awake when I walked in the room, but...I don't know." I sighed. "He was just so...weak. I got to talk to him for a few minutes, and I'm thankful for that, but..."

I had nothing else to say. I just propped my chin on my fist and closed my eyes.

"Well, that means he's improving." Cora said positively. "How long had he been awake?"

"An hour." I yawned. It had been a long day, after all.

"That's incredible." she told me. "After being in a coma for that long, it's incredible that he had the strength to even speak to you."

I closed my eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. "Do you think he'll pull through?" My voice had only been a whisper. I'd addressed anyone that could hear what I'd said.

"He'll make it, that's for certain." It was Mike that had spoken that time. "I've known him for years. He's a strong man. He'll pull through." he assured.

I did smile that time, enjoying all of the positive information I was receiving. It was comforting. That and Cora had been rubbing my back the entire time. She certainly knew all of the good points; all of the spots I was never able to reach.

"Thank you." I told both of them, my voice yet again a whisper.

"Would you like to come inside?" Mike asked on a more cheerful note. "We have fresh pie just waiting to be eaten."

I chuckled. "No thank you. I'll just sit out here for a few more minutes. I'll come in a few minutes."

They sat there for a few moments, but nodded when I didn't say anything else. I didn't bother to look at them when they got up and went back in the house. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, but all things considered, I was very tired, and mentally drained. I sat back in my chair and made myself comfortable, and began wondering what tomorrow would bring. My life had become a new adventure when I saw Ben sitting up, staring at me. With that picture in my head, I fell asleep.

**FIRST OF ALL! I'm very sorry for taking so long to get this posted. I lost my muse, and interest in the story for a bit. And, school is very stressful right now. I'm hanging on by my fingernails trying to keep my grades up. AND! I'm very sorry if this chapter is completly, horribly, awful. I had the "Dark Knight" playing while I was trying to write, and I get distracted VERY easily! So, sorry if this chapter was just a pile of garbage. Even if it was, please review! I appreciate it, and your reviews motivate me! Thank you!**


	15. Waking Up to a Dream?

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

"Wake up! Wake up!"

I was very abruptly woken by a very loud, high-pitch male voice, and something shaking my mattress. Usually, I have trouble opening my eyes in the morning, but this time they flew open without hesitation. Ah. It was little Daniel jumping up and down on my mattress. Upon seeing I was awake, Daniel laughed gleefully and launched himself at me, landing squarely on the center of my back. I let out a pained groan at the impact, but smiled shortly after when I saw April standing in the doorway.

"At least he doesn't weigh much." she chuckled.

"Guess what?! Guess what?!" Little Daniel practically shouted at me. "We're going to see Ben!"

I perked up at the mention of Ben. Perhaps he would be awake again? "Are we?!" I said in a tone of over-exaggerated happiness over my shoulder in Daniel's direction. "Then why are we still laying around? Get dressed!"

It was only moments later that I felt the light weight lift from my back. Small, loud, running footsteps told me that Daniel had left the room. Only then did April decide to cross the room and place herself lightly on my mattress. I smiled. April's light brown hair was drawn back in a low pony-tail, and she was wearing a faded orange shirt and light brown, almost gray pants with a pair of black shoes. Her crystal green eyes were soft, and observed me with curiousness. She reminded me of a small bird, hence the reason for my smile.

"How was he when you saw him yesterday?" she asked. "I want to prepair myself for anything. Does he...have any form of amnesia? Anything of the sort that would be upsetting?"

Ah. Now I knew why she had curiousness in her eyes. "No." I answered simply. "Nothing like that. He remembers everything that happened up until he recieved all of those blows to the head in the car park. He's just..." I paused for a moment, searching for words. "He's in pain, and he's very weak. He was very tired when I tried to speak to him." I toled her gently.

"What about his body? He's not...mangled, is he?"

I chuckled lightly. "No. He's bruised and scratched, but not mangled." I paused for a moment to study my friend; my friend that has become a sister to me. "You're really worried about him, aren't you?"

She offered me a weak smile. "We were about Daniel's age when mum and dad were dating. Ben was our baby-sitter at night, when he, mum, and dad got off work. He really is like family to us."

I nodded in understanding and threw the covers from my body. "He's going to be alright. From what I've observed, he's very strong-willed."

By the time I'd finished that sentence I was up and at the closet, digging around for a clean, unwrinkled shirt.

"You really ought to clean this place up. It looks like a heard of animals came through here!" April scolded.

I chuckled as I replaced my gray sleeping shirt for the purple t-shirt I'd found on the floor. "If my messy room bothers you so much, why don't you clean it up?"

My room actually was quite a mess. There was a messy rainbow of multi-colored socks on the floor, since I'd taken to purposely mismatching my socks. It was my new thing. It made the Williamson's chuckle, anyway. Among those socks were faded blue-jeans, several varieties of leather, canvas, and studded belts, and then the rest of the floor was littered with all sorts of rubbish, such as empty soda cans and what-not. It bothered me, too, but I didn't feel like cleaning. My mind was usually cluttered with more important things...like my boyfriend...and my uncle.

"No thanks." she smiled. "I already had to help Daniel clean his room a few days ago...and it's already a mess again. You're on your own."

"Not a problem." I chuckled. "It's been like that my entire life." I mumbled as I replaced my sweats with blue-jeans and a silver-studded "rock star" belt.

"Sorry?" April asked. "I didn't catch that."

"Nothing." I said quickly, trying to add some cheer to my voice. "Just talking to myself."

Trying to act normal, I grabbed a green sock and a blue sock without really looking to see what colors I'd grabbed, and put them on before covering them with my plain, black tennis shoes.

"Your expression doesn't say it's nothing." A silky voice said very close to my ear.

I, not expecting to hear that voice, especially so close to me, jumped from a bad startle. In fact, I jumped so badly that I banged my head against the closet doorknob since I was bent over tying my shoes. I straightened up slowly with my hand on the back of my noggin, and found Jerry standing about an arms-length away.

"I'm sorry, babe!" he said quickly as he rushed to me and wrapped me in his strong embrace. "I didn't know I would scare you. I'm sorry." he said as he placed a kiss on my forehead.

Looking to my left I found April still standing in the doorway. She was pinching the bridge of her nose. "When I told you to see what was wrong, Jerry, I didn't mean to hurt her!" she finally managed to say without laughing.

"I didn't mean to!" he smiled.

"It's alright." Came my muffled reply, due to the fact that the side of my face was pressed to Jerry's chest. I held out my hand and gave them both a thumbs up. "I'm good. No pain."

Jerry chuckled and rubbed his hands slowly up and down my back. "Well, I came up to tell you that we're ready to leave."

* * *

The car ride to the hospital felt as though it only took a minute, when it usually takes ten, maybe even fifteen if there's traffic. But...traffic isn't usually a problem in Midsomer.

I was silent the entire ten minutes up there, with my face pressed tot eh glass, staring at the trees and random houses we passed.

"Are you feeling alright?" Jerry asked quietly when I continued to stare out the window even after we'd parked. "We're here."

"I'm fine." I lied.

I was dreading this visit. I mean, I wanted to see my uncle, but, he just wasn't the same! I still loved him, but to see him in such a state...

I unclicked my seatbelt and climbed out of the car, took little Daniel's hand in mine when he reached for it, and followed our little group into the hospital. Hmmm...hospital. I scowled at the word as though it had said something innappropriate to me. I hate that place. However, I composed my expression to look calm and collected when we reached the elevator.

* * *

"There you go, Ben."

The tenseness in my body slowly went away when the nurse finally pulled the needle from my arm. Twice a day. Twice a day the nurse, whom I'd come to know as Jess, was supposed to stick a needle in me to dope me up on pain medicine.

"You should be feeling numb in no time." she chuckled as she pat the top of my hand.

"Thank you." I smiled weakly.

I looked up at the nurse as though I was seeing her for the first time, studying my 'caretaker' with curiousness in my eyes. Jess had caramel-colored hair that came to about the middle of her back, and was pulled back at her neck with a pale blue ribbon. Her eyes were also a pale blue, reminding me of ice crystals. She seemed to be an average woman's height, the top of her head reaching the tip of my nose. Her figure was very slim, and petite, with long, slender arms and legs.

Her brow creased with concern. "Are you feeling alright? You look like you're burning up.""

Her hand was cool on my heated forehead as she felt for fever. Her hand. Her hand was so soft, so gentle. A woman's touch. A touch just like Blake's. Loving, caring, concerned. Could a nurse feel so much for a patient she barely knew?

"Well," she said as she took her hand from my skin, "You're running fever."

Just for the sake of conversation, I asked, "Is taht bad?"

She smiled. "No. That's good. It means your body is fighting off infection. Here, I need you to sit up."

The slight pain and large amount of stiffness in my body caused me to wince, but was ignored for the most part, due to Jess's hands on my arms as she helped me sit up.

"Okay, deep breaths, Ben."

My breath hitched slightly when she laid her hand on my chest, the chestpiece of her stethoscope between her pointer and middle fingers to listen to my heartbeat. I regained my composure, however, and did as I was told.

She must have been satisfied with what she'd heard, because Jess smiled and put the stethoscope around her neck again, before rubbing the areas just below my jaw joints. "All set." she finally said. "How's the gun wound? Has it been bothering you lately? I've been told it's healing well."

"Fine." I said quietly. "It hasn't bothered me in...in a while."

Jess nodded and pat my hand before standing with a smile. "Good." she said. "I'll be back in a few hours with another shot for you. Now in the mean time, I believe you have visitors."

My eyes followed her until I could no longer see her, when another face appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, mate! Good to see you alive and awake!" Mike said softly as he came into the room.

A small smile pulled at my lips when Cora, Jerry, April, Daniel, and Blake all filed in the room after Mike, all of them looking happy to see me. Mike and Cora both took a seat by my bedside to right, while Blake too the chair to my left. April and Jerry sat on the couch shoved against the wall, just behind Blake, and April held Daniel in her lap.

"Have a nice nap?" Cora joked lightly.

I couldn't help but smile at that. "Yeah. Nice, long, uneasy nap. But good, other than that." It was then that I noticed the softly cooing little bundle being held securely in Cora's arms. I felt my eyes brighten a bit, and I reached out for the little toddler. "Who might this be?"

"Amber." Mike said proudly as the baby girl was esed into my arms. "Just a bit over a month old. Say hello to your Uncle Ben, Amber." Mike cooed softly, taking one of the infant's small hands in one of his larger ones.

I was surprised to find out just how much little Amber looked like her mother father. She looked like a clone of the two rolled into one! Beautiful, too. She stared up at me first with curiousness, then with confusion, and then frustration. I chuckled before passing her to her father. "I don't believe she liked her Uncle Ben."

"Exactly. She knows which sort to be around and which not to be around." Mike chuckled, tickling one of the infant's feet.

I only playfully scoffed and leaned back against the headboard. The medicine must have really been working fast, because my torso and legs already felt numb. However, I did feel a light weight press to my left hip, and felt something take my hand. Upon looking down, I found that Blake was half slumped over my mattress from her chair, the top of her head pressed lightly to my hip, and she gently held my hand in her own as she looked up at me from the corner of her eye.

I smiled weakly down at her and stroked her hair. "Are you tired?"

She only smiled up at me.

I mussed up her hair. "Are you not speaking anymore?"

Ah. That got a wider smile from her. "Just for now." she whispered.

I didn't reply to her soft words, but I did stroke her hair like an affectionate father. I guess she was stil feeling repsonsible for my condition. I would have to have a long talk with her when I got out of the hospital. Speaking of which..."I have good news."

She raised her eyebrows, signaling to me that she was listening.

"They're going to release me in a week. They're going to send a nurse with us, but you'll get to take me home."

Finally! I was finally able to bring out some of the Blake I knew and loved! Her beautifull deep blue eyes brightened so that she had that sparkle in them once more, and her smile was more at ease, and showed its truthful happieness in her eyes. She gave my hand a light aqueeze, and placed a kiss on my still healing fingers.

Her actions caused me to chuckle, and I claimed my hand back and resumed stroking her silky, chocolate-colored hair.

* * *

A satisfying calmness settled over me when Ben told me I'd be able to take him home in a week. I could make it up to him. I would be at his disposal, I would see to his every whin.

My happieness bubbled over, and I couldn't help but smile prettily for him and place a kiss on his still frail fingers as I made myself comfortable against his hip again. It surprised me a bit when he chuckled claimed his hand back, and stroked my hair.

His fingers seemed to find every good spot on my head, and I couldn't help but lean into his touch, close my eyes, and enjoy it. His voice, and all of ther other's voices, became a low, comforting hum in my ears, and I allowed a content sigh to pass my lips.

I must have enjoyed it all so much that it lulled me to sleep, because the room was empty when I opened my eyes again.

"Did you have a nice nap?" A happy, and at the same time amused voice asked me.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes slowly. "Where is everyone?" I asked my uncle groggily.

"They left. Well, except for Jerry." he smiled, motioning to the sleeping, lightly snoring figure on the couch.

I smiled as well, and turned back to my uncle. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

Ben's smile and eyes softened a bit, and he started stroking my hair again. "Cora siad you haven't slept that relaxed since she first me you. They just didn't have the hearts to wake you up, and neither did I."

I rolled my eyes and seized his hand, placing a kiss in his palm.

"Am I royalty all of a sudden?" he chuckled.

I smiled. "No. You're rubbish...But I'm going to treat you like royalty."

Ben was quiet for a moment, before cupping my cheek with the hand that I held. "It's not your fault, you know? I knew the risks when i took the job."

I put my hand over his and rubbed his knuckles with my thumb. "Yes it is, and I won't be convinced otherwise." I told him softly. "Now then. How do you feel today?" I asked with a happier note to my voice.

"Sore. Tired. The usual." he said casually, as though being in pain was a normal thing for him. "Happy to see you smiling again."

I nodded "Me too."

From behind me, I could hear Jerry waking from his nap, and then I felt strong hands rubbing my shoulders. "Ben." Came that silky voice. "Feeling alright?"

"Better." Ben chuckled. "Are you taking care of my niece?"

I chuckled when jerry didn't seem the least bit intimidated by Ben's protective, father-like voice.

"Yes, sir." he answered, his hands not once faultering on my shoulders. "She _is_ a lady, and she's been treated as such."

Ben smirked. "Smart lad. Keep it that way."

Jerry only chuckled. "Yes, sir. Now if you don't mind, I believe visiting hours are nearly up, and we need to go home."

Ben nodded. "Take care."

As we left the room, I couldn't help but stop and watch when a nurse entered his room. There was something strange about the way those two were interacting...

**Okay, some of you might think I've forgotten about this story, but I haven't. I apologize for not updating in so long, but I have excuses! School is very crazy around this time of the year. Preparing for big tests that can make or break you, getting tutoring for the big tests...Anyway. Hmm...What do you think of Ben's nurse? (hint hint) Lol! Please review and let me know! Thank you!**


	16. Mood Swing

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

I never thought I'd be happy to go to the hospital. Jerry, and even Mike had noticed the spring in my steps as we made our way up the hospital stairs, and had laughed about it. I, however, was in too good a mood to let anything annoy or irritate me, because I was taking my uncle home. To my godfather and boyfriend's amusement, I even did a small dance outside of the elevator while we waited for it!

"Darling, how much sugar did you eat this morning?" Jerry chuckled as I danced with him in the elevator.

"I haven't eaten anything!" I sang as I passed myself to Mike.

Mike only stood there and chuckled, so I just swung his hands from side to side and moved my feet.

"Ah! We're here!" I squeeked, bounding out of the elevator.

I could hear the two men laughing behind me, but like I said, I wasn't going to let anything bother me.

The nurse I'd seen a week prior was standing out in the hall when we reached Ben's door, and she smiled and motioned to Mike when she saw our little group. "You're Mike, yes?" she asked.

Mike nodded, and shook the woman's hand. "Constable Mike Williamson. Why do you ask?"

"Jess Taylor." she said, returning his handshake. "Ben is wide awake, he just needs help getting dressed."

"Oh." Mike chuckled.

Already knowing what Mike was going to say before he'd even turned to look at me, I removed the light-weight, black backpack from my back, which contained clothes for Ben, and handed it to him.

We were left in an awkward silence in the hallway when Mike entered Ben's room. Jerry, having nothing else to do with his hands, began to rub shoulders. The nurse and I, however, seemed to silently check each other out. Her expression was calm and collected as she looked me up and down, seeming to take in every detail of my skin, features, and clothing. _My_ exression, on the other hand, was more of a scowl as I looked her over in the same manner.

"You must be Ben's niece, right? He's told me a lot about you. Blair, is it?" she asked, holding her hand out.

"Blake." I said softly, shaking her hand lightly. "Good things, I hope?"

She smiled. "Yes, good things. He speaks very highly of you."

I smiled lightly, beginning to think that I shouldn't be so crude and suspicious to and of the nurse, when the door opened, completely deleting those thoughts. Out of the room came Mike and Ben; Ben in a wheelchair, and Mike pushing him. Ben was dressed in a plain white t-shirt, black sweatpants, and flip-flops. There was something about the way Ben's hair was all mussed up, something about how his skin appeared so pale, that made him appear really...frail. There was just something about the way he looked that really pulled at my heart-strings. I don't know what it was about him, but it made me want to shelter him, made me want to stay by his side like a faithful dog and make sure no more harm came to him.

My deep blue eyes met his tired, light brown ones, and there was nothing I could do to stop the small smile that pulled at the corners of my lips. His eyes brightened upon seeing my simple smile, and that's where everything went wrong. Ben's eyes shifted from mine to Jess's, and his tiny smile grew.

I looked over at the nurse with icey flames in my ocean blue eyes. How dare she! How dare she pat his shoulder, stealing his gaze from mine, and how dare she speak to him as though she knew him better than me! If one could glare daggars at people, then that woman would certainly be dead! I trailed behind the group, just boiling and glaring, wondering when I would explode. Wait. Since when did I have such a temper?

"Blake?"

My vile thoughts stopped upon hearing that silky voice in my ear, and a gentle touch to the elbow.

"Darling, what are you glaring at?" Jerry asked quietly, draping his arm around my waist.

"N-nothing." I muttered.

"You're stuttering." he stated.

"S-so!" I hissed.

"You only stutter when you're extremely angry." he pressed. "Why are you angry all of a sudden? You were practically skipping down the halls a moment ago!"

I sighed, and slowed my pace. "It's nothing." I said in yet another sigh. "I'm just being stupid."

"Let me detirmine that." he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear. "Now, what has your blood boiling?"

"I...I don't like that nurse." I grumbled. "And I don't like the way Ben looks at her...like a man that hasn't eaten in a month."

"You mean like the way I look at you every morning?" Jerry chuckled.

"Shut up!" I snapped beneath my breath. "I look awful in the mornings."

Jerry's arm tightened around my waist, and he rubbed small circles on my side with his pointer finger. "The way your hair hangs in a tangled mess around your face, your breath smells, and your pj's cling to you after you've tossed and turned all night? Mmmm, sexy." he murmered in a deep voice before taking a nip at my ear.

"Will you please!" I hissed a bit louder. "We're in public!"

"Oye! Are you two coming, or what?"

Mike's abrupt voice snapped me out of my thoughts and annoyance, causing me to realize we'd walked all the way out to the car. I also realized Ben was already in the passanger seat of the car, Jess was in the back seat, and Mike had just finished putting Ben's wheelchair in the trunk.

"Ladies first." Jerry smiled.

* * *

"She's been in there too long." I grumbled.

"Relax." Jerry quipped. "She's probably just checking his vital signs, you know, nurse stuff."

"Why are you so calm?" I asked in a clipped voice. "What if they're making out, or, something?"

I was taken by surprise when Jerry put his hand on the back of my neck and pressed his lips to mine. His tongue trespassed in my mouth, and in moments, I was gasping for air.

"Is there something so horrible about making out?" he smirked at my dazed expression.

I took a moment to compose myself before answering. "That's different." I grumbled. "He barely knows her!"

"Oh?" Jerry said, placing his hand atop mine on my knee. "I barely knew you when I kissed you the first time."

"I wasn't lying in a bed with the door closed." I sneered. "I can't take this anymore! I'm going to see why she's been in there so long."

In a huff I shoved myself from the living room couch and got to my feet, making my way to Ben's bedroom door in a few large strides, careful not to be loud once I reached my destination. I opened the door as gently as I could, trying not to make any noise, and peeked in the small crack. Jess appeared to be sitting on the edge of Ben's mattress, one hand gently grasping the cradle of his right arm, and the other holding a needle.

"Just relax your arm," she soothed, "And it will make the medicine flow quicker."

It was then that I realized Ben's expression was twisted into one of pain as he laid there, his face red, his breathing labored. I suddenly felt bad about what I'd said prior to getting up, and felt silly for being angry. All this time, Jess had been doing what she could to ease my uncle's pain.

"I know it stings," Jess said softly, "But I'm almost done. You're doing well, Ben." A few more moments passed, and the nurse finally pulled the needle from Ben's arm. "There, now. You should be numb in no time."

Ben offered her a weak smile, and relaxed against his pillows. When Jess began packing her medicine and needles, I took it as my que to enter the room, and made it to my uncle's bedside with haste. Being closer to him allowed me a better look at his eyes, but what I saw bothered me. That familiar sparkle that I'd come to know so well in those beautiful, loving eyes was dimmed with pain, and exhaustion.

He observed me quietly as I knelt down by his bed, and offered me a fake smile. "None of that, now." he whispered.

I furrowed my brows, wondering what he meant, when he reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. When had the tears started up? Had they begun when I'd spied on him from the doorway? Had they begun when I'd knelt down by the bed? There was no way to tell. I did forget about my tears, however, when Ben closed his eyes and allowed his hand to slowly droop from my face to the mattress.

"Uncle?" I whispered feebly.

Ben didn't move.

"Ben?" I said a bit more urgently as I squeezed his hand.

"It's alright." Jess said.

I looked up to find the woman standing next to me, and I flinched when she laid her hand on my shoulder.

"I gave him a sedative."

I felt my anger stirring in me once again as the nurse looked on at me with pity in her eyes. I got to my feet slowly, and stood to my full height. Of course, me being as short as I am, I only managed to make the top of my head reach the tip of her nose. "A sedative? Was that really necessary?" I growled.

"I think so." she answered honestly. "The stress from being moved from the hospital to here was causing him more pain than he usually undergoes on a daily basis."

"I've been in worse conditions than him, Miss, and I've never been sedated before." I hissed.

"No offence, Blake," she started in a softer tone. "But you grew up in a rough environment, where abuse and pain came daily for you. Ben wasn't raised that way, he isn't used to being in so much pain."

"How would you know?" I growled, suddenly feeling outraged. "You don't know my uncle! You're talking like you grew up with him!"

"Miss Jones, I did what I thought was best." Jess said in a much quieter tone than she'd used prior. "He was in pain, his temperature was rising, and the pain was affecting his respiratory. That's the best thing I thought to do."

"Is anything wrong in here?"

Both of us turned, startled, at the sound of Mike's curious, yet at the same time concerned voice.

Mike was standing in the doorway with his brows furrowed, his light green eyes searching each of our faces. "Is everything alright?" he asked again.

"Dandy." I muttered.

Mike made sure to get clear out of my way as I stormed past him, and I was certain he could feel the anger rolling off my body when I accidentally bumped his arm. Jerry wore the same expression when I stormed past him in the living room, and I made sure to give him a stern look as I told him not to follow me.

I was in the process of making my way down the drive when I nearly ran into DCI Barnaby, who grasped me by the upper arms when I nearly fell down from trying to come to such a sudden stop. "Careful there!" he chuckled softly, then, seeing the expression on my face before I could hide my scowl, said, "Are you alright?"

I used his shoulders to steady myself, before taking a deep breath to calm down. "I apologize, Mr. Barnaby. I wasn't watching where I was going. Please excuse my bluntness, but, why are you here?" Then, cocking my head and furrowing my brows in suspicion, "You don't have bad news, do you? You seem to have that trend around me."

Barnaby chuckled, taking my joke sportingly. "No! No, Blake. I've just come to visit your uncle. Is he feeling well?"

I sighed. There was just something in the old man's kind, blue eyes that seemed to have a calming effect on me. The tension in my body seemed to evaporate, and I allowed myself to relax. "He's been better, but he's a bit stressed from being moved from the hospital. The nurse just sedated him, but if you hang out for about an hour, maybe not even that long, I'm certain you'll get to see him awake. He's been wanting to see you." I smiled. "Do you have time to hang around? Mike, Jerry, and the nurse are here, so you could chat a bit and have a snack while you're waiting."

The old policeman seemed to think for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, I believe I do. I can do just that." he started to take a step past me, but then stopped in mid-step, as though he'd remembered something. "Are you going somewhere?"

I furrowed my brows at him, and nodded. "Yes, sir. I was going for a walk...I have quite a bit on my mind."

Barnay nodded. "I understand. But, you need to stay close, and take someone with you."

I felt dread stirring within me. There was only one reason he'd want me to stay close, and take an escort. "He's here, isn't he?" I asked softly.

"Yes." he said in an equally soft tone. "We've traced his hit pattern, and we have good reason to believe he's back here, or coming back here." Then, after a short pause, he asked, "Are you alright?"

I shook my head, trying to make myself come out of my daze. "Yes, sir." I said numbly.

"You've gone pale." he said with a bit of sympathy.

I shook my head again. "Uhm...you know, I think I'll just stay in the backyard...near the back door...in view of you and Constable Williamson." I chuckled nervously.

Barnaby offered a kind smile, and started for the house again. "Smart girl."

I offered another nervous chuckle, and turned to follow Mr. Barnaby until we went our seperate ways; he to the front door, and me to the backyard. But as I shut the gate behind me, I couldn't help but pay a small amount of attention to the bad feeling in the gut of my stomach and the back of my mind. Something didn't feel right.

**Uh oh! Could this be the return of our 'hit and run' man? Could the tension between Jess and Blake get any worse? Thank you to everyone that reviewed! Please review again, and I'll post as soon as I can! Thank you!**


	17. Happy and Hurting Hearts

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

**Author's Note: **Hello! I'm sorry for taking so long to get this posted. I was out of town for nearly all of my Spring Break, and then there's the fact that I had SEVERAL DIFFERENT ideas as to what this chapter could be about. It has taken me quite a bit of thinking to decide on which idea to go with, and I hope you enjoy it just as you have the other chapters. Now that I've said that, er, written it, rather, I'm now rambling. Sorry. I'll just shut up now. Please enjoy!

* * *

"Blake, wake up."

Someone was shaking me. Someone, who had the nerve to disturb one of my unusually pleasant dreams, was shaking me. I couldn't help but growl loudly in the base of my throat at this. For once, I'd gotten a decent, good night's sleep for the first time in who knew how long, and someone dared to interrupt it. The reason for this rare, good bit of sleep? That bloody bastard that had very nearly taken my uncle from me, and was now after my life and my boyfriend's. Ever since I'd gotten word that he was back in the, as I'd discovered, not so quiet village of Midsomer, I'd barely gotten a wink.

"What do you want?" I hissed, forcing my eyes to open and look at the clock. It was half past seven in the morning.

"That boy is here. That Williamson boy. He's actually in the house." Jess told me with a trace of worry in her voice.

"He's my boyfriend, lady." I sneered. "Of course he's here...he always is."

True enough. Every waking spare moment Jerry had, he was by my side. The reason for this? Not just the fact that we're besotted with each other, but the fact that ever since I'd heard the murderer was in the same village as me and my loved ones, I hadn't bothered to feed myself, could barely sleep, lost too much weight in a short amount of time to be healthy, and my skin had transposed to a sickly, pallid color from lack of sunlight and too much stress.

"But he's actually here, in the house. He came in without knocking." she pressed.

Good grief. What was she trying to say? Had she woken me up to try to tell me my boyfriend was being rude by allowing himself into mine and Ben's home? I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and sat up with a scowl on my face. "That's why you woke me up? Look, Jess, I gave him a key to the door."

Without allowing the nurse a chance to reply, I literally threw the sheets from my body, revealing my black pajama bottoms and tank top, and stumbled out of my bedroom and into the livingroom. I found Jerry leaning against the back of one of the black leather couches, his arms crossed against his chest in a relaxed manner as he waited.

His ink-black hair seemed sort of mussed up, having fallen down across his dark, intelligent eyebrows, and slightly into his emerald eyes, which gazed at me softly. His lips were pulled gently into a smile, and he straightened up to a full standing position, which drew my attention to his clothes.

He'd opted to wear a simple black t-shirt tucked into a pair of faded blue jeans, a worn leather belt resting atop the denim and his hips. I couldn't help but note the blue jeans were nice and form-fitting from Jerry's hips to his knees, where they then seemed a bit more loose, spreading lazily over the heel and tongue of his leathery black shoes by the time they'd reached the hem. A thin black zip-up hoodie rested lightly on his broad shoulders, and hung limply against his sides because he'd left it unzipped.

His appearance alone made me feel loads better, and I walked to him, greeting him with a light kiss to the lips.

"Mmm, morning breath." he chuckled so softly that only I'd heard what he'd said.

"I don't like this." Jess told us in an irritated voice from my bedroom door. "He could at least knock."

I turned with blue flames in my eyes. "I gave him a key, he doesn't need to knock. He's family, and welcome here anytime."

Jess only shook her head and made for the kitchen. "I still don't like it. You two act like a married couple."

"What, are you my mother, or something? Oh, wait, she abandoned me when I was barely walking." I growled.

"I'm well aware of your past, Blake-"

"Good." I interrupted. "Don't remind me of it."

A firm, yet gentle hand grasped me by the elbow. "Calm down, sweetheart." Jerry whispered soothingly in my ear. "It's alright. I know you don't like her, but stay calm."

I inhaled softly through my nose, a feeble attempt at calming myself, and strode leisurely to my bedroom with Jerry's hand in my own. I made sure to glare into Jess's glare before promptly shutting and locking the door, and turned to Jerry.

"You've got to get that under control." he said quietly, placing himself lightly on my bed as he crossed his arms again.

"What?" I yawned.

"Your annoyance and temper towards Jess. She's not that bad, you know? I've watched her interact with Ben and my family. She does care about you, by the way; I heard her mention it to dad a few days ago."

I rolled my eyes and walked to the closet, pulling the doors open gently to view my clothing. "Don't start. I don't want to talk about her."

After staring at all of my clothing for a few moments I pulled out a navy-blue t-shirt and worn jeans, and grabbed my bra from the closet doorknob before making my way to my bathroom.

"Some food might make you feel better." Jerry suggested before I shut the door, obstructing his view of my stripping. "Why don't I grab you something from the kitchen?"

"No thanks, I'm not hungry." I called back, covering my underwear-clad body with the clothing I'd selected. "You should know better than to ask." I chuckled.

"I know." he sighed. "That's not healthy, you know? You need to eat."

I didn't answer him, I only began brushing my hair.

My silence was answered with another sigh, and a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said quietly.

The door opened slowly, and Jerry peaked around it, as though he was making sure I was decent. Once this was confirmed, he came to a stop behind me, watching my actions. I'd pulled my hair back in a low ponytail by this time, and had begun brushing my teeth.

"Did you hear me?" he whispered.

"Yeah." I replied after spitting out the excess toothpaste. "Crystal clear." I put the toothbrush away and rinsed my mouth with water, and only then did I actually stop to look at myself in the mirror.

"Look at yourself, darling." he murmured, lifting my shirt up a bit to reveal my belly, "You've gotten skinny."

"You're skinny." I smirked.

"But I eat, and go outside. This just...you're worrying me." he whispered, lowering my shirt again.

I remained silent, and studied him in the mirror. He did the same with me, and put his hands on my upper arms, rubbing up and down.

"I can't get you to eat, you refuse to go out for your daily walks, and it takes me longer than an hour to lull you to sleep at night. Mum and dad are even worried about you, darling. I don't know what to do anymore."

I leaned back against him, allowing him to engulf me in his arms, and sighed. "You're not the only one."

He nodded. "I know. I know you're scared, I know you don't know what to do anymore, but, darling, you can't let this take over your life!"

I didn't answer him. I couldn't think of anything to talk about, to be honest. What was there to talk about? The weather? No. The weather had been the same for a while; overcast and gloomy. I only studied our reflections in the mirror, finally meeting Jerry's gaze.

Jerry only sighed, and loosened his embrace. "How is Ben holding up? He's been asleep the past few days I've been here."

"He's much better. His bullet wound doesn't really pain him anymore." I smiled feebly. "Speaking of Ben...I should see if he's up yet." Then, adding a bit of annoyance in my tone. "Keep the nurse occupied, please. I haven't been able to have a moment of privacy with my own uncle because of her 'concerns for his health'. I want to be alone with him for a few minutes."

Jerry shook his head a bit, but squeezed my shoulders none the less. "I'll see what I can do."

I nodded with a soft 'thanks', and made for the bedroom door. "Go out ahead of me so she'll see you first and not me."

As we went out into the living room, I could feel Jess's eyes on me. But, Jess soon became distracted with Jerry sitting down at the dinner table across from her, and I smiled as I quietly entered Ben's room. I found Ben sitting on his bed with his legs over the edge, shirtless, looking back at me.

I smiled, and went to him. "How do you feel?" I asked softly as I put my hands on his shoulders.

He put his arms around my waist, offering me a weak smile. "I feel better today."

Silence fell over us as we took each other in, studying each other's scars. Ben's front, back and arms had muliple scars, though none of them were as severe as the ones visible on my arms and legs.

I traced a few of them on his shoulders, before tracing the long, jagged one on his right cheek, where the stitches had held it together. "No pain today?" I murmured.

He chuckled softly and shook his head. "I'm still sore; I will be for a while." Then after a short pause, "What was all that chatter I heard in the living room?"

Sighing, I waked to the closet in the upper right corner of the room. "It was nothing, don't worry about it."

It was Ben's turn to sigh. "You weren't getting along with Jess, were you?"

"Nope." I stated bluntly, pulling out one of his white undershirts. "Is this what you were getting up to get when I walked in?"

"Yes. Blake, I don't understand why you don't like her. Is she treating you differently behind my back? I'll deal with it if she is." he said seriously.

"No, she's not treating me differently. Put your arms up." I said when I was in front of him. I easily slid the undershirt over his arms and head, and straightened it down his torso. "I just...don't like her."

Ben furrowed his brows as he used my shoulders to pull himself to his feet. "Why, Blake?"

"Because!" I mumbled, "She's too nice. 'Can I get you something? Let me get that. How are you? Can I buy you dinner? Why don't I fix you something? Here, let me help you with that.' She's too nice!"

Ben ignored the glare he recieved when he chuckled at my animated quoting. "Some people are like that, love! Mike is like that, and you don't treat Mike that way." he smiled as he ruffled my hair.

I playfully swatted his hands hands away and pulled him gently into a hug. "Mike is different. Mike has a feeling of authority about him that automatically demands respect. jess just seems happy-go-lucky all the time." Came my muffled explanation against his chest.

Ben was quiet for a moment, and I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was thinking. "Are you going to be suspicious of everyone that is kind to you?" he murmured in a hopeless tone.

"Can you blame me?" I quipped. "Remember that lengthy abuse report at the police station?"

"Yes, I remember. But Jess is going to be with us for a while-"

"Unfortunately." I mumbled.

"Blake." Ben said in his 'no nonsense tone', then sighed again. "I wish you would try to get aong with her. I really like her, you know?"

"I know." I said quietly.

Ben started to ask me another question when a knock sounded on the door. "Come in." Ben called.

The door opened to reveal Jess, a concerned look on her face. "DCI Barnaby is here to speak to you, Ben."

I reluctantly released Ben from my embrace and followed him out into the living room, where Mr. Barnaby and Jerry were sitting on the couches. Ben and I took a seat on the couch opposite of Barnaby, and waited for him to speak.

"Good afternoon, sir." Ben said softly, breaking the silence.

"Jones, Blake." he nodded. "I'm afraid I have bad news."

Well, _that _statement didn't surprise me, the man seemed to have a bad news trend whenever I was near him.

"Go on." Ben replied.

"The man that tried to have you murdered, who's name is Paul Johnson, was spotted very close to this area last night."

Okay, this news startled me a bit more, and...wait. When had I grabbed Ben's hand? How long had I been holding his, and he mine?

"What do we do?" I whispered to him.

"With your permission," Barnaby continued, apparently having not heard me, "We'd like to set up a stake-out around your home. We have good reason to believe he's going to come here tonight."

"How did he find out where we live?" Jess asked nervously.

"Simple." Ben replied, turning to look at her as she took a seat on the other side of him. "The local news paper most likely put my picture in the paper and the story along with it of how I'd been shot. The murderer then probably looked up my name in a phone book and got my address."

"Precisely, Jones, which is why we want to set up a stake-out. I take it we have your permission?" Barnaby smiled.

"Yes, sir." Ben nodded.

* * *

"You really should get some sleep."

"You've said that...several times."

"Well, there you have it. I rarely repeat myself unless it's of importance."

I sighed, and placed a ribbon in my book before closing it to lay it on my nightstand, then looked to Jerry, who was knealing beside my bed. He smiled tiredly up at me as he laid one of his arms across my legs.

"You should have gone home before it got dark, you're stranded here now."

Again, he only smiled. "I don't see anything wrong with being stranded here."

I rolled my eyes. "You shouldn't be in here, either. Ben made it very clear that you would be sleeping on the couch."

"But I'm not asleep, am I? Neither are you, so I don't see what the problem is."

"You know Ben," I warned. "He can be strict and mean when he wants to be."

"Again, I don't see anything wrong with what we're doing now. We're talking, and I'm not even on the bed."

"You're pushing it." I chuckled.

"Exactly! I'm pushing the rules, but I'm not breaking them."

"Goodness." I mumbled, easing myself down to a laying position. "You certainly don't miss a beat."

"I know." he smirked. "Now go to sleep, you need it."

I took a moment to study the bags beneath Jerry's eyes, and the exhaustion in his emeralds. "_I _need sleep?"

"I'll go to bed as soon as you do." he murmured, still smiling.

I sat up again and tossed the covers from my body, revealing the black tank-top and pj bottoms that I'd been wearing earlier in the day, and stood.

"What now?" he groaned. "Go to sleep!"

"I will...after I get a drink of water."

I walked quietly to the kitchen, nothing but my feet padding on the tile making sound in the quiet house. It didn't take me long to find a clean glass and fill it up with tap water. Of course, I didn't drink all of it, because I was too busy looking out the window to see if I could spot any of the officers I'd seen earlier, but to no avail. Afterwards, I poured the remaining liquid in the sink before setting the glass next to the faucet, and began walking back to my room when I heard voices coming from Ben's. With furrowed brows I walked to his slightly ajar door, and peeked in.

"Are you sure they're out there?"

Hm...sounded like Jess was a bit nervous.

"Absolutely." Came Ben's assuring voice. "They're out there, you have no reason to worry."

Jess continued peeking through the blinds of one of the windows, trying to make out the shadowy figures hiding out in the darkness, while Ben stood back a few feet watching her. He stepped silently closer, and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Please don't worry." he whispered. "I'm here."

Jess turned around, smiling gently at him. "I'm glad. I wouldn't be if you weren't. I would probably be at home...alone. It gets very depressing there, you know? I'm all alone in that large house. Ever since my husband left me for someone else, I've hated going back there, every day."

Ben put his arms around her to bring her closer to him. "He was abusing you." he said softly. "I don't blame you."

"I can't thank you enough for everything you've been doing for me. It's my job to take care of you, but you've been allowing me to live under your roof, and I'm happier here than I ever was over there."

Ben smiled, and pulled her even closer to him, leaving no space between them. "You deserve this, don't thank me for it."

I watched as Jess only smiled as she cupped Ben's cheeks in her hands, gently pulling his head down. She kissed him gently as she allowed her hands to slide down so she could wrap her arms gently around his neck, before she seemed to deepen the kiss. Ben returned it as his hands slid slowly up and down her back, and I thought I could hear small groans coming from his throat.

It was right there that I realized Ben was completely and blissfully happy. I watched them sadly, wondering if he would need me anymore...or was it me that needed him? I knew I should be happy for him, but on the other hand, I felt as though he was being taken away from me. I guess that explains why I'd been so...malicious toward the woman, because I'd felt she was taking someone dear from me. To think I'd been treating her that way when she too had been abused! Lonliness? Depression? Abuse? I knew exactly how she felt, and I felt ashamed of my past actions toward her. But she was happy with Ben, and Ben was happy with her. There was no reason for me to stay in the picture, because he wouldn't need me anymore.

With this in mind, I walked heavy-hearted back to my room, where I found Jerry sleeping soundly atop the covers on my bed. I shrugged my shoulders lightly, forgetting the rules that Ben had laid down for us earlier, and turned the light out before easing myself beside Jerry, only I was beneath the covers. I curled up in his arms without waking him, and fell asleep wondering if I would be needed anymore, if I was really worth all the trouble the police were going through.

**Aw! Poor Blake! Hopefully she won't do anything stupid because she feels so alone and un-needed... And we still have Paul to worry about, too! Thank you to everyone that reviewed! I appreciate it, and it motivates me! Please review again if you want to know what happens next!**


	18. Running Away

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

The morning after the night prior was quiet. Eerily quiet. The usual sound of people leaving their homes, driving to work wasn't there, I couldn't hear the neighbors' children laughing and plaing the their yards, no dogs were barking at the usual stray cat that wandered about the neighborhood, not even the sound of birds chirping and singing; it was only deafening silence.

Jerry was sleeping peacfully beside me, his arms still around me as he dreamed. I smiled weakly at his sleeping form before turning my mind back to other matters, such as Ben, and slid myself slowly and quietly out of Jerry's arms and my bed, somehow managing to not wake him in the process.

I didn't bother with switching my pj's for day clothing, but went to the kitchen instead to satisfy my growling stomach. I was surprised to find Ben sitting at the kitchen bar alone, sipping a glass of orange juice.

"Why are you up so early?" I murmured.

Ben's neck popped when he'd turned to face me as though I'd startled him, and chuckled as he massadged it. "I woke up around five and couldn't go back to sleep." he answered softly.

Upon looking at the clock mounted above the kitchen door, which led to the backyard, I found it was a quarter 'till eight. "You've been up for a while. Do you feel alright?"

"Yeah." he smiled. "Just sore."

"Are you certain?" I asked as I grabbed a box of cerial from the pantry.

"Yes." he answered slowly. "Maybe I should be asking _you _that. You're being awfully somber."

Despite the concern in his voice I only nodded slightly, and took a feeble bite of dry cerial from my hand. "I'm fine." I murmured.

"You don't look fine." he pressed. "Something is bothering you."

I remained silent, the only sound the in the room being my chewing. I swallowed loudly, and chanced a look at him.

"You can tell me, you know?" he said softly with a small smile.

Slowly, I walked around the bar, and without hesitation I wrapped my arms tightly around him while I pressed my face to his neck. "I love you." I said with as much love and seriousness as I could muster in a whisper. "I _love _you so much."

Ben seemed a bit taken aback, at first. In all the time I'd lived with Ben I'd never actually voiced those words, I'd always shown it in my actions. Despite his surprise, though, he embraced me back just as fiercely. "I love you, too."

"I'm sorry." I whispered against his neck. "I'm so sorry I'm the way I am."

I could feel the slight movement of his brows furrowing against the side of my head. "What do you mean?"

It was around that moment that Jess walked out of the guestroom, saving me from having to explain. It seemed almost harsh when I released Ben, because I'd released him very quickly, as though he'd scorned me. It had felt harsh, anyway.

"Good morning." she smiled after she closed her door.

Huh. After seeing their actions last night, I'd figured she'd slept in Ben's room. Perhaps the two have more morals than I'd thought?

"Morning." Ben replied, though his voice had sounded like he was trying to solve a puzzle.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, apparently having heard the difference in Ben's voice.

After a few moments of silence, I realized they were both staring at me. "What?" I grumbled.

"Where is Jerry?" Jess asked suddenly.

I got a pointed look from Ben when he heard her say that. "Yes, Blake, where is he?"

I stood there, silent, not believing how quickly the mood and events had changed. "My room." I finally answered.

Ben's eyes hardened. "Why is he in your room?"

"He fell asleep." I said irritably. Great. He was siding with Jess now.

"I thought I made the rules perfectly clear last night, Blake!" he said, obviously angry. "You sleep in the same room, he doesn't come over anymore."

"Oh, come on!" I exploded. "We didn't do anything! Do you really have _that little _faith in me, Ben? We were up talking, I left to get a drink, and when I went back, he was asleep. I was upset about something, and not thinking, and fell asleep almost quite literally after I laid down." My pulse was racing, and I could tell that my temperature had risen from my anger.

"Ever since Jess came into the picture, you've changed! You hardly notice me anymore, because you're too busy drooling over her!" I lowered my voice slightly, allowing my hurt to show through. "I've been hurting, Ben. Have you even noticed that? I've stopped feeding myself, I've lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time, and I'm nearly as pale as a sheet! That cerial, what little bit of it I actually ate, is the first thing I've eaten in quite awhile." My voice volume dropped even more until my voice was just a murmur. "But it's okay, because you're happy with her. I get the message, I know when I don't belong in the picture anymore."

I pivoted and walked away on that note, not wanting to listen or care about the excuses Ben tried to come up with as I made my way to my bedroom door. I flung it open only to find Jerry standing there, his hand outstretched as though he was just about to grab the doorknob. "Move." I grumbled as I pulled him out of my room by his shirt. I slammed the door behind me and locked it, ignoring Ben's pleas as he banged on it. It was too late for his excuses, I didn't want to hear them.

I was at my closet in a few angry strides, stripping all the while, and covered myself with a black, long-sleeved shirt and black cargo pants. Black socks and tennis shoes completed my outfit, and I reached for my old, ratty backpack from when I'd lived in that dump of a home, and began tossing in whatever I thought I would need. I tossed in at least two changes of clothes, deoderent, a hairbrush, money, and a book to keep me occupied.

I tied my hair back in a low ponytail before putting on a black jacket and my backpack, and took a final look around my room. I certainly wouldn't be forgetting it soon. It was where I'd recieved my first 'I love you' from Ben, it was where I'd healed from my bullet wound, it was where I'd forgotten most of my fears. I would miss it. I decided to write out a little note for Ben before I left, and placed it on my bed before I unlocked the door so he could find it later. Then, with a defiant sigh, I climbed out of my bedroom window.

The air was cold against my face, neck and hands when I finally managed to manuver myself out of the window, and for a moment I considered going back inside for something warm, or at least a raincoat. _"No."_ I told myself. _"This may be your only chance to sneak out."_ With this in mind I started down the sidewalk, assuring myself I was doing the right thing.

* * *

My stomach sounded like a motorboat. I'd been walking for at least three hours, and I just couldn't ignore my hunger! I sighed. Maybe if I just stopped at a gas station and ot a bag of crisps, and perhaps a bottle of water, I could control my hunger for a few hours, or until I got some real food.

Well, I didn't find a gas station, but I did come upon a nice little pub. "The Gray Rabbit." I read. It looked clean, and there weren't many cars in the car park, so I went in. The pub was neat, clean and dim on the inside. Round wooden tables were distanced reasonably, but filled the room one the less. It seemed to have an ocean theme to as wel, with fish, fish nets, orars, and other such things mounted on the walls.

"Blake?"

_Sigh._ Can I not get away from anyone? Who could be calling me, anyway? I only knew a few people in Midsomer.

Barnaby seemed to come out of nowere, his blue eyes shining with slight confusion. "Why are you here? Where is Jones?" It was then that he noticed my backpack, and how sweaty my shirt, skin and hair was.

"I may as well tell you." I mumbled. "I've run away. He's happy, I don't see any reason for me to stick around anymore. I won't let you take me back, either." I added with an edge to my voice.

Barnaby held his hands up defensively. "I won't take you back. But-"

My stomach growled loudly, and I winced as I clutched at it.

"It's nearly time for lunch." he chuckled. "Why don't I take you to my place? Joyce should have something fixed by now."

I backed away a few feet. "I know that trick. As soon as I set foot in your car, you'll take me right back to Ben."

"No, no, I won't. I promise." he smiled.

My stomach growled again, and seemed to shrink back against my other internal organs. "Fine," I winced. "I'll go with you."

Barnaby only smiled as he led me out to his car. We got in silently, and for a few minutes the ride was silent too, until my curiosity took over.

"Who's Joyce?" I asked.

"My wife. She stays home most of the time, unless she's doing volunteer work." he answered casually.

"Does she cook well?"

At this question, Barnaby only chuckled.

* * *

"Joyce! I'm home...for a bit."

The Barnaby household seemed to have a warm, comfortable feeling to it, and was very neat and tidy. The house was also filled with the aroma of food...some sort of soup, or stew, to be specific. Eagerly I followed Barnaby to the kitchen, where a slim, blond woman waited.

"Joyce," Barnaby started. "This is Blake, Ben's niece. She'll be staying with us for a few days."

I furrowed my brows, but Barnaby only smiled as he went to examine what was cooking in the large, silver pot on the stove top.

"Blake." Joyce nodded, smiling, "I've heard a lot about you."

I winced. "Is that good, or bad?"

"Good." she chuckled. "Are you hungry? I've made some lamb and vegtable stew."

I didn't have to answer, because around the time Joyce got the words out of her mouth Barnaby had placed a bowl of the stuff on the table, and motioned to a chair as he pulled it out. "Go ahead, Joyce will take your bag to one of the spare rooms."

I wanted to disagree, to tell them I could take my own bag to the room I'd be staying, that they needn't go to the trouble, but Joyce was already standing in front of me, looking at me expectantly with a smile. Therefore, I shrugged my backpack from my shoulders, and placed one of the ratty straps in her waiting hands. Barnaby was already sitting at the head of the table by the time this little exchange was over, his own bowl of stew before him.

"Go on." he said, once again motioning to the waiting chair to his right. "Sit, eat."

I sat down as slowly as I could, but my hand wouldn't follow the same order. It grabbed the spoon as soon as my bum was in the chair and began spooning lamb, stew, and vegtables in my mouth as quickly as I could swallow. And oh, how good that stew tasted! The brownish liquid was thick and creamy, and the meat and vegtables were cooked to what I'd say was perfection. It was the first real food I'd eaten in longer than two weeks, and tasted like a gift from Heaven.

"We have more."

I stopped my frenzied eating to look up at Barnaby, who seemed to be wearing an amused, and at the same time astounded expression on his face.

"Stew." he said. "We have more stew, you don't have to eat that fast, you'll make yourself sick."

I realized then just how quickly I'd been eating, and how I seemed to have a bit of stew dribbling down my chin. Almost mechanically, I reached for a napkin while keeping my eyes on Barnaby, cleaned myself up, and then went about eating in a slower, more refined manner.

* * *

"The phone is ringing."

"I know that."

"It could be important."

_Sigh._

"It could be Ben."

It was amazing just how well I could hear Joyce and Barnaby from my room. I'd learned a lot of things about them already, and actually got entertainment out of listening to some of their conversations. Joyce would tell Barnaby a few things about her day, or give commentary about the program they were watching, and Barnaby would simply come up with something rather obvious, dismissive, or cheeky to answer with. I laid quietly in my temporary new bed, waiting to see what he would say next.

"Hello?"

Well, that was simple.

"Yes, Jones, I have seen her. Yes, she's perfectly fine, I brought her right to my home. Yes, she's been under our supervision since then. Where? A pub quite a few miles from your home. Yes, Jones, I'm quite certain. Relax, lad! Yes, she's perfectly fine, and no, you don't have to come get her tonight. Alright, Jones. It's not a problem. Bye."

Hm. It certainly seemed like it had taken Ben a while to call Barnaby. Had it really taken him that long to find my note? I rolled over as I thought this over, mulling ideas around in my head. Had he really waited that long, thinking he was giving me plenty of space, or did he not care because he was distracted with something or someone else? I didn't really have that much time to think on it, because footsteps brought me back to reality.

The mattress shifted slightly. "He's worried about you."

Ah, Barnaby. I continued to lay with my back facing him. "Is he?" I asked in a detached tone.

"Yes, quite. He said he started to get worried when you didn't come out of your room for a while, and drove around a bit when he found you weren't anywhere around the house. He just called me."

"Sorry." I murmured. "I know I'm not worth all this trouble."

"And why do you think that?"

"I'm just not. He has Jess now, he doesn't need me. I'm just something that happened when there was too much alcohol in the house...and now I'm just the remnants and result of a person that lived with an alcoholic. I'm nothing."

A large hand fell gently on my shoulder. "No. Not to Ben. You're much more than that to Ben." he said softly.

"I love him so much." I whispered. "That's why I left."

"He'll be here tomorrow, you can discuss it with him. He's a very understanding lad."

"Perhaps." I murmured before falling silent.

Barnaby sighed, squeezed my shoulder, and lifted himself from the mattress. "We'll be in the livingroom if you need us."

"Goodnight."

The silence was sealed when the door closed with a soft click. With a sigh I sat up and walked to the window, before jumping back a foot or two. There, in the darkness of the street, was a tall, blond man, his hard eyes seemingly piercing into my own.

**Uh oh! This can't be good! Please review! I didn't get many for the previous chapter, and it was a bit discouraging, because I'm shirking my school work for you to get these chapters written! So, please review, I really, really appreciate it, and it motivates me! Thank you!**


	19. Torn in Two

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

I sat at the dinner table, frozen, staring out of the glass doors of the kitchen. I'd been there since I'd seen Paul, because I was, for some reason, unable to move. To be honest, I'd come down to the kitchen so that if Paul broke in, he'd come for me first, giving the Barnaby's a chance to get out of the house.

"Good morning, Blake!" Joyce said as she entered the kitchen. "You're up early."

I didn't answer. I was unable to answer. When I didn't answer, Joyce only shook her head and went about the kitchen, cooking. It wasn't long before a plate with food on it was placed in front of me.

"Good morning ladies!" Barnaby said cheerfully. The two greeted with a brief kiss, and Barnaby took a seat at the head of the table. "Blake." he nodded.

"Blake? Blake, you haven't touched your food. Is it not good?"

"Don't answer that if you value your life." Barnaby chuckled under his breath.

"Blake?" Joyce said again, waving her hand in front of my face.

I didn't move. I couldn't move. I felt like I had no control over my arms and legs. I was petrified, frozen to my chair.

"Blake?" Barnaby asked, now just as concerned as his wife.

It was so strange how I could hear them, but I couldn't move or react. I just stared, terrified, at those glass doors.

"She's as pale as a sheet!" Joyce said with a bit of panick in her voice. "Is she..?"

"No." Barnaby asnwered quickly as he got out of his chair. "She's breathing." he pulled me and my chair away from the table, and stood in front of me as he shook my shoulders roughly and pat my face. "Get me a glass of water!"

The water was like a potion that shook me from my frozen state, because I came right out of that trance when the cold liquid kissed the skin of my face and a bit of my hair. I sucked air into my lungs as though I'd been holding my breath for hours, and lept from my seat as though I'd been shocked by high voltage. I clutched Barnaby's shoulders to keep myself on my feet, and Barnaby had to grip my upperarms to ensure that I wouldn't fall flat on my back.

"M-my legs feel like jello!" I forced out.

Barnaby lowered me back into my chair, but didn't let go of my arms. "Are you alright?"

"Hu-huh." I squeeked.

"What happened? What's the matter?" he asked.

"P-Paul! I saw him!"

He became even more serious than he already had been, and he gripped my arms harder. "Where? Where did you see him?"

"In the street, in front of this house...last night." I murmured shakily.

"Last night?"

"Yes! last night! I came down here, sat down, and this is the first time I've moved! I was petrified!"

Barnaby looked quickly to his wife before releasing me to grab his suit jacket and coat. "I need to call in backup, and see what I can do from there."

"No!" I shouted as I jumped to my feet, hugging Barnaby's arm tihghtly to my body. "You can't go out there! It's dangerous!"

Barnaby gave me a bewildered look before he peeled me from his arm. "It's my job, Blake, I'll be alright."

"But..."

"Ah ah! It's okay, stay in the house. I'll be fine."

I watched sadly as he walked away, talking on his mobile.

* * *

"I'm not worth all this trouble."

"Oh, don't say that." Joyce smiled. "You're completely worth it."

The place was swarming with police officers, includingBarnaby, inside and out. Men and woman officers were guarding the doors, watching the windows, and patrolling the entire street. Neighbors had been told to keep their children inside, themselves inside, and their dogs outside so that maybe it would bark at something or someone suspicious.

"No...no I'm not. I'm worthless. These people need to be off taking care of real emergencies."

Joyce only sighed, having given up on her motivational speaking.

"I'll be in my room." I murmured.

I climbed the stairs lazily, my feet dragging on each step, before an idea came to mind. I turned and walked back down the stairs, a bit faster than before, and trotted to the livingroom. "Mrs. Barnaby, do you have any binoculars?"

Joyce furrowed her brows. "Yes, why?"

"I'd like to borrow them, please."

With a nod Joyce went to hers and Barnaby's bedroom, and returned a few moments later with a pair of black, high-powered binoculars in her hands. "These are the best ones we have, please be careful with them."

I smiled, and put the strap around my neck. "Yes, mum."

I turned for the stairs again, when the chirping sound of the phone interrupted the brief silence. I paused for a moment as Joyce answered the phone.

"Hello?" her brows furrowed. "Are you sure? Yes, she's here, but she didn't have a tab. Okay." Joyce passed the phone to me. "It's the bartender from that pub you were at; he says you didn't pay your tab."

I furrowed my brows as well, but pressed the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Blake Jones?" A deep, rough voice asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you know who this is?"

I looked to Joyce, who was watching me still with a confused expression, and smiled a fake smile at her, before turning and climbing the stairs.

"Hello?" The voice asked a bit more impatiently.

"What do you want?" I bit out as soon as I'd shut my bedroom door.

"A bit tsty, are we?" he chuckled. "You really don't know who you're talking to, do you?"

"Paul, right?"

"You got it."

"How did you find me? How did you get this number?"

"Simple, dear child." he said smugly. "I found out who your uncle is throught local paper, then found your address in a phone book. I was on the run for quite a while, waiting for when I could strike. I slipped up one night, however. One of Ben's neighbors saw me, and that's when Barnaby most likely brought you the news, and backup. I laid low for a bit longer, just watching your home and actions.

"That's where you made _your _mistake." he chuckled. "You ran away from home. When you didn, I followed you. If it hadn't been for Barnaby picking you up, I would have killed you as soon as you'd stepped out of that little pub. Well, everyone in Midsomer knows who Barnaby is, including me. So, I found his number and address in a phone book as well. I see now that just killing you on the street wouldn't have been as fun as what I have planned now."

"And what is that?" I asked in the bravest voice I could.

Paul chuckled. "Instead of killing you whenever you step foot outside, I'm going to kidnap you, and you're going to help me do that. In fact, you're going to walk right to me."

"I'm a bit smarter than that, sir." I scoffed.

"Trust me, when you hear my proposition, you'll be running to me."

"Oh?"

"Look down at the driveway, and tell me if you see your uncle Ben."

"Ben?" I murmured. Sure enough, Ben was down on the driveway in a simple white t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and tennis shoes, carrying out a conversation with Barnaby and another officer. "Ben?" I said with a bit more concern.

"That's right, Ben. Now, look into the woods with those binoculars, just about a mile behind the house in front of you."

"How do you-"

"Just look," he growled, "And you'll find out."

I shakily lifted the binoculars to my eyes with my free hand, and gazed into the woods. Paul was laying down on the ground partially hidden by a camouflague blanket, one hand clutching a black mobile, the other clutching a rifle that rested on a low-to-th-ground tri-pod.

"Hello!" he chuckled.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my fear evident in my voice.

"I can see you perfectly through the scope of my sniper rifle, and now..." he lowered the barrel a bit, "I can see Ben, right in the middle of my cross-hairs."

"Don't!" I gasped.

"I won't." he assured calmly. "If you'll cooperate."

I swallowed har, then whispered, "What...do you want me to do?"

"That's a smart girl!" he smirked. "In one hour, I want you to run out on the driveway looking as scared and flustered as you can, and tell all of those officers that you've seen me through those binoculars from your bedroom window. Tell them _exactly _where you saw me. When they leave I want you to sneek away and meet me at the gas station that's just a few streets away, got that?"

"Yes." I choked. "What will you do then?"

"I'll kidnap you, and the rest is a surprise. Now remember, in one hour you're going to point them to the _exact _place you saw me."

"Yes. You...You aren't going to hurt any of the officers, are you?"

"Only if they follow you to the gas station. No funny stuff, okay? If you try to pull anything, I'll pull this trigger while Ben is in the cross-hairs, and then Barnaby, and...Oh! Your boyfriend that just came onto the scene!"

I looked down at the driveway in horror, and sure enough, Jerry was standing next to Ben, talking to him and Barnaby. "Don't hurt them!" I cried. "You have my complete cooperation!"

"Good girl." he cooed. "One hour, nothing funny, or Jerry and Ben will be dead in a heartbeat."

The phoneline clicked, leaving me to wonder what I'd just agreed to.

* * *

Only ten minutes more, and I'd have to lie to a bunch of police officers, and put my life in the hands of a murderer. I took a shaky breath as I pulled my hair back with a black ponytail holder, and took in my black t-shirt, cargo pants, and shoes. I looked like I was going to a casual-dress funeral.

I walked slowly to the door and out the bedroom, and, surprisingly, nearly collided with Jerry on the steps.

"Hey! How-" his smile faltered. "What's wrong?"

"Paul!" I whispered fearfully, trying to be convincing. "I just saw him!" I went a few steps past him. "I have to tell the police!"

Jerry grabbed me around the waist. "You saw him? You know where he is?"

"Yes! I have to go!" I tried to break from his arms, but to no avail. "Jerry! Let go!"

"Let me tell them, you stay in the house. Go-"

I didn't allow him to finish. I crushed his lip with my own, held him close, trying to tell him everything I couldn't tell him. I brought him to the top of the stairs without breaking the kiss, and backed him into the bedroom, where I pulled away. "I'm sorry."

He furrowed his brows. "What-"

Again, he wasn't able to finish. I'd kicked him as hard as I could without causing damage in the groin, and watched guiltily as he sank to the floor, grasping himself.

"I have to do this." I murmured. I'm sorry. I love you." I slammed the door and ran down the stairs, then bounded out of the house where Ben, Barnaby, and a lot of police officers were. "I just saw him!" I yelled. "I could see him through binoculars from upstairs! He's about a mile into the woods behind that house, there!" I said pointing. "Hurry! I think he's running!"

Barnaby got in one of the police cars with a constable, and in moments sirens and flashing lights were going off.

Ben turned to me and quite literally dragged me into the house. "Get upstairs."

"No." I answered quickly. "Stay away, I hate you!" I cried with tears streaming down my face.

In that very moment, Ben's heart shattered; I saw it in his pleading eyes as he gazed down at me. "Blake, please-"

"No! "You've never done me any good! I just want you to leave me alone!" The tears were like waterfalls. Oh, how I wanted to tell him everything...

"Please!" he choked out, cupping one of my cheeks. "Please, darling, don't say that!"

I shoved him away and ran out the back door. The fence wasn't a problem, I only scrambled over it and took off down the street. Oh, how I ran! I ran as hard and fast as I could, as though someone's life depended on it...which it did. Everything around me was a blur, except for the gast station that I stared at fiercely as I ran. My heart was beating so fast that for a few moments I thought it was going to tear out of my chest and run ahead of me! But I didn't stop...my feet continued punching the ground.

I reached the gas station faster than I thought was possible on foot, and fell to my knees, gasping. I'd only been there for a few seconds when a wet rag was pressed over my nose and mouth, and I was dragged behind the building. My natural instincts screamed at me to thrash and struggle, which I did, but my efforts were only in vain. My attacker held the cloth firmly over my air passages, and soon, everything around me went dim.

* * *

"Ah, good evening. You took longer to wake up than I thought you would."

A groan escaped my lips as I opened my eyes. There was a pair of feet and ankles covered with black pants and shoes in my line of view, along with table and chair legs, and concrete. Cold concrete. Contrete that kissed the side of my face and even chilled me through my clothing. I made a feeble attempt to sit up, only to fall back on my side because my hands and ankles were tide together.

"Oh, let me help you."

A slim, rough hand grasped my wrists, and the sound of a knife being flipped open was heard. My body felt numb, so the only way I knew my wrists were untied was when I saw them both fall limply to the floor. Whoever had cut my wrists free grabbed me beneath the arms and half lifted/half dragged me to the table, and sat me in one of the chairs, however they left my ankles tied.

My captor walked around the table and sat across from me, smiling lightly as he passed me a plate with toast on it. "You must be famished, it's much past dinner time."

Paul was a bit shorter than I'd thought now that I was a bit closer to him. He was perhaps a bit shorter than Ben, and his hair was slightly grown out, and honey-colored. His eyes were dark brown, but not at all warm and comforting like Ben's. He looked to be in his mid-thirtie's, and quite good looking. Despite all of this, however, I glared at him. "What are you playing at?" I snarled.

"Absolutely nothing. I simply stated that it's past dinner time, and you must be famished, because you've been out cold for hours." he stated.

"The food probably isn't safe anyway."

"If by that you mean poisoned, you're wrong. I don't want to kill you yet, because you're bait." he chuckled.

"I hate you!" I snarled low in my throat.

"Oh, we're being a bit feisty, aren't we? Food'll help that."

"I don't like plain toast." I mumbled.

Paul plucked the piece of toast from the plate and slapped a big glop of jam on it, then smoothed it out with a bread knife.

My brows furrowed on their own as I studied the contents on the table. It seemed a bit strange that a murderer would have two jars of jam, one of peanut butter, and then various containers of meat vegitables all laid out neatly for his prisoner. "Why do you have all of this? Why is it all laid out like it's for someone important?"

"Because you _are_ important!" he smiled. "It's only gentlemanly to have it all properly laid out for my guest of honor. And to answer your other question, I have to eat too."

"I don't see how you can after all of those police officers and innocent people you shot." I bit out.

Paul gently set the piece of toast back on my plate, the jam spread evenly over it, and folded his hands beneath his chin. "They were in my way, I did what I had to."

"Bullocks. You make me sick."

"Please don't do that." he sighed. "I can't have you empty your gut on this food, it's about all I have left."

"Starve then." I sneered.

"Oh, there you go with that nasty attitude again!" he mocked. "Why don't I just help you with that?"

Paul stood and came around to my side of the table, and lowered me to the ground before he untied my ankles. When they were free, I landed a pretty good kick to his jaw before scrambling to my feet, but I only made it a few yards before I was tackled. My body was lifted effortlessly and slammed into the wall, before his fist hit me in the face a few times, and then my stomach.

"Now then," he seethed. "Try something like that again, and you'll be in much worse shape. However, I do feel the need to teach you a lesson for your sorry attitude!"

He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and the back of my pants, and dragged me into a smaller room. This room was filled with all manner of ropes, chains, weapons, and much more that I didn't really have time to look at. My wrists were handcuffed, and then a chain that hung from the ceiling was tied to those.

Paul turned to me smugly and popped his knuckles. "I think I'll just start with my fists first."

**Oops! Well, you can't blame her for trying, and poor Ben! He must be absolutely heartbroken during all of this... Thank you to everyone that reviewed! I really, really appreciate it! Please review again! Thank you! Remember, it motivates me!**


	20. Just Drive

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

"It's late. Let's call it a night, and search more tomorrow."

I shook my head. "I can't stop. A lot can happen over night."

"Jones," Barnaby pressed, "You're wearing yourself out. Go home, take a warm shower, and get some sleep. It'll make you feel much better, you know?"

Again, I shook my head, trying to keep my tired eyes focused on the road. "I won't feel any better tomorrow than I feel now." Then after a few moments of thought I added, "Sir."

"Jones," Barnaby said in a 'do-_not_-argue-with-me' tone. "That was an order."

I sighed in both annoyance and exhaustion, and pressed the gas pedal a bit harder. "Yes, sir."

"Slow down; you're angry. Actually, let me drive."

The tires screeched against the damp pavement when I laid a lead foot on the brakes, and I tried to stand up after opening my door, only to find that something was holding me back.

"You have to unbuckle your seatbelt first, Jones." Barnaby pointed out with a bit of impatience in his voice.

"My mistake, _sir._" I growled. Once that cursed seatbelt was off, I stood up in a rather ancy manner and stumbled around the front of the car, having to use the hood for guidence because I was so tired, and flopped down in the passanger seat, not bothering to buckle myself in again.

"Jones," Barnaby said in an inquisitive tone as he began driving the car in a much smoother speed, "I know you're tired, upset, and angry, but I've never had this much trouble out of you before. Something other than not finding Blake is bothering you, isn't it?"

"I don't want to talk about it, sir."

"No, go on. What is it?"

"It's nothing, sir, don't worry about it." I leaned forward slightly in my seat and began rubbing my temples. How could this day have gone so wrong?

"Jones-"

"Sir, I'm not going to talk about it." I interrupted.

"I wasn't going to refer to that, I was simply going to say to expect me at your home bright and early in the morning."

"Thank you, sir." I said curtly. "We're here. Good night."

Jess was waiting for me on the porch, sitting on the bench under the porch light. She looked worried as she watched me saunter up the walkway, and she stood and walked to the porch stairs, stopping on the second step. I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my head beneath her chin, since she was taller than me due to her standing on the stairs.

"No luck." she said softly, wrapping one arm around my neck while she stroked my hair with her free hand.

"Not even a trace." I mumbled. "I have to keep looking."

"Not tonight; you're exhausted. Come along, let's get you in bed."

"But-"

"Ben," she said forcefully, though gently at the same time, "You _will _find her, just not tonight. You need rest, darling, so you can be on top of your game tomorrow."

I was too tired to argue with her, and I knew she would win anyway. I allowed her to tug me slowly into the house, where I immediately kicked my shoes off, and she helped me remove my coat. After that I just sort of wandered off to my bedroom and flopped down on my bed, not caring to change out of my blue jeans and t-shirt.

A light shifting of the bed and a soft hand on my shoulder told me Jess was sitting behind my limp form. "I should have stopped her." I whispered

Jess continued to stroke my shoulder. "This isn't your fault-"

"Yes, it is." I interrupted. "I should have grabbed her and held her against me so she couldn't get away. But, the words she used..." I trailed off sadly.

"What words, sweetheart? What did she say to you?"

"She...She said she hates me, that I've never done her any good, and she wanted me to stay away from her." I murmured, covering my face with my hands. "She shoved me away, and I was too heartbroken to grab her. Now look what's happened, because I was weak." I said bitterly.

"You weren't being weak." she soothed. "You were reacting to heartbreak like any other normal human being, and you wanted to mourn. You felt numb, yes?"

I furrowed my brows, pulling my hands slightly from my face. "Yes...Yes, I did."

"I know exactly how you felt, love, and I'm sure she did too. She took advantage of that to get away."

"But why? Why did she say those things?! She knew they weren't true; I could see it in her eyes! Why was she trying to hurt me?"

Jess's hand paused on my shoulder. "Ben, don't you find it a bit odd that she said those things and then was almost immediately captured afterwards?"

I turned my head a bit that time, trying to catch her in the corner of my eye. "What are you getting at?"

"I mean, just yesterday morning she was fiercely hugging you and telling you how much she loves you. When you got to Barnaby's place, Joyce told you that she'd overheard Blake saying she'd left here because she loves you so much, that she wanted you to be happy with me. Then, when she actually sees you, she just hates you all of a sudden? Don't you find that strange?" she inquired.

I sat up then, looking her fully in the face. "You're onto something. Did you happen to see which direction she went when you pulled in only a few moments later?"

Her brows creased in thought. "She was just running down the road. It was strange, really. She was there one moment and then gone the next."

I started to get up, only to be pulled back down to the mattress. "I need to go in the direction she was last seen. I think I know where she may have gone." I said as I jerked away, only to fall back onto the mattress as though there was no strength left in my body.

"You see?" Jess pointed out. "You don't even have enough strength to stand up. If you don't get to sleep now, you won't have any strength in the morning."

"But Jess!" I argued, "I need-"

"Look at me good and long." she demanded, and I did. "I _will not _allow you to get into the driver's seat of a car in your condition, and I won't drive you there. You're weak, and tired, and likely to just hurt yourself."

"Jess..."

"No. End of conversation. I won't leave this room until you're asleep."

"Jess..." I whined.

"Shh. Go to sleep." she soothed.

I heaved a heavy sigh as I closed my eyes. "Then you might be in here for quite a while."

I was wrong, however. Not even ten minutes afterward, I was out cold.

* * *

The morning after Blake's abduction was overcast and bitingly cold. I'd barely gotten any sleep. In fact, I'd spent most of the night staring up at the ceiling of my bedroom, thinking of the last things she'd said to me. _I'm sorry. I had to do this. I love you._

_"I'm sorry?" _I thought. _"I had to do this?" _Why did she _have_ to do what she did? _Why _did she do it? Well, I did find it a bit strange that she'd been kidnapped _right after _she'd broken mine and Ben's hearts. I found a lot of things wrong with the situation entirely, like how she'd pointed the police in the wrong direction, and the ran down the street in the complete opposite.

I'd been thinking about all of this throughout the entire night, obviously, and was finally ready to make a move. I got up out of my bed and hastily changed into a black t-shirt, camo shorts and brown shoes. I didn't bother with brushing my hair, only left it slightly mussed up as I snatched my car keys from the top of my nightstand.

My parents and siblings were already sitting at the table eating breakfast when I came down the stairs, so I reached over my dad's shoulder to grab a waffle. "I'm going out." I said through a mouthful.

"Where are you going?" Mum called after me.

"For a drive."

"Jerry." Dad called, a bit more strictly than mum. _"Where _are you going?"

"Like I said, for a drive."

Dad sighed and left the table, mumbling for me to go outside. He crossed his arms once we were out on the porch, and leaned against the door. "Jerry, where are you going? Why are you making this difficult?" he murmured tiredly.

"I'm _not_." I grumbled. "I just want to go for a drive; there's nothing else to do."

My dad studied me fiercely, falling into his copper-interrogating-a-criminal-stance. "I don't want you looking for her."

"Why?" I asked irritably.

"Because I don't want you driving around a bunch of shady areas trying to find Blake. We've already got men out looking for her."

"But Dad-"

"No! Ben's been up since dawn, and we have a squad out looking; it's their job. Now, come inside and eat."

I stood my ground. "If it was me, April, Daniel, Amber, or mum, you would be out looking."

Dad sighed as his gaze softened. "That's a completely different situation, son."

I shook my head. "No...No, it's not. Not too long ago you said Blake is like another child to you. We should be doing what we'd be doing if it was me or anyone else in this family."

"Jerry..." he said after a long pause.

"Do you not care about her anymore?"

"Yes, I do!" he whispered strongly. "But you can't just rush into kidnap cases and throw caution to the wind! You have to be careful, or the victim will get hurt, or worse."

"I know; you've tought me about carefullness, but it feels like no one's doing anything!" My voice dropped to a whisper, and I hung my head. "And I love her...I want to do something...I feel like I should be."

By this time Dad's posture was more relaxed, and his eyes had softened. "It's going to feel like that, son. We have to find evidence, we have to get eye-witness sotries, try to find possible links...it takes time." he finished quietly as he squeezed my shoulder.

I shoved his hand away. "I'm going to look anyway."

"Son!"

He was like a far-off voice when I was finally in the driver's seat of my black sports car. The engine roared and then seemed to whine when I held the key turned for too long, and upon realizing this I let it go and threw the car in reverse. I couldn't help but catch the hurt in dad's eyes when the wheels were finally on the road, and I sent him what I hoped to be an apologetic look as I hit the accelerator.

Forty, fifty, seventy, one-hundred, I was speeding down the road, asking for all that the car could give. Before I knew it I was whizzing past the Barnaby's place, and then a gas station, where I actually saw Barnaby and Ben. My eyes widened for a moment, and I slammed on the brakes, coming to a sliding halt in the car park. Ben and Barnaby were giving me both bewildered and annoyed looks when I stepped out of the car, but I didn't worry about it as I made my way to Ben. "Anything?"

Ben nodded. "We have a possible lead."

I blinked. "Well..?"

"It's police business, Jerry." he mumbled.

"But-"

"Jerry," he said strictly. "Run along."

My brows furrowed angerly. "_Run along?_ I'm not a child, Ben."

"Jerry," Barnaby put in quietly. "Please, don't push it."

With that the two got in their dark _Jaguar_ and drove away, leaving me to stare after them with strong annoyance. "You won't get rid of me that easily."

* * *

The concrete was softer and warmer than usual. Well, it felt that way through my clothing and against the bare skin of my forearms and face. Only until I opened my eyes did I realize that I wasn't on the concrete, but on an old lumpy cot, with a blanket and an arm wrapped around me. A few moments later, I realized that that arm didn't belong to Jerry, or Ben, but to Paul. I briefly wondered if I had been raped, until I noticed that I was still wearing clothing, and my wrists and ankles were bound with...for lack of a better word...shackles.

I shifted, and when I did, Paul did too. In fact, he pressed himself closer to me until he was completely pressed against my back, and he lifted his hand to stroke the side of my face. I shivered, and he chuckled. "Do I send chills through your body?"

"Not for the reasons you're visualizing." I mumbled shakily.

Paul chuckled again and stroked my cheek with a bit more force, purposely grazing one of the many bruises on my skin. "Still a tart after that nice little banging up?"

I bit down my smart-alec remark and just laid still, wishing, hoping he would stop; but I knew it was in vain.

"That's what I thought." he said softly, placing a kiss on my neck.

I winced as I brought my hands to my face, my fingers accidentally landing atop his. I only felt the warmth of his skin for a few moments before quickly pulling my hands away, only to have him grasp at my much smaller fingers. "Please stop." I whispered.

I soon found myself flat on my back, Paul's eyes boring into my own. "I'll stop when I very well please." he murmured in an emotionless tone. He then dipped his head down and claimed my lips mercilessly, ravishing them and my mouth until I was panting for air. When he realized this he began placing rough, lingering kisses on my neck, and his hands stroked the length of my sides and hips.

I squirmed helplessly beneath him, crying out prayers in my head. "Please!" I whimpered softly.

"Why...should...I?" he asked between kisses.

"You're hurting me, and if you're to get ransom money, I doubt you'll want me in too horrible of a condition." I whispered hopefully.

Paul cocked his head a bit to the side, studying me with a small, wicked smile. He brushed my hair from my face and used my chin to turn my head a few different angles, and then tugged lightly at my shirt collar and sleeves to examine my hidden, freshly bruised and scarred skin. "You can take a few more beatings; you're tuff! I know, I've been spying on you for quite some time." he lifted himself from my body, straightening his white shirt and gray boxers as he did so, before lifting me up to my feet as well. "So, are you going to eat and be thankful for it, or will I have to beat you again?"

I nodded grudingly, and he led me from the separte, smaller room to the larger room, where I'd woken the day prior. "What is this place, anyway?" I asked softly. "An abandoned ware-house? Don't you think that's a bit old-fashioned?"

Well, the place was pretty big, after all. As I'd mentioned earlier, the floor was made of concrete. The ceiling was very tall, made mostly of tin, with a few windows here and there, and even a few fans built in. The walls, obviously, were tall as well, made of sheet metal, with big steel beams to support them Other than the silver-colored fridge, silver-colored metal table, complete with matching metal chairs, and the camping stove and microwave, the place was empty.

"It's never smart for a captor to tell his captive the sort of place they're hiding in." he smiled. "And no, it's not a were-house." he pushed me down into one of the metal chairs and unlocked one of the shackles from one of my ankles, and then locked it around one of the table legs, which were bolted to the floor, ultimately and literally chaining me to the table.

I slouched over and pressed the side of my face to the cold surface of said piece of furniture, and closed my eyes. My imagination wandered off to my uncle, to his loving and comforting arms and face. I imagined him holding me, whispering that I would be alright. If only that were true! But then, Ben's happy expression twisted into one of pain, and he began to stroke my cheek. "Why did you do it? Why did you run away?" Instantly I shot up to a sitting position, gasping softly.

"Oye, do you want bacon?"

I swallowed hard, trying to wet my parched throat. "Yes."

"Toast?"

"Whatever."

"Excuse me?"

_Sigh. _"Yes."

"Good lass."

Perhaps fifteen minutes later a plate was set before me, contain three fat slices of well-cooked bacon, a jelly-drowned piece of toast, and scrambled eggs. To complete it, a glass of orange juice was placed near my plate. Paul soon joined me at the table with a plate containing the same food as mine, just in larger proportions. I only stared at my food, not having the stomach to really eat it.

"If you eat all of your food," he said through a mouthful of bacon, "I'll let you call your Uncle Ben."

My sapphire-colored eyes flicked to his brown ones, and I sat up straighter. "Are you serious?" I mumured.

"Yes." he smiled. "If you eat. Every. Last. Bit."

I stared at him suspiciously. "Why? Is there something _wrong _with the food?"

"No." he mumbled irritably. "I'm just getting you used to earning your keep. The more you obey me, the less I'll beat you."

I began to eat, starting with the bacon first, but never took my eyes from his.

**WOOT!! Chapter twenty! Who knew this story would still be going by twenty chapters?! Yay! Please show me your excitement by using a funny word in your reviews! Still much more to come! Will Paul _really _allow her to call Ben? What heated and or possibly stupid things will Jerry do? Will Ben stay depressed even after he finds Blake, if he finds her? Review to find out! Thank you!**


	21. Shock

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

"Coffee?"

"Hmm? Oh, thank you, sir."

The scortching hot beverage burned my tongue and throat, but I didn't care; I was grateful for the caffine-loaded drink. The reason for this? I hadn't gotten much sleep at all due to the fact that I had continued to wake up every other hour. So despite the burning, I sipped the liquid quickly, carelessly.

"Good morning, gentlemen!"

I slowly looked up at George Bullard, the source of the cheerful tone. George was dressed not in scrubbs, for once, but in a simple white dress shirt, black tie, black slacks and leather shoes. Barnaby returned George's greeting, while I simply asked if George had found anything that could bring us closer to our killer.

"As a matter of fact," George smiled, "That's what I came to the lounge for in the first place. It seems our killer isn't as careful as we thought."

I felt my eyes light up, and I held my breath for a brief moment. "Yes?"

"As our killer was dragging Blake away, he dropped a cloth that was soaked in chloroform. Either he was in a hurry or he didn't realize he'd dropped the cloth, because he'd stepped on it, leaving us a small section of shoe print. The shoe print was made up of mud, and bits of grass. Judging by the small pieces of vegetation that were mixed in with the grass, the killer's hiding place is somewhere lush, and marshy."

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips, and I stood. "Thank you." I would've said more, but I felt my mobile vibrating in my pocket. Reaching down lazily my fingers plucked the small object from my pocket and brought it swiftly to my ear, not bothering to allow me to look at the caller id. "Ben Jones."

"Hello Ben."

My jaw tightened as my teeth grinded together, earning me both confused and amused expressions from George and Barnaby. "Where is she?" I growled.

"Oh, Ben, that's no way to talk to the man that's holding your niece hostage."

"I said where is she, Paul?!"

Paul chuckled smugly on the other end of the line. "She's right here beside me."

For a moment I thought I could hear the sound of chains rustling, and then whimpering. "Let me speak to her." I said a bit more calmly. "Please." Another small whimper sounded over the line, and I was surprised when I actually heard her voice, that the cold-hearted killer and kidnapper had actaully passed the phone to allow a loved-one to speak to a loved-one.

"Ben?"

My chest literally began to ache as I stood there, clutching the phone to my ear. Her voice had been so feeble, so weak, so...oh, so pain-laced! I leaned forward a bit, resting my free hand on one of the police lounge tables, and took in a shaky breath. "Blake?" I said softly. "Sweetheart? Are you alright?"

What started as a weak, humorless chuckle ended as a pained whimper. "No." she whispered. "I'm not."

I tried, with difficulty, to swallow the lump in my throat as my hand tightened into a fist on the table top. "What has he done to you?"

She grunted, as though shifting her weight. "Many things, Ben."

The right corner of my mouth twitched in anger. "Has he...touched you?"

"Yes." she said as though nodding. "In more ways than one."

My fist tightened until my knuckles were white. "Are you hurt badly?"

"Yes." she breathed. "I...I think quite a bit of my ribs are broken...Possibly a few fingers...My right foot, definately. I..." she paused for a few moments, as though considering her words. "I'm so sorry."

Again, her voice had sounded so weak, so broken. _She_ sounded broken. "Blake-"

"No!" she whimpered. "Ben!"

My eyes hardened as my posture straightened. She sounded panicked, like she was trying to get away from something. "Ben! It's a big building! A warehouse, or something! Concrete! Tin! Sheet m-"

"Blake?" I called. "Blake!"

"Hello, Ben."

"No!" I snarled. "Put her back on, please!"

Paul's voice turned from light and jesting, to dark and angry. "No, I believe she's said quite _enough._"

"If you hurt her anymore-"

"You'll what?" he chuckled darkly. "There's nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to stop me, Ben, and trust me, she _will _be punished for trying to spill our location."

I could hear more chains rustling, whimpering, and then a very pained yelp. "Please," I begged in what I could only describe as a whisper. "Please...stop hurting her. What do you want? What do I have to do?"

There was a long pause, before that deep chuckle sounded again. "Well, I've already got a good start on revenge."

"What has she done to deserve this?!" I cried out in a helpless tone.

"She witnessed a murder, ruining my chances of getting away from my other murder and here."

"What do you want? What do I have to do?"

"You." he stated.

"What?"

"You asked me what I want. I want you, and I want money...lots of money."

My free hand roughly rubbed at my face. "How much?"

"Hmm...Uhm, about two thirds of a million pounds will do."

"Done." I mumured quickly.

"Well! No hesitation there! Tell me, is she _more_ than just your niece? A lover, perhaps?"

My nose wrinkled in disgust. "She is my child, and I want her back." I answered, each word clipped with annoyance and anger. "That's all I want."

"Very well." he said smugly. "I want it in one week, and no more than that. I'll call you in exactly that amount of time with a place for you to meet me and directions. Bring the money in...oh...let's do this the old fashioned way. Bring it in a briefcase, it'll be easier to count. Come alone. Bring no one but you and yourself, and no, absolutely _no _weapons. If I see _anyone _with you, I'll shoot her right on the spot. If you bring a weapon, hell, if I _think _you've brought a weapon and your hands are too close to your body, I'll shoot her. Got that?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes, I understand."

"Good lad! Remember, don't try anything, or I'll do much more damage than is repairable."

With that, the line cut off.

* * *

"What. The hell. Was. That?" Paul hissed.

I flinched when he slammed the small mobile down on the now clean, metallic table. I was getting that gut feeling again...that feeling I would get when my father or one of his friends was going to beat me.

"I asked you a question!" he snarled, leaning over the table until his nose was touching mine. "What the hell was that?! You nearly gave away our location!"

"Can you blame me for trying?" I whispered.

Paul jerked upright and came to my side of the table. "No, but I _will _punish you for it."

It startled me when I was grabbed by my wrist chains, and I became even more afraid when he began dragging me across the concrete floor. In my fit of fear I tried to get up on my feet, only cry out in agony from my broken right foot. I fell back down on my belly, the sick memory of one of dad's friends doing the same to me before I was raped. I struggled, yanking on my shackles, trying to get away, but I knew it was just in vain. The shackles knawed and tore into my skin, sending streams of crimson blood down my forearms.

I was dragged into a room that I'd dubbed the torcher room, where Paul kept all of his weapons of choice. I was surprised when he unlocked and removed my shackles, however, it was only so he could remove my shirt. The shackles were hastily put back on, and the my blue jeens were removed as well, leaving me in nothing but my undergarments and ruined, blood-stained, torn black socks. I was then lifted by my chains again, and my chain was placed on a large hook; the same one that I'd been hung on to be beaten when I'd first been brought to this horrid place.

Paul stepped back with a satisfied look before turning to his weapons, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. His eyes seemed to stop on a pair of leathery gloves, which he stepped forward and put on. "Do you know what these are?" he asked.

I shook my head.

He held his hands up to show me the palms of the black gloves. There was a silver circle in the middle of both gloves, and silver lines extended from those to run along the fingers. "These are electric gloves, as I like to call them. There was a video game with a torcher scene in it, and the victim was electrocuted with gloves similar to these. Don't worry," he chuckled, "The victim didn't die. I've lined the inside of these leather gloves with rubber to protect my hands. That way, the only one getting shocked is you."

My mouth went dry. Gloves that can _electrocute _someone?! He'd gotten this from a _video game_?! "How many volts are in those?" I squeeked.

Paul smiled darkly. "It's not the volts you should be worrying about, deary, it's the current, or amps; whichever you would like to call it. There aren't enough amps to fry you, but there are just enough to get my messedge across." he murmured. Paul then turned to one of the counters, where a small, silver box rested, and flipped a switch on it.

My eyes widened when he did this, because I could hear the hum of the voltage running through the silver parts of the gloves, and the silver actually began to glow a shade of blue from the electricity. I shrank back as much as I could while I was just haning there, wishing I could just run from the place, broken foot or not. Paul's happy facial expression turned into one of concentration, and he sprawled his fingers before touching one of the gloves to my belly. It felt as though a very large man had punched me in the stomach, and the effect of the punch had run all the way up to my chest and upper arms. I found that I couldn't scream, either, only gasp. Paul removed his hand, seemingly surveying the damage, before slapping me across the face. I was able to scream that time, and wanted nothing more than to clasp a hand over the throbbing area; it had felt like I'd been hit with a sludge hammer.

Paul seemed to consider something, an idea or action, before placing both hands on both sides of my ribcage. My body seemed to do its own little dance, suspended there in the air, and my scream had not a touch, but quite a large dose of vibrato to it. Paul pulled away, a happy light entering his eyes like a child that had been taken to a toy store and told to pick as many toys as he wished. He lunged forward again and again, his hands landing on a different area each time, leaving red marks in the shape of the silver on the gloves.

"Stop!" I finally screamed. "Stop, please! D-don't electrocute me anymore!"

It felt so strange to cry. Crying just seemed like such a...such a childish thing to me at that moment. Maybe it was because when my so called father would beat me, I wouldn't sob until after the beating. Of course, he'd never used electrocution as a punishment. My broken foot wasn't exactly helping in the matter, either. My foot actually felt like a heavy rock on the end of my ankle, just adding more weight to the shackles on my wrists. I was shivering, too. It was cold in the huge building, after all; glacier freezing, it seemed. I was only in a bra, underwear, and socks. Whatever skin I could still feel felt as though it was burning, and the cold contrast of the air was only irritating my electrical burns.

"Alright." he answered. "I'll stop electrocuting you." he took his gloves off and set them in one of the many metal drawers, and then flipped off the switch on the silver box before putting it with the gloves. He then walked back over to me, studied me, and then smirked as he ran his fingers down my side. "I'll stop electrocuting you, but that doesn't mean I'm finished punishing you."

A cry passed my lips at the roughness that was used in getting my shackles off of that large hook; I'd practically been dropped, and my broken foot was the first thing to hit the ground. I found myself being dragged again, to a different corner of the room, and was lifted up onto a table, where my shackles were secured to another hook so that my hands were again above my head.

Paul smirked, laying one of his large hands on my flat, scarred belly, and leaned over so that his lips brushed my ear when he spoke. "No, I'm not finished punishing you at all."

* * *

"Jerry, why don't you play with your little brother? He's been in his room all day."

It took my mind a moment or two to develop the meaning of the words that had been thrown my direction. I looked up, finding the sorce of the words to be my mother, and shook my head. "I'm not in the mood to play with a kid; I'd probably just upset him."

Mum sighed from her position in the kitchen, and joined me on the couch. She was looking a lot thinner, now that she'd given birth to Amber. She was getting back down to her normal size, and she seemed a lot more pleased with herself. Who wouldn't? She can move around without having to take it slowly, or have anyone assist her. "Come along, Jerry." she said softly, soothingly. "Go play with him, it'll get your mind off of her for a bit."

"No, it won't." I told her, averting my gaze to the backyard. Dad and April were playing with Amber out there, laughing and giggling. I looked back to mum. "Why can't I stop thinking about her, Mum? It's driving me mad, but I don't _want _to stop thinking about her!" I whispered.

"You love her." she answered simply, with a simple smile. "You're just like your dad, you know? Just like him in so many ways."

I looked away from her again, hiding my face in my hands. I had to find her, but, where to start? Midsomer isn't that big, or Causton. She could be anywhere, though! What if she wasn't even anywhere near the Midsomer villages, or anywhere near Causton? The doorbell rang, interrupting my thoughts. "I'll get it." I mumbled. It caught me off guard when I found Ben standing on our porch, a frantic look in his eyes, breathing heavily. "Are you alright?" I asked him.

"Where's your dad?" Was all he said.

"He's in the backyard. What's-"

I never had a chance to finish my sentence, for Ben rushed past me, through the livingroom, and out the doors that led to the backyard. Dad's face went from calm and playful to serious and concerned. He turned to April and spoke, and April scooped Amber up into her arms before coming in the house. I watched Ben and dad converse for a few moments, before I couldn't take it any longer. I walked to the open doors and stuck my head out, catching the last of Ben's words as I did so.

"So, have you got a briefcase?"

**LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE! Okay, the video game that Paul was talking about is called _Metal Gear Solid._ I'm uncertain if it's the first or seconed one, since there's three or four of them, but that's where I got the idea from. There is a scene in the game that is similar to the one that happened to Blake, but I think it was much more brutal in the game than in my story, and I was only relating it to the the torture scene, and nothing else. In fact, my torture scene and the game torture scene are pretty different, with the exception of the electric gloves. I'm not trying to steal anyone's ideas. I do not own _Metal Gear Solid_, and I don't claim to own it. Though it is an enjoyable game, I do not wish to claim ownership to it. Now then! I apologize for taking nearly a month to get this chapter published! It is the end of the school year, and everyone is struggling and fighting to keep their grades at passing. Anyway. That's my excuse. Please review! It motivates me! I appreciate it! Thanks!**


	22. Angered into Motivation

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

Dinner. Dinner is a time when family and friends gather to be happy, and have a lovely meal. Dinner is a time when family and friends gather. Dinner is a time to be happy. Dinner, however, wasn't happy on this occasion. Dinner at Mike and Cora's place was dreary, and tense. Even Cora's special, well-cooked pasta, which could put a smile on even the poorest person's face, didn't help. After learning of my situation, Mike and Cora had been unusually, and uncharacteristically quiet. Jerry, April, and even little Daniel, though they didn't know much of the situation or anything about the phone call, seemed to sense that something was, without a doubt, terribly wrong. Jerry, especially, sent me continuous glances that were both curious and annoyed. I ignored him as much as I could, and the others faces, by staring at my food, poking lightly at it with my fork before taking small, feeble bites of it.

Jess, who was sitting right beside me, offered silent support and comfort by holding one of my hands beneath the table. She, too, sent me curious glances, and worried ones, but I only continued picking at my food as I squeezed her hand, not bothering to make eye contact with her.

Mike shattered the silence by clearing his throat, earning everyone's gazes. "Children," he said quietly, "When you finish eating, I want you to put your plates by the sink. After that, go outside, or to your rooms."

Mike's unusal behavior didn't help in lifting my spirits, either. Mike usually made the children clean their dishes, and then allowed them to hang out with us if they wished. The three children did as they were told, however, and placed their dishes by the sink, and retreated. Jerry reached the staircase before pausing, casting me a look as he lingered there.

"Jerry," Mike said tiredly, "You heard what I said."

Jerry continued to linger at the bottom of the staircase, staring at me, before finally turning to ascend it.

Mike sighed. "Persistant, that young man...Just like his father."

Cora squeezed her husband's hand as she leaned forward. "The issue, dear." she murmured softly.

Nodding, Mike leaned forward as well. "Ben, I think you're going about this the wrong way."

The somberness in his voice irritated me. "How else would you have me go about it?" I grumbled through clenched teeth. Jess's hand tightened in mine at my reaction, but I paid her no mind; only allowed her to squeeze.

"I don't know." he admited in a defeated tone. "But not like this."

My eyes shot to his. "How else is there, Michael?!" I snarled. "If I don't show up with the money in a week, he'll shoot her. If I show up with back-up, he'll shoot her on the spot. If I show up with a weapon, he'll do what I've already mentioned. No one can get out of this unscathed, Mike...I have to do this by his rules."

Mike leaned even closer, detirmination and a readiness to fight with me very clear in his ocean-colored green eyes. "No, you don't. There have been kidnap cases very similar to this one, Ben. We don't have to play by his rules. We can get snipers...camo...We can break as many rules as we want without Paul knowing it, you just have to relax and calm down enough so you can listen to my ideas and other's."

I reached up with shaking hands to rub my temples. Goodness, I had a throbbing headache. "No."

Mike leaned back in his chair, anger radiating off of him. "So where do you plan on getting all of this money, hm? Are you just going to pull it out of the air? Do it, I'd love to see that trick." he said with annoyance.

"Michael!" Cora hissed under her breath.

"Ben..." Jess warned. "Don't. Just calm down."

I leaned back as well. "I have savings, and maybe I can talk my parents into giving me my inheritance early." I grumbled. "I'll see if I can get a few people to chip in, too."

Mike scoffed. "You really think you can raise all that money in a week? What's happened to you, Ben? You're better than this!"

I growled, shoving myself to my feet, and Mike followed my example.

"Don't!" Cora said in a growl-like voice, grabbing a hold of one of Mike's arms.

"Chill out!" Jess snarled, grabbing my arm as well.

"I'm not better than this!" I seethed in a low voice. "All of this is _my _fault!"

"Partly!" Mike seethed back. "Part of this is Blake's fault too, Ben! She's the one that ran off, and she knew what she was getting into!"

"So what are you trying to say, Michael?" I snapped.

"You're taking too much of the blame for this! Calm yourself down, and think logically like you used to! She obviously ran off for a reason...not because she was angry with you. Everyone's been telling you she disappeared right after she told us where the killer was. Listen to logic, Ben. Stop allowing your emotions to blind you, and listen to logic. He must have contacted her somehow."

The room was silent for a few moments, and for those short moments we were able to hear the kids walking around upstairs.

"Gentlemen," Cora broke in quietly, "I believe we need to take this outside. I don't want them to hear you if you start yelling again. I won't have this in our home."

Mike and I stared at each other, unblinking, waiting for one or the other to make a move. Mike decided to make the move by nodding, and made for the door that led to the back yard, Cora still gripping his arm. Jess and I soon followed their example, and shut the door behind us once we were out in the cool-night air.

"I want you to shake hands right now." Cora told us sternly. "You've been friends since childhood, and you'll not be fighting."

Mike turned to me, his jaw set, and held his hand out. I was a bit more hesitent in sticking my hand out, but I did none-the-less, and the both of us grasped each other's hands firmly. We shook once, and still with our hands linked, gave each other a one-armed hug, rough pats on the back included.

"There, now. Better?" Cora said.

Silently, we both nodded.

"Explain to me what you were going to explain...please." I murmured.

Mike took a deep breath, further calming himself, and nodded. "I was simply stating that almost immediately after she pointed us where the killer had been, and almost immediately after she claimed she hates you, she disappeared. I think Paul contacted her somehow, and threatened her with something...her life, or yours."

I stood for a moment, absorbing his words. "Do you think he called her while she was at boss's place?"

He nodded again. "I believe that's exactly what he did."

"We need to get to the Barnaby's place; I have questions that need to be answered."

That signature smirk graced Mike's lips. "That's the Ben I know."

* * *

I'd never been so sore in my life. So far I'd been beaten, electrocuted, and raped while being held a hostage in Paul's hide-out...wherever that was. I was still trying to get over the last thing on that list...having been roughly raped and emotionally shattered. I never thought that would happen to me again. I was certain I had a few scratches on me that were still bleeding, and that there were several tender bruises...along with the scarrs from being electrocuted that still needed to be treated. At least Paul had been kind enough to lock me up in the bath room so I could take a shower.

Kind.

Hm. I inwardly laughed bitterly at that word. Was that word even real anymore? Another tremble rippled through my body, and I curled up into a tighter ball as the shivers continued to ravish me, despite the warm water that was spilling out all over my skin. I hadn't bothered to scrub myself down because I knew I would just get dirty again while in the wretched hiding place...or Paul would do what he'd done for the past hour of the day because he'd felt like it.

A sigh passed my lips as I shifted, trying to get comfortable on the hard tile floor. After several attempts at that, I gave up and turned the water off, barely able to stand because of my broken foot, so I could dry the water from my body. I was so tired...and I felt so weak...It took me much longer than usual to dress myself, too. I had to wear the clothing I'd been wearing when I was kidnapped. The things were disgusting, really. My black t-shirt looked as though it had some sort of red juice in the fabric(blood), and my black cargo pants were so tattered that all I had to do was give them a light tug and they'd be shorts.

It took me a while to get dressed, when under normal circumstances it only took me a matter of minutes. A hiss passed my lips as I pulled each article of clothing on; each touch or caress of the fabric like an agonizing burn. I was nearly out of breath by the time I was fully dressed in what I could only describe as rags, and took a seat after putting the toilet lid down. I leaned back, my arms hanging loosely at my sides like nearly dead snakes, and my head lolled back limply as though I was unconcious.

My broken foot didn't really ache, but throbbed from the pressure that had been put on it, and my body as a whole seemed to follow its example. A whimper-laced sigh made its way out of my throat as I stared at the strangely clean, white-painted wood of the ceiling, nothing but jumbled, mutilated representations of thoughts flowing in a tangled mess through my head. I didn't dare close my eyes; if I did, my mind would only produce a miniature film festival of the rape that Paul had been so kind to do to me.

Kind.

There was that word again. Like earlier, I laughed bitterly at it on the inside, wondering if it was real or not.

_"It has to be." _I caught myself thinking. _"It has to be real. What else could Ben, the Williamson's and the Barnaby's been showing me?"_

In the quiet of the room, my mind sneered, _"Pity."_

I weakly shook my head. _"No, pity can't make people act that way for so long." _I told my warped mind.

_"Pity can make people do many things." _My mind sneered again. _"You have no idea, kid."_

"It had to have been more." I argued back, softly interrupting the silence.

_"Okay." _It agreed. _"They were showing you a bit of mercy. They wanted you to have a short break from all you'd been through; but just a short one. It was mostly pity, deary."_

I scoffed. "There had to have been more than just...sorrow for me. There was something else...something warm, comforting. I could actually feel what they were feeling at times...and goodness...it felt good."

_"Or you fantasized about it. People believe and feel what they want to, you know? They do that until they think its real."_

Anger welled up inside my body, causing me to tremble with the emotion. "Enough!" I hissed. "I've had it with you! You always bring me doubt...You made me doubt Ben, my boyfriend...and everyone else that are good people."

_"Good people!" _My mind chortled. _"Have you forgotten what your own _dad _did to you, and allowed to happen to you? Paul is a fine example of the people that inhabit this planet."_

"Not. All. Of. The. People. In. This. World. Are. Horrid." I snarled through clenched teeth. "You. Are. The. Reason. I'm. They. Way. I. Am." I paused to take a deep breath, trying to calm myself a bit. I was arguing with my own mind, after all. "There are good people in this world; Ben and the others are proof...They did feel pity for me, I agree with you, _but, _they felt something else...Something stronger...They felt...compassion...love."

_"Love?"_

"Mhm. I didn't...think it was real until...until Ben held me that night that I was pitifully helpless and hurting after I'd been shot." I nodded. "It's real. It's real, and I have to get out of here. I have to let them know that I know that it's real."

My mind had nothing to say. It was all silence, with the exception of my renewed, positive mind whispering different ideas as to how to get away from Paul. However, the ideas stopped and the fear came back when the lock on the door clicked. The door opened slowly, revealing a still very angry Paul. His right cheek marred four fresh scratches that appeared to have been washed, and rubbed with a form of clear medicine, or something. He'd recieved those scratches when he'd raped me. I'd screamed, begging him to stop, and when he didn't, I'd scratched him with my fingernails out of an act of desperation. Angered, Paul had thrown me in the bathroom, along with my ragged clothes, and locked the door.

"After your little...stunt," he growled, "I find that I have no option but to punish you."

"As if rape wasn't enough." I said in a clipped tone.

_"He's getting angry." _My mind whispered.

_"That's what I want him to do." _I whispered back in my head. _"I need hime angry if I want my plan to go right."_

Paul's lip twitched as his eyes grew furious. He took slow, measured steps in my direction, his large hands shaking with anticipation.

* * *

I took in a shaky breath as I knocked loudly on the Barnaby's front door. It was already dark, and it was getting very late, but I had to get answers. I had to know what had gone on before my niec had disappeared.

Mike squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "Deep breaths, mate. If the answers get to be too much, I'll take up for you and ask the questions.

The door opened a crack, and then all the way, revealing Barnaby. "Jones, Officer." he nodded. "Everything alright?"

"I apologize for bothering you at this hour, sir, but I need to question Mrs. Barnaby, concerning what went on and what my niece did before she went missing."

He stepped aside after a moment of studying both me and Mike, and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Thank you, sir."

We found Mrs. Barnaby in the living room, sitting on the couch while she watched tellie. She looked up at us and smiled. "Hello."

"Mrs. Barnaby," I nodded, "I need to ask you some questions about Blake...before she went missing."

Mrs. Barnaby's smile faultered for a moment, but she nodded. "Okay."

I took a seat a few feet from her on the couch, while Barnaby sat on the other side of her, and Mike chose to stand.

"Mrs. Barnaby, was Blake acting strange in any way before she told us where the killer was located?"

"Not really...other than saying she thought the police should be elsewhere doing something that mattered."

I sighed. Blake, why can't you realize you matter? "Did you recieve any phone calls, or a note or letter before she went missing?"

"No..." she paused, thinking. "Wait, yes. We got a phone call. It was a man that claimed he was a bartender. He said Blake hadn't paid her bill, and wanted to speak to her."

I looked around her to Barnaby. "Sir, didn't you say you found Blake at a pub?"

"I did, but she hadn't bought anything. I was on my way out when she was coming in."

I looked up at Mike, and Mike looked at me, and at the same time we said, "Paul."

"Do you know how long she spoke to him?" I asked her.

She shook her head. "No, I don't. She did ask for a pair of binoculars, though.." she added quickly.

"Binoculars." I murmured. "Mrs. Barnaby, may I see the room that Blake stayed in?"

She quietly stood and led me up the staircase, and to a room that was just to the right. I walked in to find Blake's backpack still on the bed, some of her things falling out of it and onto the mattress. With a heavy sigh I sat on the bed and ran my fingers over the backpack, before something cut cut my finger. I jerked my hand back quickly, soon finding that what had cut me was a piece of paper that was sticking out of one of the pockets. I pulled the paper out anxiously, my fingers fumbling to open it.

_Ben,_

_I don't hate you. As a matter of fact, I'm doing this because I care very much for you. The man had you in the crosshairs of his rifle, Ben. He said if I disagreed he would pull the trigger, and then would aim for Barnaby and Jerry after that, since they were near you as well. I really am sorry for all of this mess. I only hope that you won't be so angry with me for saying those things to you that you won't come looking for me. I'll attempt an escape if I can, and trust me, I _will _try. _

_It's time for me to go...time for me to make a scene, and hope you all belive me. I'm truly sorry for all of this. Please, please don't give up on me, please. Please, don't quit on me._

_-Blake_

I lowered the piece of paper slowly to my lap. "She save my life...and two others." I murmured. "He said he'd shoot us right in front of her if she didn't do as he told her."

The note was taken from my numb fingers, and then passed around among the three other people in the room. I stood quietly, feeling numb all over, and walked to the window. "She had a perfect view of us from here." Upon noticing the binoculars I picked them up, and looked into the darkness at the hill opposite of the house. "She could see Paul, too." I turned back to the group, mainly focusing my gaze on Mike. "When I talked to her a few days ago, she'd quickly tried to tell me about the building she's being kept in. She said it's a big place, made with sheet metal, tin, and concrete." I made for the door after saying this, purpose in my footsteps.

"Where are you going?" Mike called after me.

I stopped, turned, and smiled. "To break a few rules."

**Okay, I know you all probably hate me for leaving Blake's and Paul's scene hanging. However, that's because I didn't want to squeeze everything into this one chapter. The next chapter will have a lot of Blake and Paul...I think. I just have to write it all out and see how it works. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, despite Blake's slight madness when she's arguing back and forth with her own mind. It saddened and bothered me a bit to write it, but I couldn't think of any other way for Blake to get her motivation up other than what I wrote. That being said, please tell me what you think! I love to hear what you think about my work! Please review and let me know! Thank you!**


	23. Red Rain and Rain

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

Oh, blood. Blood was all I could see. Blood was all I could feel. Blood was all I could taste. Blood was all I could _hear. _I could see it because it was all over my face, clothing, the floor. I could feel it because it was seeping out of my body and onto my skin, the palms of my hands...my fingers. I could taste it because the blood from my head wounds was leaking into my mouth, and I actually had a wound _in _my mouth as well. I could hear it because it was rushing in my ears, making it difficult to hear the angry words Paul was screaming, and sometimes muttering at me.

Perhaps I had made him a bit too angry. Perhaps I had egged him on a bit further than I'd originally thought he'd go. I squeezed my eyes shut as another blow met my head, making another gash. Where had this all gone wrong?

_"As if rape wasn't enough." I said in a clipped tone._

_"He's getting angry." My mind whispered._

_"I want him angry." I whispered back in my head. "I need him angry if I want my plan to go right."_

_Paul's lip twitched as his eyes grew furious. He took slow, measureed steps in my direction, his large hands shaking in anticipation. His face and neck were as red as a very bad sunburn. He raised his hand high above his head, bringing the back of it down on my cheek. I fell to the floor with a sickening 'thud', my hip having hit first. But instead of a pained cry, a laugh burst forth from my lips. My plan was working. Perhaps I was laughing from happiness that I would soon be out of my torturous prison. Perhpas I was laughing because I'd been waiting for the impact, and it hadn't hurt as badly as I'd thought it would. Maybe I was laughing because I'd lost my mind. I was leaning more toward that reason when I was grabbed by the ankle. _

_"Oh! You're dragging me by the ankle, Paul!" I chuckled hysterically. "My dad used to do this to me all the time! Nothing new."_

_Paul's only reply was a growl._

_I sighed when I felt the familiar cold, blood-spattered concrete floor on my arms and chin. He dragged me to the torture room. Almost there. I could almost taste freedom._

_With a furious roar Paul flung me against the wall, knocking the air from my lungs. My hysterical chuckling stopped, replaced with a gasp._

_Paul chuckled. "I'll stop your laughter. I'll stop it perminently if I have to...and that smug smile of yours."_

_"You can't break me." I sneered, hoping that I sounded convincing._

_Paul's smile slid from his lips, and another growl passed his clenched teeth. He strode to me quickly and wrapped his fingers around my throat, lifting me against the wall until my feet were dangling above the floor by quite a bit. "I _will _break you, with more than one meaning to that word."_

_The back of his hand met my face again, followed by a fist. My hands gripped his wrists tightly, trying to loosen his hold on my throat, while I told him through wheezes, "I'm not afraid of you anymore."_

_Apparently Paul didn't like the idea of losing the fear of his hostage, for he pulled me back and bashed my head against the wall a few times. "I can fix that..very quickly."_

_Now, in the center of the room, there's a metal table, sort of like the one we ate off of, only this one was taller. Still with his hand on my throat, he slammed me down back-first on the table. "I'll do things that you've never thought would ever happen to you."_

_I smirked, despite my pain. "Good luck with that."_

_He turned away with an animal-like snarle and dug around in one of the metal drawers. When he came back he pressed his elbow to my throat, and lited my tattered shirt so that my scarred belly was exposed. Some sort of gurggling sounds passed my throat due to the force his elbow was exerting, and for a few moments I feared suffocation. But then, there was this sound...like someone flicking on a cigarette lighter. A sharp burning sensation started just below the right side of my ribcage, and moved downward towards my stomach. Through my gagging, I lifted my head just enough to catch a glimpse of what my captor was doing. It was, in fact, a lighter that was being dragged across my belly; the orange flame eating away at my skin. For some reason, just looking at the torture that was being inflicted on me seemed to make the pain all the more painful. The smell made it even worse. A new terror was unleashed inside of me, and part of it overflowed in my eardrum-damaging scream._

_"Beg me!" Paul screamed over my own screaming._

_"Beg what?!" I cried._

_"Beg me to stop!"_

_Oh, the burning! "Stop it! Please!" I cried, tears awkwardly streaking down my skin. "Stop, I won't say anymore! I'll quit! Just please, please stop it!" The flame was pulled away, and the elbow was removed from my throat. Air wooshed into my lungs so quickly that I began to cough like some sort of diseased patient on their death bed. I clutched at my throat while my other hand splayed across my belly. _

_A larger hand stroked my shoulder, and I could feel warm breath on my ear. "Had enough?" Paul asked cooly._

_I sneered. He really had the nerve to ask? I turned my eyes so full of blue flames on him, wishing that just my gaze alone would burn his fair skin. My opportunity was slipping away, right out of my fingers. I had to get him angry again...had to get him looking for another weapon so my opportunity would open up. "No." I whispered._

_I quickly found myself flying through the air. I'd been thrown before I could even think of what he was going to do after he'd grabbed me by the shirt. I crashed into a nearby mirror, the glass shards slicing into my scalp, shoulders, back, and arms. Blood poured down my face, and judging by how my shirt had grown wet, it was seeping from my shoulders and back. "I'm about to die." I thought._

I began to shiver from the amount of blood that had seeped into the fabric of my clothing. It was freezing in the room, after all. My glazed-over eyes looked up just in time to see Paul reaching down for me again, and, as if they had their own minds, my arms and legs drew close to my body, trying to huddle me into a ball. Paul lifted me up and threw me again, sending my back crashing into the long row of drawers. A few of the drawers flung open from the impact of my body bouncing off of them, sending some of their contents out onto the floor. I gasped, a much louder gasp than when I'd been thrown against the wall.

Paul studied me for a few long moments, making sure the force and impact hadn't killed me. He turned away when he realized it hadn't, running his hands through his hair. "Calm down..." he muttered. "You mustn't kill her. Think of the money, man."

My head lolled to the side, and a few glistening objects caught my eyes. They were blurring in and out of focus, but I could make out what they were. A large knife laid next to my right hand, another knife with a shorter blade laid next to my leg, and...a pistol laid a few feet from my reach. I looked up, finding that Paul was still turned from me. I leaned over, trying not to bump the knife, and inched my fingers toward the shiny black pistol. I stopped to make sure Paul still wasn't looking, and then inched a few more inches. I would have to lean over to get it. Paul was starting to turn back to me slowly, still trying to calm himself. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs. _"So close." _I thought.

No longer wishing to be careful, I forced myself to fall over, my fingers finally able to grasp the hand grip. The action had caused one of the knives to slide across the concrete floor. Paul turned quickly, his brows furrowed, just as I had a firm grip on the pistol. His eyes widened, realization hitting him, before he started for me at a run. I pulled back the cock, and swung the pistol in Paul's direction. I pulled the trigger several times before a few of the bullets struck Paul in the stomach, chest, and shoulder. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes still wide and his jaw agape, and fell on top of me...dead.

I exhaled heavily and dropped the gun, leaning my head back in relief. I was free. Finally, I was free from my own personal hell. Weakly, I shoved Paul so that he was on his back, on my legs so I could breathe fully. I began to crawl, a cry of pain passing my lips when my broken foot was under Paul's weight, and used a bit more force until I was fully out from under him. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself up on my hands and knees, and crawled to the doorway. I didn't dare stop and look back, I just crawled. I crawled past our eating area, where the table, refridgerator, and small cooking stove was, and to a door where a pale sort of light was leaking from the bottom. I shoved it open, falling on my stomach as I did, and breathed in fresh, clean air.

I never thought I'd be so happy to smell pine trees and the late-night dew on the grass! I breathed it in as though it were a drug, and for once in what felt like too long of a time, I laughed. Not a hysterical laugh, or a laugh to replace a cry of pain, but a happy laugh. I was free. I also began to laugh when I found that there was a black car to my right, not far from the door. I began crawling again, happy to find that the door was unlocked and the keys were in it. I guessed that Paul had wanted to be able to get away quickly if someone did actually come and try to infiltrate the building.

I pulled myself up into the driver's seat, slammed the door, and started the car. The gage to the gas tank showed it was nearly empty. _"You can make it." _My mind said encouragingly. _"Surely you can't be too far from a town or city."_

I nodded at this, and threw the car in reverse. A wince twisted my features, and slowly, I took my right foot from the gas pedal and replaced it with the left. I'd never driven with my left foot before, but it would have to do. I pulled around to the front of the building and pressed the gas pedal a bit harder, wanting nothing more than to get away from that awful place. A heavy sigh passed my lips as rain began pelting the windshield. Just my luck. The roads would soon be slick, I was hurting all over, and I couldn't drive well because of it. I was even driving with the wrong foot on the gas for crying out loud!

_"Of course." _My mind scoffed. _"Of course it would decide to rain when you're finally free."_

"There are things that I can't help." I muttered weakly.

_"Yeah, at least you're free, right? Good show, kid."_

It was my turn to scoff. "You did nothing to help. It was the shear thought of getting to see my family and tell them that I know love is real that got me out of there."

_"Don't get angry with me!" _It shouted. _"We're out, we're safe." _

"Can't argue there." I murmured weakly.

It was all silent after that, with the exception of the sound of friction between the tires and the road. I drove for as long as the car would allow, before the gas ran out. I don't know how long I drove, but I do know that I got pretty far away from that horrid building before the car actually stopped working. I allowed it to drift to the shoulder of the lane, put it in park, and then fell out of the car and onto the side of the road.

"If I can't get home by car," I whispered weakly, "I'll crawl there."

The rain was heavier by this time. I could barely see a few feet ahead of me it was so heavy...or perhaps my vision was just getting blurrier and blurrier. I only made it a few feet before I fell to the ground, unconsious.

* * *

"Oye, want me to drive?"

Why did it have to rain so heavily, and why did I get tired so quickly? "No, Mike, I'll drive for a bit longer, and then you can drive."

"Have we gone down the back roads yet?"

"A few, but not as many as I'd like to stop at just yet."

"No, mate. It's going into the early hours. Look," Mike said, pointing at the clock in the radio screen, "It's half past one."

I sighed. "I feel so much closer to her now, after finding out more about how she disappeared...after reading her note."

"I know, mate. But you need rest. Don't go through this again, okay? I heard you gave Barnaby quite a time the last time you didn't want to go to bed. Make your buddy feel better, and go to home. We'll pick up fresh in the morning...Well, in a few hours, anyway, being it's already morning."

I sighed again.

"You know Jess would want you to."

A slight smile pulled at my lips. Jess. I could just hear her telling me to go to bed. "Alright." I mumbled. "I'll go home."

Mike smiled. "That's a good man. Not good to be driving out in this weather anyway."

I only rolled my eyes, and turned onto a road that I knew would get me to the main road quicker.

* * *

I was surprised to find Jess sitting on the porch when I drove up...just like last time. Her expression seemed to be torn between happy and distressed, that caused not only me, but Mike as well to run up the walkway to the porch.

"Why are you out here, Jess?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"I've been watching the lightning." she answered quietly.

"Jess, what's wrong?" Mike asked before I could.

Jess turned her eyes to mine, and cupped my cheeks gently. "Ben, they've found Blake."

I only stared at her, unable to move for some reason. "Th-...they've found her? Who's found her?"

"Some citizens found her. She was just outside of London. They found her on the side of the road, laying in the rain. They got her to a hospital as quickly as they could."

I swallowed loudly and hard. "Outside of London...laying in the road?"

She nodded. "Yes, but she's been taken to a hospital. They matched her description with one of the missing persons papers that you sent to the London Police, and called me to make sure."

"Is she...alright?"

She sighed, averted her gaze, and then brought it back to mine again. "She was nearly dead when they found her. She's been taken to the emergency room-"

"Emergency room?!" I interrupted.

Jess placed her fingers on my lips, shushing me. "She'd been treated very badly, Ben, but she's alive."

"Do you know anything else?" I asked, the panick fresh inside me again.

"That's all I know."

I took her hand. "Come on...we're going to London."

**I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. Because of the blood and violence in this chapter, do you think I should bump the rating up to 'M', or leave it at 'T'? Just wondering! Anyway, she's finally free! Nearly dead, but free! Please tell me what you think of this chapter! Please review! Thank you!**


	24. Tell Me the Truth

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

"Sir? Sir, wake up please."

I worked to open my eyes, and when I did, everything was blurry. I sat up and rubbed them with a groan, before looking down at my wrist watch. Five in the morning.

"Good morning, Mr...Jones, is it?"

After blinking a few times, I nodded. "Yeah, I'm Ben Jones." I said groggily. I realized then that it was a nurse standing before me. "Any news?"

She nodded with a slight smile. "She's currently hooked to a heart monitor and oxygen. With your permission we'd like to give her pain medication."

I looked at the nurse for a few moments with a steady gaze. "How is she?"

Some of the cheerfullness slid from the nurse's expression. "She's in a lot of pain, sir. She was badly wounded. I strongly suggest the medication."

My brows furrowed. "Wh-...What's wrong with her?"

"Her heart keeps speeding up...but only in spurts. Still, it's enough to keep an eye on. The medication will help to keep her heart steady, and numb some of the pain."

"Alright." I answered after a short pause. "Give her the medication."

The nurse straightened, and began to walk away. "Yes, sir. I'll come get you when we're finished."

I leaned back with a groan, and then widened my eyes a bit when another groan followed mine. It was then that I realized my right arm was heavier than my left, and upon looking, found that Jess was leaned against me, sound asleep. My jacket was draped around her, and she was tugging at it in her sleep, trying to get warmer. I leaned her against Mike, who was asleep as well and leaned back against the wall, wrapped the jacket securely around her, and, after placing a kiss on her forehead, got up to find something to drink.

I didn't have to venture too far down the hall before I found a coffee maker for all visitors, and grabbed a styofoam cup. I went through the motions of putting cream and sugar in my coffee like a programmed robot, while my mind produced bits and pieces of words and sentences, still trying to wake up.

Sip.

One sip, and I already began to feel better.

Sip...long sip.

Two more sips and I was walking down the hall leisurely with my hand in my pocket, my mind actually producing complete sentences.

Gulp, gulp, gulp.

Ah. Three gulps and I was becoming aware of my surroundings, movement, and low murmurs of words of doctors and nurses as though my ability to see and hear had been cranked up like a music player and television.

Gulp, slurp, slurp.

"Sir, you may see your niece now; we've finished injecting the medicine."

An 'mhm' was my only reply as I followed the nurse down the hallway and into an elevator, where we stood silently as we were carried three floors up.

Gulp, slurp, drizzle.

I scowled when several large drops of coffee spilled down my chin, neck, and into the fabric of my light brown t-shirt because the elevator had jerked to a stop. I wiped the liquid from my skin as we walked out of the elevator and down another hall, wondering just how much of a mess I looked after driving until one in the morning, driving more to get to London, and then not falling asleep until three o'clock...in a chair. I'm sure I looked awful, but it didn't concern me much.

Gulp, gulp, drain, drain.

I finished off my coffee just before the nurse stopped in front of a door that had 'Jones' typed on a piece of paper beneath the room number. "This is it." she said softly. "Just allow me to warn you that she's a little confused, Mr. Jones. That's one of the side-affects of the medicine we gave her. It'll wear off in a few hours, of course, but I'm supposed to warn you. Are you sure you still want to see her right now?"

"Yes." I nodded. "I've been trying to find her for days; I need to see her."

The nurse nodded slowly. "Okay. It may be a bit painful, so brace yourself."

I didn't say anything to her as I walked in the room, shutting the door softly behind me. I felt myself become numb again when my eyes finally found Blake, and I had to coax myself to near her bed. Once I was seated in a chair beside her wounded body, I felt warm liquid streak down my cheeks. My dear Blake was bruised from hair-line to toe nail, with stitches just about everywhere. Her arms were bandaged from her fingers up to under the sleeves of her light blue hospital gown, and even her forehead was bandaged; her right eye covered up as well. I could see more skin than usual beneath her brown hair. Upon moving some of the long locks I found that the reason behind this was because they'd shaved some of it away so they could stitch up a large gash. There were at least two more sections like that on her head, and after that, I stopped looking.

I realized that she'd opened her left eye, which was full of what I could only describe as fear. I reached for her hand, only to have her jerk it away. "Blake?" I said softly.

"D-don't touch me!" she slurred.

My brows furrowed. "Blake, it's me!"

"I kn-know who y-you are! S-stay a-away!"

Oh, I could feel my heart breaking in my chest! I reached for her hand again, and held it tightly despite her tugging. "Blake, it's me!"

"I kn-know! Y-your my d-dad! Don't h-hurt me!"

It struck me then. She was as confused and cookoo as could be. I placed my other hand lightly on her bandaged forehead(despite her flinching), and said softly, "I'm not your father. I'll never be anything like him, I promise. It's me, your Uncle Ben! Please, calm down, love."

Blake studied me with her one exposed eye, and I could tell she was inwardly fighting with herself, trying to figure out what to do and say. "L-lean closer." she whispered. When I did, she weakly lifted her hand out from under mine and touched my cheek, and then began moving her hand all along my face. She lightly stroked my nose from bridge to tip, my lips from corner to corner, outer ear to earlobe(though that one tickled a bit), stroked my closed eye lids, and then finally finished exploring by running her fingers through my hair.

"Well?" I whispered gently.

She tried to shake her head, but it turned out as a loll in my direction. "H-how d-do I know it's you? W-what if y-you're just d-dad p-putting on a show s-so you won't b-be arrested f-for child a-a-abuse?"

How to prove myself?! I scrounged my brain for something, anything I could use to prove to my own niece that I was her uncle. I had a few ideas, of course, but none of them were really good. But then I began to think of when she'd been shot in the leg, and how I'd comforted her that night. I leaned down close to her ear, hope bright in my eyes and chest, and began to hum that deep, mellow lullaby that I'd used that night.

Blake's eye widened a small bit, and she angled her head so that she was looking at me. "Ben?" she whispered.

A small, hopeful smile tugged at my lips, and I nodded. "Yes, your Uncle Ben."

She took me by surprise when she slowly wrapped her arms around my neck, which pulled my face close to hers, and, kissed me. Not a passionate kiss, or anything like that, but a kiss that a daughter would give her father before she went to bed. Just a light, quick, loving peck on the lips. "I'm s-so sorry." she whispered tearfully.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I murmured.

"Y-yes, I do. I've b-b-been awful. I h-hurt you."

"To save me." I interrupted. "Blake, you saved my life by doing what you did. However," I said, my voice growing softer, "You did give us all quite a scare."

"I d-din't have any o-other options!" she cried. "He w-was going to shoot you..."

I gazed at her quietly as my fingers began stroking her hair back again. "I know." I whispered. "I know...You were very noble...I just wish you could have told me before you ran away."

"I c-couldn't. I was t-to scared."

I said nothing as I only continued stroking her hair, and gazed into her uncovered eye. She looked absolutely broken. Her eyes, from what I could see, anyway, had grown dull, and though her one showing eye wasn't wide anymore, I could tell she was still afraid. "What did he do to you?" I whispered.

She closed her eye. "I don't remember...it just hurts...It hurts now...so bad." she whimpered, looking up at me again. "And I'm so tired."

Just like when she'd been shot, placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, and then looked her in the eye. "Don't try to stay awake. Go to sleep."

After seemingly fighting with herself, her eye drooped closed, and her head lolled limply. I could tell from her deep, even breathing, she'd fallen asleep, and after a few more moments, so did I.

* * *

So quiet. Everything was so quiet, with the exception of my heartbeat in my ears. I thought I could hear a beeping sound, too. I opened my eyes to find that I could only see through one of them, and surveyed my surroundings.

I was in a white room. White walls, white ceiling, white floor. There were a few paintings on the white wall, but they didn't do much for the room's plainness and lack of creativity. Had I not escaped the torture room after all?

"Hey." A warm voice said to the right of me.

I strained to turn my head in that direction so I could see with, apparently, my only working eye. It was Mike, and he was smiling gently at me, one of his hands resting on my right knee as his thumb stroked. I furrowed my brow, which felt a lot colder than the one on the right, for some reason, and replied, "I'm not in the torture room?"

It was Mike's turn to furrow his brows. "No, darling, you're in a hospital in London."

"London?"

"Mhm." he nodded. "You drove away from wherever it was that you were being kept. There was no gas in the car, and you were lying on the side of the road near it when you were found. You were immediately brought to the nearest hospital in London."

"London." I murmured. "I've always wanted to go to London...but not like this."

Mike chuckled at my weak joke, out of kindness to me, or pity, I didn't know. "We'll drive you around as soon as they let you out."

I allowed my gaze to wander after he'd spoken, finding that Ben was leaned over my bed, his arms crossed and his head resting atop them, fast asleep. Jess was sitting right beside him following his example, only one of her arms was around his shoulders. I reached up slowly and stroked his hair.

"He's had a rough night."

I looked back to Mike. "I'm sure. I probably worried everyone."

That gentle smile graced his lips again. "It was nothing you could help. Besides, he's more relaxed now that he knows you'll be alright."

I looked around again. "Where's Jerry?"

"Jerry doesn't know yet. It's only eight in the morning; he's probably still asleep."

I chuckled at that, before wincing at the pain it caused in my ribs. "Most likely. He's not one for getting up early." I sighed shakily. "Am I blind in my right eye?"

"No. You had some bad cuts over there; it's just covered with gauze and medical tape."

From my good eye I could tell that both my arms were bandaged, and my legs...my right foot more so than my left. It was actually wrapped in a hard cast, and was elevated. I moved my shoulders. Yep. Those were bandaged too, and I most likely had stitches. My eye watered, and a tear leaked out. "He's not going to want me anymore...I'm too scarred up and broken."

The tear was wiped away. "No, Jerry isn't like that. He'll take you back no matter how badly you've been wounded."

"But...my wounds!" I murmured. "They're awful! They're going to leave some ugly scarrs...and they're all over me."

"Like I said," he said soothingly, "Jerry's not like that. He doesn't care about the outside. He loves you for who you are." It was here that he chuckled. "He'll be eccentric to see you. You've got quite a kiss waiting for you, I'm sure."

This made me smile, but only for a few moments. I fell back into a somber state, and motioned to my belly. "I have burn marks on my belly. He burned me with a cigarette lighter when I said I wasn't afraid of him anymore." I then lifted my bandaged arms next. "He threw me through a mirror...I'm pretty sure that put a few stitches in my back and shoulders."

Mike winced and then flinched noticably. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." I murmured.

"What...How did you break your foot?"

I chuckled bitterly. "I'd rather not discuss it at the moment...it hurts too badly."

A nod was his reply. "Can I get you anything? Water? Food?"

I shook my head. "I don't think I can hold anything down yet."

Again, he only nodded.

I looked up at the heart monitor that I was apparently connected to. It appeared that I had a strong, steady heart beat. Amazing, since it felt so broken. "Do they think I'll recover?"

Mike was quiet.

"Be honest with me." I said gently. "Do they think I'll make a full recovery?"

Mike looked as though he was in pain when he said, "No."

**Please review. Not many of you have, and it's getting very discouraging. I would like to know what you think, and remember, I'm motivated by what you say.**


	25. Ups and Downs

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

I'd grown accustomed to the annoying silence of the hospital. Well, almost silent. It wasn't uncommon to hear squeeking wheels of a food cart, or bed, rolling down the hallways. Murmuring could be heard as well, be it doctors, surgeons, nurses, visitors, or even patients. The beeping of my heart monitor was about to drive me mad, but I was already half-way there. In fact, I'd even heard the doctor talking to Ben in the hallway about it, discussing that I had some head injuries(from being thrown about like an old shoe, mind you), that may have caused mental damage as well. He said that small amounts of my memory had been completely erased, and I'd have to relearn a few things. What things, I didn't remember, I'd have to find out once I was released.

To be honest, I was actually glad that I'd had some memory loss. Some of the horrid memories from my childhood had been completely erased. Oh, I still knew that my father had done awful things to me, as well as some of his friends had. However, I couldn't _remember _what those awful things were that they'd done. When Ben told me about the memory loss(which I already knew of by evesdropping and digging around in my mind), I simply told him, "I didn't lose enough of some of my memories."

What Paul had done was still fresh in my head as well, but I tried to block those memories out. I simply chose to stare off out the large window next to my bed at what little I could see of London. I could see a street or two, with nice little trees lining the sidewalks. I would watch people as they strolled by the street, some looking normal, some dressed as businessmen, punks, skaters, the occasional jogger and/or dog walker, also an occasional stroller-pusher, and others. There was only one face that I was looking for, however, and in a week I still hadn't seen him.

"He's helping around the house," Mike would assure me, who was still in London because, apparently, Ben needed support. "Cora needs help with Amber and Daniel. He'll be along as soon as he can. Don't worry, he's nearly going mad to get here."

I would just sigh and look down at my bruised, battered, bandaged body. This was usually followed by a sympathetic pat to the knee(and I do mean a _light _one, because they were afraid of hurting me), and then another assurance that my boyfriend would love me no matter how wounded and scarred I was. I would just close my eye and lean back against the pillows to act like I was dead to the world...which, in a way, I was.

"Ben?" I murmured one day.

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

Mike and Jess had gone out for lunch, promising to bring Ben and I something back, hence the reason I'd chosen to ask a question that, in my opinion, was a bit emotional.

"Ben, what...abilities, or whatever, did the doctor say I've lost?" After a short pause, I added, "Don't try to make it sound better than it is...Please be honest with me."

My uncle sighed as he put his magazine in his backpack, before bringing his sorrowed gaze to my own. "Well," he murmured, "We're not sure about some of them, but, holding a pen or pencil and writing is one."

"You mean...I don't know how to write anymore?"

He shook his head. "Your brain doesn't remember how to do those things."

"Can I still...read? I remember that I loved to read."

His brows furrowed thoughtfully, and he pulled the magazine from his backpack again. Holding it up, he asked, "Can you read anything on the cover?"

The magazine cover swam in and out of focus, and I gently took it from his hands to bring it closer to my face. After a few moments I mumbled, "_Learn How to Improve Your Cooking Skills._"

A small smile tugged at his lips, and he placed his hand on my knee. "Good. Good girl." he cooed.

I couldn't help but chuckle as I looked back at the magazine. "Improve your cooking skills?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Jess is making me read it. She wants me to be able to cook for you when she has to go back to work. It's actually quite an enjoyable magazine."

I snorted softly and passed the magazine back to him, before looking out the window longingly. I listened to the sounds of the city, such as the engines of the shiny red double-decker buses, impatient drivers honking their horns. I could also hear the more relaxing sounds, such as Big Ben chiming from somewhere near the hospital, and boats idling down the River Thames.

"When do you suppose they'll release me?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to explore the city I'd heard so much about.

"That's more of a Jess question," he said softly, "But, I'm guessing they just want to observe you now...make sure your heart doesn't start acting up again."

A phone rang down the hallway, and I vaguely wondered who it was. I turned slowly, though, just as quickly forgetting about it. "Was it acting up?"

"A bit." he yawned. "A nurse told me that it's nothing serious, but it's enough to keep an eye on."

Leaning back against the pillows, I attempted to scratch an itch beneath the bandages on my forehead. "What else is wrong with me?"

His brows furrowed.

"I mean, what other damage might I have?"

"Oh." he coughed. "I didn't like the way you'd worded that question." he paused to gather his thoughts. "You have some walking issues, but that much is obvious. Uhm," he leaned forward a bit. "Did you hurt your hip?"

A flash of Paul striking me from my perch on the toilet, and the sickening crack of my hip hitting the floor sparked in my mind's eye. "Yeah, I hurt it."

"Mhm." he nodded. "Doc said that may have an effect on your walking, but it all depends on how badly you want to walk. I mean, walk normally, anyway. The more you work on it, the less of a limp you'll have."

I felt my eyes harden with detirmination. "I _will _walk again, and walk well."

A tiny smile caressed Ben's lips. "I know you will. You're too strong a woman to give up easily on anything."

My gaze softened again, and my voice grew soft as well with truth and, I guess you could call it innocence, the way I sounded so child-like. "You know...I nearly gave up."

Any cheerfulness that had been in Ben's eyes and smile disappeared, replaced with cold reality, and I'd say a bit of shock. He sat up a bit straighter, and put his hand on my knee again. "Mhm?" he pressed soflty.

I swallowed. "He'd just started raping me. I wanted to give him hell because no matter how hard I begged, cried and screamed, he wouldn't get off of me. Out of desperation, I dug my fingernails into his face and yanked. He immediately got off of me and locked me in the bathroom. While I was in there, I started to think. I began wondering what the word kind was; what it meant, if it was real or not. I kept thinking that it had to be real, because it had to be what you and the others were treating me with.

"Then those thoughts led to other things I thought you and the others may have been treating me with, such as pity. But I told myself it was something stronger, because I'd felt it when you had. After arguing with myself, I came to the conclusion that at first it had been pity, but it had turned into love. I began to think how I'd never thought it was real. But then I thought of when you'd held me that night and hummed a lullaby to me, and then I _knew _that love is real."

I looked my uncle right in the eyes. "Just knowing that love is real made something...I don't know, send my motivation down an entirely different road. When Paul came back in the room, I started to mock him. I thought if I could get him angry and distracted enough, I'd be able to grab something to defend myself with." I drew in a heavy breath, all of the events playing like a movie in my head. "I told you about the burn marks, and the mirror, but I haven't told you the following."

I swallowed again, though a bit harder. "He flung me against the row full of drawers after he'd thrown me through the mirror, and the impact caused a few of the drawers to open, which also caused some of the weapons in them to bounce out. Paul hadn't noticed...he was too busy trying to calm down because he didn't want to kill me. One of those weapons was a pistol." I shuddered. "He ran at me when he realized I had it, but," My lower lip began to quiver, and my eye became glassy. "B-but...I shot him!" I cried. "I k-killed a man b-because...I w-wanted to t-tell you that I-I'd finally f-figured out that love is real!"

The next thing I knew of was only Ben. I knew of nothing but his strong arms, holding me against him so I wouldn't fall. I knew nothing but his warmth protecting me from my own invisible blizzard. I couldn't hear anything but his voice, warm, tender and loving as he comforted me, telling me it was okay, that he loved me, that I had just been defending myself. I tucked my face in the curve of his neck, my body shaking as it was bombarded with sobs.

But it was okay.

For once in my life, I felt okay about crying my eyes out. And goodness, did I ever cry. I cried until my eyes were red and puffy, and my breaths were labored. My hands clenched two fist-fulls of Ben's dark blue t-shirt, and I seemed to not be able to stop saying the words "I love you" over and over again. Ben would respond with an "I love you, too", and other such things. I don't think he really knew what to do, but he did his best, and it seemed to work. He continued to whisper things to me, place kisses along my face, and allowed one of his hands to trail soothing paths on my back, while the other cupped the back of my head.

"Shh, sweetheart," he murmured. "You're not going to be able to breathe in a moment. Calm down, shh, shh."

I didn't really begin to calm down until he began rocking me side to side about ten minutes later. I tried taking deep breaths, tried to concentrate on his words rather than my thoughts, which only seemed wrecked. My arms fell loosly down his back and sort of just hung there, and hiccups seemed to replace my sobs. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Don't be." he soothed. "You've been through a lot."

"I've wanted to do that for so long...It felt so good to get it all out." I murmured against his shoulder.

"That's good. Some people just need a good cry sometimes. Don't be ashamed of needing to cry, Blake...some days it just helps."

I sniffled. "I'm sorry I hurt you the other day. I don't hate you, you know."

His embrace tightened. "I know...I found your note. I only regret that I hadn't found it before you'd made a scene. I probably could have prevented you from being nabbed."

I drew back slowly, looking him right in the eyes. I was surprised to find tears in them, though he refused to let any of them fall. Cupping his cheeks in my bandaged hands, I whispered strongly, "_None _of this is your fault...it's all mine. I made the decision to run away. I had to protect you, and the others." I sniffled again, and stroked his cheeks with my thumbs. "Oh...the things I go through for you people."

Ben only sighed, allowing his arms to drape around my waist. "I know."

I held his gaze for as long as I dared without speaking, before, actually, becoming quite bored. I also didn't like the atmosphere I'd set up for the room. Letting my hands fall to his shoulders, I asked, "How are things with you and Jess?"

He nodded. "Good. We've gotten closer over the past couple of weeks." At my unsure expression, he cupped my chin and tilted it upward so I was looking directly at him. "I love her, but I love you, too, you know? I'm not going to choose one or the other." he smiled a small smile, "If you start to feel left out, you can just tell me."

I started to reply, only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer as to whether to come in or not, Mike barged in the room, a grin plastered on his face, a red bag clutched in his left hand. "What's this?!" he asked in a mock-surprised tone, "She's sitting up!"

I furrowed my brows as a slight smile crept onto my lips from pure amusement at Mike's enthusiasm, and pulled away from Ben slightly, allowing my hands to remain on his shoulders.

Mike chuckled at my expression and took a seat on the other side of the bed, and then placed the red plastic bag in my lap. He also rewarded me with a kiss to the temple, and leaned close to my ear, "Some goodies in the bag. I know the doctor said no, but being a police officer, I don't see anything wrong with breaking a rule or two for what you think is right...depending on what it is and what you do, of course. Anyway, I think they're starving you here, so..." he smiled again, and gestured toward the bag.

I flicked my amused, yet curious gaze in the direction of the bag and dipped my hand in, feeling around before opening it completely to see what I was feeling...which was a lot of plastic wrap. There was a large sub sandwich, which had been cut in half and wrapped separately so that it would be able to fit in the bag without sticking out. Along with the sandwich were little packets of mayonnaise, mustard, honey mustard, sort of goldish, oil-looking substance, and of course a packet of plastic silverware, complete with a little folded napkin. The next thing that my fingers brushed across was a plastic bag of crisps, cheese flavored. I smiled at that, before moving on to find a small bottle of what looked like soda, and then a small package of chocolates.

I looked up at the two men to find that Jess had come in the room as well, whom had seated herself in a chair by Ben rather than on the mattress. "You approved this?" I asked softly, wondering what the nurse would say.

She chuckled. "I work in a hospital, remember? I know what they serve."

This earned a light chuckle from everyone, including me, before we all fell into silence once again. I leaned back against the pillows with the red bag laying atop my stomach, and sighed. I wasn't really all that hungry, and to be honest, I didn't want to eat with everyone staring at me. So...I just laid there.

I thought I heard a chuckle from Mike's direction. "You look tired."

"Mmm." I sighed.

A large, gentle hand stroked the side of my head, presumably Mike's hand since it was too big to be Ben's and definately too big to be Jess's, followed by, "Relax, love; you can eat it later."

The sheets were pulled to my shoulders as the light weight of the bag was lifted from my stomach, only to be replaced by another hand. Cracking my eyes so that I was looking out of my lashes, I found Ben to be the owner of said hand. I closed my eyes again and put both of my hands on top of his. I could relax as I'd been told. I had accomplished my task of telling Ben what I knew was real, and knew he would tell the others the motive behind my escape.

But as I began to fall asleep, allowing my body to be taken deeply into slumber, I couldn't help but wish that I was holding the hand of the boy that had taught me to talk again; and shortly after, I dreamed of him.

**OKAY. I apologize if this chapter just seemed a bit...random. I've been working on it since I posted the previous chapter, becuase I just didn't feel satisfied with it for a bit. I'm still not satisfied with how it turned out, but, I'll just have to leave it up to you whether you think it's any good or not. Please review, it motivates me! Thank you!**


	26. A Very Unexpected Question

I do not own Midsomer Murders! I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

I felt like I was...floating. Well, not like _floating_, as in levitating, but floating as in laying in a rowboat in the middle of a gentle stream. Actually, my body felt like a heavy rock, and my mind was what was floating; floating on an imaginary watery borderline of sleep and conciousness. It was as though my mind and body were having an argument. _"No, keep sleeping, I'm sore!" _My body would complain. _"No, it's morning; let's get up! Wake up! Wake up!" _My mind would respond. The entire situation only frustrated me, and with a groan I slung my arm over my eyes.

"Ouch."

Brows furrowed, I lolled my head in the direction of the complaint, and found Ben's warm, brown eyes gazing groggily at me. He was also rubbing his left temple, which indicated to me that...I must have hit him in my attempt to relax. "Sorry."

A small smile tugged at the right corner of his mouth as he put his hand down, revealing a small red mark near the end of his eyebrow. "Don't worry about it; your knuckles aren't as hard as you think they are."

Ignoring his comments, I reached out with the hand that I'd struck him with and brushed my fingertips against the reddened area. "How long have you been here?" The curiosity had laced my voice like it would a small child's. I hadn't remembered him falling asleep against the hospital bed...

"About an hour."

My brows knit in confusion again. "Doing what?"

He chuckled. "Just sitting here, watching you."

"Why?"

"Can an uncle not show concern for his niece?" he asked as one of his brows quirked; though there was playfulness shining brightly in his eyes.

My fingertips strayed down his his cheek, before my wrist dropped lightly to his shoulder. He wrapped his long, slender fingers around it as I murmured, "It doesn't feel that way anymore."

Ah, it was his turn to furrow his brows. "What do you mean?"

I laid back a bit more into the pillows, a sigh passing my lips as I tried to find the correct words to describe my feelings. "I mean...it doesn't feel like an uncle/neice relationship anymore...it feels like father/daughter."

His soft eyes searched mine for a few moments, sparkling all the while. "Well, you _are _legally my daughter, since I adopted you a few months ago."

I huffed softly, frustrated at how emberrassed I was beginning to feel. Why was it so hard for me to explain this?! "Well, that was just legally...it didn't feel that way at first and, now it does. I mean...it didn't even feel like you were my uncle at first; you just felt like this random person that was taking me in. Then, you finished the adoption papers and you felt like family, like a distant relative, and then...ugh!"

Ben chuckled slightly at my frustration, and began comfortingly rubbing his thumb up and down a small section of my wrist. "So what you mean to say, is, you were used to not having real family-like care until I took you in, and then we got close, and now it feels-"

"Natural!" I said with a grin. "Yeah, that's it." However, I paused as the happiness slowly slid from my features. "But...I don't think I'm quite ready to call you "dad", yet. "Dad" sounds too...I don't know. For the longest time the person that I called "dad" was very...Not a good father, and it doesn't sound right for you at the moment. I'll have to work at that one." I bowed my head a little. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," my uncle called softly, "Some of the greatest things that people have done or gotten were achieved through patience. Don't fret about this one, alright?" he smiled gently as he completed the last sentence.

Ben's happieness must have been contagious, for a small smile graced my lips as well. "Thank you." Silence ensued then, until I realized that Mike and Jess were nowhere to be found within the small hospital room. "Where have Mike and Jess gotten off to?"

Ben seemed to hesitate before answering, as though he was considering his words, and how to use them carefully. "Jess actually had to go back to work, and Mike went back to Midsommer." he chuckled there. "He said his wife called and said to come and help her with their two youngest children, because Daniel was continually getting upset because he missed his father, Amber was being fussy and waking her up at all hours of the night and he's much past due in his share of the work in helping out in that area, April was starting to get testy having to deal with her obnoxious little brother, and Jerry is about to drive them all up the wall about coming here."

I narrowed my eyes. "You hesitated."

"Hm?"

I sighed. "You hesitated. You do that when you don't know what to say, or you don't want me to know something." And after scrutinizing his facial expression, I said, "You know something, and you're hiding it."

"Mhm." he nodded with wide eyes and knit brows, "I'm considering hiring you by the way you notice everything!" he said with slight amazement. "Think you'd be interested in police work?"

I huffed in frustration. "Ben-"

A loud noise suddenly filled the quiet room and tensed the atmosphere. It caused both Ben and I to jump from startle and turn our heads quickly in the direction of the sound. That loud sound appeared to have been the door when it had banged against the wall, and a sudden loud panting. My eyes widened as I took in the lanky form, the slightly messy black hair, the intelligent and nicely shaped eyebrows, the shining emerald eyes, the well-carved nose and those seemingly perfectly shaped lips, along with that beautifully chisled chin and jaw. My breath was completely stolen away, just like many times before when the young man was in the same room. Jerry Williamson stood, panting and seemingly frantic in the doorway, staring at me. Our eyes locked, emeralds and saphires colliding, and it seemed we couldn't do anything but just that.

"I'm...going to get a cup of coffee." Ben coughed from beside me.

"Uh-huh." I squeeked.

I barely noticed Ben walk out of the room, and barely noticed him close the door. In that instant that the soft click confirmed us complete privacy, Jerry was at the bedside, his arms wrapped around my back, crushing my lips with his. He kissed me like a man that was about to be dragged away to his death sentence, and as though they had a mind of their own my hands reached up and grabbed fistfuls of his hair to steady myself from his "vigorousness". He kissed me so roughly and possessively, that I do believe that I forgot how to perform the simple task of breathing. I squeezed my eyes shut as I began to feel light-headed, and I swear I could see stars behind my eyelids.

When he pulled away, Jerry studied my eyes for a moment, before lunging right back in after taking a deep breath. I gasped into his mouth, which left enough space between my lips that it allowed his tongue to swoop in and search, the feel and taste of it easily bringing whimpers and soft moans from my throat. I vaguely wondered if I would suffocate from the lack of air I was recieving when he broke away again, almost immediately dipping his head down to grip at the esophagus jutting out beneath my skin with his teeth.

"Jerry..." I breathed.

"Shush." he whispered, nipping up and down my throat.

"J-Jerry," I stammered, pushing his head away by his cheeks.

Jerry slid his face from my fingers and pressed it to the area between my neck and shoulder, panting as though he was trying to gain control over himself. He placed lingering kisses just beneath my collar bone, and then whimpered as he forcefully pressed his face back to where it had been against my neck. I wondered vaguely if it was sweat or tears that I was feeling against my skin as I cupped the back of his head, while my other hand rested between his shoulder blades.

"I'm _never _letting you out of my sight again." he panted.

I didn't realize he was practically on the bed with me until he pulled me closer. He was basically sitting on my lap, one leg on each side of my hips, and our torsos pressed tightly against the other. Yeah, it was hurting all of the wounds on my stomach and back, but I didn't particularly care; I only stroked his hair and back as he tried to gain control of his breath.

"I nearly went mad." he went on to say, keeping his face firmly in place. "I didn't know where you were...what he was doing to you." he stopped and took another deep breath. "And then I saw on the news that someone found you nearly..._dead_...on the side of the road."

My heart and stomach clenched at how he seemed to struggle with, and bitterly bite out the word "dead", as though he were going to choke on it. I held him tighter, and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "I'm sorry." I murmured. "I'm sure you know the story behind why I followed the man's orders."

He swallowed hard, and nodded against my neck. "I wanted to kill him." he shuddered. "I wanted to kill him so _badly_."

He pulled away from neck then, allowing me a full view of his face, which quite literally almost caused me to fall back over my pillows and into the headboard. His usually dark green eyes were light, almost like a light green fern, blood-shot, glassy with tears, and puffily outlined with red. Dark circles beneath his eyes told me that he'd barely had any sleep since my abduction, and the usually clean-shaven lower half of his face had semi-dark brown stubble, despite the inky-black of his hair. Speaking of his hair...its usually shiny sheen seemed to have dimmed, and it was very unkept, as though he hadn't even bothered to brush it in the mornings.

My heart seemed to clench and twist just at the sight of his condition, and my shaking hands reached up gently to cup his stubbly cheeks. "Jerry..." I whispered, my tone also shaky and pain-laced. "What've you done to yourself?"

He swallowed again. "I worried myself sick over you."

I felt myself wince. "Did you even eat? Bathe? Sleep?"

I recieved a feeble nod. "I barely slept at all, I didn't eat...much, and yes, I stood in the hot water for a bit."

I could vaguely tell that I was shaking my head. "Jerry..."

His arms slowly pulled from around me as he reached up to cup my cheeks as well, and leaning close to my face, he whispered, "Marry me."

That certainly caught me off guard. My eyebrows arched upward and my eyes widened. Whatever words I'd been about to speak stopped dry in my throat, and my thumbs, which had been rubbing lazy circles on those stubbled cheeks froze. My jaw worked but still, I couldn't get any words to come out.

"Please!" he begged. "Marry me! We...We can stay in a little place somewhere in Midsommer. I'll take care of you, watch you and tend to you every day! Please, please just say yes!" he whispered.

I had to swallow a few times before I could answer, and when I did, my voice sounded hoarse. "Jerry...I'm not even eighteen."

"But you will be!" he said quickly. "You will be in a few weeks. We're completely legal! We don't need our guardians' consent; we're at the age where we can marry legally if we want to."

"What about your dad, and Ben?" I murmured. "You know they're going to say no."

"Don't worry about them." he whispered. "Worry about what you want for once! Be a pirate, be selfish!"

I shook my head, the emotions and pressure building up like a soda can that had been tossed around. "I can't do that! We can't just run away, Jerry!" I closed my eyes for a moment. "What about school? Your education?"

He shook his head, too. "I've already graduated from high school, and so have you." he half chuckled, half sobbed. "Seventeen years old, Blake, and you've already graduated from high school! You don't need school; you were enrolled a year early and still completed it with the older kids without much struggle at all!"

I sighed, seriously considering him with tired eyes. "What about college, Jerry?"

Again, a strangled laugh passed his lips. "I have no plans to go to college, and I don't want to. But if you do, I'm not going to stop you. We could still be together while you go, you know that?" he took a deep breath, held it, and then let it out, seemingly calmer after he did so as he looked me in the eyes. "Tell me, Blake, do you have any plans about going to college? Do you want to go to university?"

"No." I whispered. "I don't have any plans to go to university."

He smiled softly. "Alright then."

"But," I said quickly. "What are you going to do for a job, hm? How are you going to support you, me, the possibility of a kid somewhere _far _down the road, and a house? Ben is always complaining about taxes, Jerry. How are we going to support us and a home if taxes are driving everyone up the walls?"

He chuckled. "I'll do exactly as my dad did; I'll become a constable. Dad seems to get payed well enough. We have to be careful with our budget, but we're getting by. We can do this, Blake." he leaned closer until our lips touched, leaving a light kiss on my lips. "Please, Blake, marry me. I'll take care of us and a house, and I'll ensure that there's always food on the table and money to pay the bills."

I studied his eyes for the longest time. Those eyes that were blood-shot, but still gleamed with the beauty of emeralds, and that were filled with the strongest hope that I would accept him. Placing my arms lightly aroung his neck, I whispered, "Okay, Jerry, I'll marry you."

His lips weren't as rough when they touched mine again. They were still passionate, yes, but that time tender, and gentle. I tightened my arms around his neck in a loving embrace rather than for support like earlier, and just leaned back and enjoyed myself. Hm...he tasted sort of sugary, like he'd just had a treat or something. Of course, this only drew me in more, making me want it to last for as long as possible. I pulled him closer, coaxing my tongue in. Jerry seemed to shiver against me, and whimpered at the intrusion, but did the same as he scooted closer on my lap. My _lap. _It was then that I realized the position we were in, and if someone were to innocently come into the room...

"Jerry," I panted, "You might want to get off the bed. If Ben finds us like this..."

Jerry's brows furrowed as he looked around, and then down, his eyes widening upon the discovery, and quickly crawled off of my lap and into the chair that Ben had been sitting in only minutes before. However, he didn't seem to have a problem with laying over the bed and practically on top of my legs, where his hand strayed to my shin and stroked.

It was about that time that Ben came in the room, seemingly cautiously(and not because he was carrying a full cup of coffee), and studied us for a moment before shutting the door.

"You alright?" I asked him quietly.

He took a sip of his coffee as he seated himself near my feet at the end of the mattress. "I'm fine, why?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or frown. Yes, he'd definately been wondering if he should have stayed in the room with us...and he'd had good reason to wonder. "You seem a bit...uneasy."

He cocked his head to the side and furrowed his brows. "Oh? Why would I be uneasy?" he'd seemed to glance at Jerry for a bit too long when he'd said that...even glared a bit at how he was laying across my upper legs.

"Hospitals get very annoying after a while. Maybe you're just tired of coming to this place, and it's making you grumpy?" I offered.

He took another sip of coffee before he nodded. "Yep...something is definately getting me stirred up."

I couldn't hold it back anymore. I laughed loudly and carelessly, earning yet another puzzled look from Ben, and a smile from Jerry. "Ben, stop looking at Jerry like that."

Ah. He tried looking as though he'd been falsely accused of something. Too bad he'd overexaggerated it a bit too much. "Like what?"

"You're practically glaring at him. Stop it, we didn't do anything wrong." I smiled as my fingers lazily ran through the inky black hair, earning yet another smile as Jerry closed his eyes.

"I know." Ben said as he dipped down for another sip. Looking pointedly over the rim of his styrofoam cup, he added in a decidedly meaningful voice, "I trust your judgement."

I rolled my eyes and scooted myself so that I was laying down again, allowing Jerry to lay across my stomach instead. This earned a frown from Ben from behind his coffee cup, but I only rolled my eyes at him with a sigh. "Ben?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Yes, sweetheart?"

"Please relax."

Ben only gave me another pointed look.

**Thank you Rollieo 122 and FreekyDisaster18 for reviewing! I appreciate you and anyone else that reviews, please keep it up because it is very motivating! I'm sorry if the chapter ended abruptly, but I hope you liked it, and I'll have more out soon! Please review! Thank you!**


	27. Making Amends

I do not own Midsomer Murders; I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

Two weeks after Jerry's visit, Blake was finally deemed fit to leave the hospital and go home. Even brilliant, shining sapphires couldn't compare to the happiness that shined brightly in her sparkling blue eyes, and I couldn't help but smile as I wheeled her out to the car. "Do you still want to see some of London, luv, or do you want to go home?" I asked her as I opened the passenger door.

She looked up at me with a crooked grin, and closed and then opened her eyes slowly as she slurred, "Home, pleeeeeeaase."

A smile pulled partially at my lips as I transferred her from the wheel-chair to the car. She'd taken a rather large dose of pain medication this morning to help with the pain and stress of being moved from the hospital, and then the stress of the long trip. Turns out she was too drugged up to feel any pain at all, or stress. "Alright...we'll come back another time, eh?"

Her brows furrowed slowly, and she didn't remove her arms from around my neck once she was seated in the passenger seat. "The hospital?"

I, too, furrowed my brows before hiding my emotions with a fake little smile. "No, sweetheart, I mean London. We'll come back to London some other time."

Her hold on me loosened, and the sloppy grin returned. "Oh! Yeah, we'll come visit London some other time."

The smile turned into a slight grimace(for the condition my poor child was in), as I gently pulled her arms from my shoulders(which flopped into her lap as though they had no bones), and returned the wheel-chair to the hospital before I started the car up. I don't think I'd ever been happier to leave a building than I was when I finally pulled out onto the main highway into/out of London, and actually seemed to sink against my seat as I put the car on "cruise". A quick glance in Blake's direction told me that she, too, was both happy and relieved, hence the crooked grin and partially-closed eyes as she sloppily counted the number of cars that zoomed by, headed to London.

"How do you feel, luv?"

"Hmm..?" she drawled out as she slowly, if not in a seemingly drunken manner, turned her head to look at me. "Oh, I feel woooooooooonderful, Ben!" she laughed(a bit hysterically, I might add). "Why?"

"No reason, just asking." I said feebly, reaching into the backseat. "I brought your pillow from home; thought you might be a bit drowsy."

If possible, Blake's eyes lit up even more, and she weakly hugged the navy-blue pillow against her form as though it was a gift she'd always wanted. "Thank yoooooooooooouuu!" she squealed.

My eyes widened at the same time that my brows furrowed. "It's just a pillow, dear."

A soft outburst of giggles sounded high in her throat. "But I've missed it! It's mmmmmyyyyyy pillow, and I haven't seen it in a loooooooooong time!"

I'd known all along that it was going to be a long drive.

* * *

By the time we got home, the medication had worn off considerably. Blake wasn't as "out there" as she'd been earlier, but her spirits were still high. She still wore a crooked smile, and she took in all of her surroundings fondly, sort of like two good friends or family members would look at each other after they hadn't seen each other in quite a time.

"Ah, no you don't!" I scolded when she tried to stand unaccompanied from the car. With one fluid motion I lifted her up and into my arms, earning a soft, surprised squeak from her. "You're not supposed to be on your feet for several more weeks."

"I can walk." she defended softly.

I rose a brow at her and glanced briefly at the neon-green cast on her right leg.

"Okay," she sighed, "I can hop."

I couldn't help but snort as I made my way onto the porch. "Oh yes, I'm going to keep a _very _close eye on you...Not that I mind." I added with a small smile.

Blake smiled as well, and reached down to twist the doorknob once we'd reached the front door.

I made my way into the house after pushing the door open with my foot, revealing the brightly lit living room, the kitchen just past it, and the "Welcome Home" sign hanging up in said room. "Well?" I smiled.

* * *

I walked in just in time to see Ben seat himself across from Blake at the table. Both appeared exhausted, yet too happy to cave in to the feeling. I was glad to finally see Ben smiling, seeing as he'd barely smiled at all while Blake was in the hospital. It made a warm feeling spring up into my chest and flow out into my limbs, almost causing me to drop the cake that I'd just retrieved from the freezer.

"You bought a sign for me?" Blake asked quietly.

Ben smiled sweetly and pat the top of one of those scarred hands. "It was worth it to see the look on your face."

It was then that I decided to make my move, and walked quietly to the table, easing the cake down between the two occupants. "We got you a cake as well." I smiled, daring to squeeze one of her shoulders.

Blake stared up at me with big blue eyes, acting as though she was surprised to see me there before her. Was she still angry with me? It seemed as though she was just studying me, taking in my clothing and expression, before slowly turning to look at the cake, then me, and then Ben again. "Cake, too?"

"Mhm." he smiled.

My heart skipped.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her. "We can save it for lunch tomorrow."

"I don't want to disappoint you." she murmured.

"You won't." he assured her, "It's late, and we're all exhausted; I was actually hoping we could wait until tomorrow." he chuckled.

Again, my heart skipped a beat.

"Okay." she nodded.

Finally those warm brown eyes turned to gaze up at me, causing the warm feeling to well up again. He smiled and motioned to the cake. "If you could put it back in the freezer, Jess, I'll get her situated."

I nodded at him with a lightly happy expression, and carried out the task as he lifted the young woman into his arms. I didn't realize until I glanced at his back that Blake was staring at me from over Ben's shoulder, half of her nose and down covered by it. I'm not sure, but I think those eyes that spoke were full of sorrow, and quite apologetic as though she was sorry for something. I held her gaze until I could no longer see it due to her bedroom walls, before turning to the refridgerator for a drink.

* * *

I'd gone through a glass and a half of wine before Ben finally got back(I did drink it slowly, mind you), and had grown reasonably more tired as well. My caramel hair fell lazily and carelessly down in my face, my eyes were only partially open due to drowsiness, and my fingers played sloppily at the handle of my wine glass. I did smile, however, when a large, gentle hand brushed the hair from my face and tucked it gently behind my ears, before a lingering kiss was pressed to my temple.

"Am I going to have to carry you to your bedroom as well?" Ben asked lightly as he took a seat across from me.

I poured him his own glass of wine and leaned back in my seat. "No, I can make it on my own, thanks."

Ben smiled lightly into his wine glass, took a delicate sip, and then turned his attention to me again. "What's the matter?"

I furrowed my brows as I took a sip of my own. "Did I say anything was the matter?"

He shook his head, "No, you're just acting a bit more different than usual."

I closed my eyes lazily before sipping yet again. "Maybe I've had too much wine?"

He chuckled humorlessly. "I wasn't implying that you're drunk; I meant that your behavior seems a bit strange."

With a bit of a struggle my lids opened again, and carefully I pushed the wine glass aside to fully focus on the man before me. I smiled, I guess you could say a bit sloppily, and leaned forward a bit. "You've made me happy." I said simply.

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

I reached for one of his hands. "You've made me happy by simply smiling more."

His expression didn't change. "Have I not been smiling much?"

"No. You didn't smile much while Blake was in the hospital."

His brows returned to their normal positions. "I was worried."

"I know," I nodded lazily, "I was just pointing out that you're doing it more now, and it's made me happy."

He seemed to think about it before he actually smiled, causing my heart to skip again, and fully took my hand into both of his after pushing the wine glass aside. "Glad I could help."

We just sat there, then, in the silence of the room, holding each other's hands, staring into each other's eyes. We hadn't had a moment like that in a long time, and just the feel of it made my body begin to tremble. If he only knew of the things he did to me without knowing it...

"I'd...better go to bed." he said softly.

Both of us stood, but our hands didn't fall from each other's. I turned him to fully face me, and still holding his hands, stood up on my toes to place a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. I chuckled silently to myself when he seemed a bit dazed after I pulled away, and when he asked what it had been for I simply said, "I told you, you've made me happy. Go on to bed, now; you need strength for tomorrow."

My eyes followed his form until he closed his bedroom door behind him, and then seeked out another closed door as my body seemed to move on its own. I knocked softly on it once I'd reached it, and was surprised when I actually got an answer to come in. Blake was resting back on her elbows, staring at me when I entered the room, tired but fully awake as she watched my every move.

"I'd like to talk to you." I told her.

She nodded, making herself comfortable again on the small mattress. "Yeah, I think we have a few things to discuss." A humorless chuckle escaped her throat, making me wonder if this was the right time to discuss what was on my mind. Scooting herself over, she patted the mattress lightly before flopping down as though she had no energy left. "Have a seat."

I was a bit hesitant, vaguely wondering if I should stay out of striking distance in case she was still angry with me, but then after seeing the completely calm(and somewhat sorrowful, judging by her eyes) expression, I perched myself lightly on the edge and gazed down at her.

"M-...May I go first?"

Her tone of voice certainly revealed she _was, _in fact, feeling awful about _something_. Really, how could anyone ignore those large, sapphire eyes anyway? With a small sigh(more from exhaustion than anything else), I nodded. "Go ahead."

She swallowed, and seemed hesitant(still more sorry than anything), and didn't look up at me for a good few moments. She brushed a few stray strands of her mud-colored hair from her face as she struggled to sit up, yet waved my hands away when I offered her help. "I want to talk about...how I treated you...for all those months." she stated timidly, finally bringing her eyes to mine, "I'm still a bit new at this...communication stuff. Ben...I've never gotten so close to anyone so quickly as I have Ben." she paused for a moment to let out a long sigh, "Then he got hurt...and I took it upon myself to make sure _nothing _horrible like that would ever happen to him again.

"I guess you could say I got..._very _protective over him. Then he became your assignment to take care of...to nurse back to health and make sure he took all of his medication, monitor his healing and what not. I felt like it was _my _job to do all of that...that it was the _least _I could do for getting him in that situation in the first place." she paused again to drag in a long breath, and then slowly let it out, "Then I noticed that he had some sort of feelings for you...and I could tell that they were growing stronger." her gaze focused directly into my eyes, as though she were trying to look into my very soul, "I became badly afraid that you were going to take him away from me...and he was, and is, all that I have other than the Williamsons. He's my last family member...and he taught me how to trust him, and others.

"But then, I saw that he was falling in love with you, and my shields went up any time you were near him...or me. I didn't trust you, so I treated you the way I did because I thought it would help me to protect Ben." she glanced up at the ceiling, then, furrowing her brows thoughtfully, "The only problem is...I'd been so used to keeping my feelings bottled up and hidden away that I didn't even think about telling Ben how the whole situation was affecting me. I just...I got so frustrated! I wasn't fair about any of it at all, and when it all finally got out in the open, I just wanted to do what I'd never been able to do...which was run." With one last, detirmined, shaky sigh, she brought her eyes to mine again, "So I guess I'm just trying to say that I got scared, and I treated you unfairly because of it. I'm..." she swallowed hard, "I'm sorry, I guess is what it all comes down to."

I stared into her eyes for a few moments, allowing the silence to pass between us so I could let her words sink in completely. She was just a scared kid...Well, a young woman, a strong one at that, but inside, a scared child clinging to the one person she knew would never hurt her the way she'd been hurt by others...that she depended on...that she _loved. _I had to think about how to react; this had obviously taken a great deal for her to tell me, seeing as from what was implied to me, she was still a bit scared of leaving that hard, secure shell. Who could blame her? She'd been beaten down and trampled on for nearly all the years of her short, but very eventful life. Certainly not me. I did notice that my respect for this person was growing. I had to respect her. She'd endured a lot, and hadn't given up on life like most would after everything that had been inflicted upon her. But, part of me also still saw her as that scared child, clinging to the strong arm of that one man that she had absolute trust in.

I nodded, silently assuring her that I'd listened the entire while, and though she flinched a small bit at my touch, took one of those scarred hands in my own. "I can't say that I completely understand," I started softly, "Seeing as I've never been in all of the situations that you've been in. However, I do understand your protectiveness...and I respect you for it. But, I think, to some degree, I can empathize with you." I took in a deep breath, much like Blake had, to gather my thoughts. This was going to take a bit of work to get out. "I was abused by my husband a few years ago. He was cheating on me, and was getting sick of being with me instead of her. When I would question him, he would hurt me. When we finally divorced...I started hanging out with my friends a lot more. I became particularly clingy with one of my male friends in particular, and, just like you were with Ben, got very protective over him. I believe that one day he'd just had enough, told me he was tired of my "fooling around with men and my rubbish", and told me to stop hanging around with him."

I paused to collect my thoughts, and then gazed down at the teen. "Just to make things perfectly clear, I _never _fooled around with any men. I was just hurt, and clingy, and the guy just wanted to be particularly hurtful to get his point across."

Blake was silent for a moment, before another humorless chuckle passed her lips. "You're not much different than me at all." she whispered.

"Not really." I agreed, a tiny smile on my lips. I then leaned over a little, giving her hand a light squeeze. "And I want you to know, I would never steal your uncle Ben away from you, and if you asked him, I bet he'd say he'll be a bit more careful with how much time he spends with each of us."

"Yeah," she smiled. "He already told me that...while I was in the hospital."

"Speaking of which...how did he do while I was gone? He was acting a bit unstable some days."

She quirked her brows thoughtfully as she looked up at the ceiling...a look was beginning to familiarize with as just one of her normal thinking poses. She thought like that for a few moments, before a small, soft laugh escaped her throat, and she looked over at me again. "He did fine, really. The only time he acted strange was when Jerry was around. He was awfully protective...casting looks and glares at him like a father would his daughter's boyfriend. It was actually quite funny."

I laughed, visualizing the scene. "That's to be expected. He feels awful about what happened...I wouldn't doubt it if he starts acting like a mother hen. Just take it with a good attitude, joke around with him about it, and it'll all be fine."

"I've already done all of those things...I'm just a bit more worried about Jerry; he's gotten really clingy. It took both me and Ben to convince him to go home a day ahead of us so he wouldn't have to drive home in the dark, like we'd had to. I thought Ben was going to strike him at one point!" she laughed...shortly before wincing and clutching at her stomach.

"You alright?"

She didn't answer me, but rolled over on her side in my direction, still wincing and clutching. She did this for a few good moments before her one uncovered eye finally opened, and then she let out a breath slowly. "I'm fine...I've gotten used to it by now. I've been feeling sick a little every day...I doubt that it's anything to worry about." she looked up at me with a pained smile. "I'm still healing...and I'll bet I'm still feeling woozy from that disgusting hospital food."

I nodded sympathetically. "I wouldn't doubt it...the stuff is awful. Just get some sleep, and I'll check on you in the morning, okay?"

She nodded greatfully, and closed her eyes. However, when I got up, she motioned for me not to go anywhere, and held her hand out. "Blake Jones, by the way." she smiled feebly.

With my own weak smile, I walked back to her, and took that scarred, bandaged hand in my own. "Jess Taylor. Nice to meet you."

**I don't know about you, but I think I like it when Blake is a bit loopy from pain meds! Lol! Apologies if the first half was just rubbish...I just wasn't feeling the characters or the chapter, but I _was_ trying my best. Anyway, I thank all of you for helping me out with a few ideas...so I'm guessing you all know what's coming...or might be coming. Anyway, thanks all, and please review, because you know it motivates me! Thank you!**


	28. Promises

I do not own Midsomer Murders; I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

_Ben's POV_

Being sick every other morning is not fun. It's especially not fun if you're the one holding the sick person's hair back to keep anything from getting in it. This morning I couldn't help but hurt mentally _and _physically for my dear Blake; this bit of regurgitation was more brutal than any of the other mornings that she'd been sick...so much more brutal that not only was I having to hold her up because of her broken leg, but also because the lurches that were shooting up her body were so violent. A few small beads of sweat trailed down from Blake's forehead to her cheeks, mingling with the tears that fell lower to her jaw-line. I tightened my arm around her rib area as another awful lurch forced her body forward a few inches, and watched helplessly as more tears were squeezed from her tear ducts as she gripped the sides of the toilet bowl. Her breathing was heavy and gasp-like, and I could only imagine how bad the strain on her body was.

After a few more lurches, a small bit of gagging and coughing, and then after blowing her nose for a few brief moments, Blake released the top of the toilet bowl, her legs seemingly losing any bone in them because they seemed to lose all support after she released her death-grip.

"Do you think that's it?" I asked sympathetically.

She gave me a feeble nod. "Don't move me yet...I'm not ready for it."

"What do you want me to do?"

She took in a shaky breath as her trembling hands came to rest on my arm, which was still wrapped securely around her rib area. "Let's just stay here for a bit...allow me to catch my breath...and make sure I didn't lose any internal organs." she attempted a chuckle, but it only led to a short coughing fit.

I wordlessly leaned back against the wall to the right of the toilet, easing Blake between my legs so that her upper body could lay against my torso, and her head beneath my chin. I then lowered the toilet lid and flushed it, before wrapping my arms around the trembling person that seemed to clutch frantically at my shirt as though just holding onto me would make her well again.

"I'm dying." she moaned.

The agony in her voice only made me tighten my arms around her. She couldn't be dying. Most of the damage that had been done to her was from being thrown around...at least, that's what the doctors had told me. They didn't say that they'd seen any internal damage during surgery, or anything up that alley. "You're not dying." I murmured against the top of her head, before placing a kiss there. "Your body is just...fighting off infection. You're going to be fine, I promise."

Blake didn't say anything. Blake just laid there, hot, red, sweaty and panting, her fingers weakly tracing one of the ocean waves on my black t-shirt. Her glassy eyes appeared to glaze over as she focused boredly on the picture, her breaths becoming more and more less labored. "I can hear your heart beating." she whispered.

I raised my brows at the random bit of information. "That's good news."

Blake's eyes closed as a good-natured smile tugged at the corners of her lips, and she feebly took my hand in her own, and placed it on her throat. "What about mine? Can you feel a pulse?" she took in a shaky breath, hesitated, and then murmured, "I can't."

"Yes," I assured, "There's a pulse."

I tried to relax as the silence fell over us, the only sounds in the small loo being our breathing, and for Blake, my heartbeat. Usually, silence doesn't bother me. Silence is usually comforting, and relaxing to a tired mind and body. This time, however, I couldn't help but find myself feeling a bit uneasy...and slightly anxious. Something wasn't right. There had to be a reason Blake's body was doing all these strange things. Every morning she claimed to feel nauseated, and without fail, would lose a little of any food she tried to hold down. She also said she'd been getting frequent headaches...some only lasting an hour or two, some lasting from the time she woke to the time she went to bed.

These things in mind, I looked down at her again, and began stroking her hair as I asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Better." she murmured. "But...I feel a bit light-headed."

"Do you feel well enough for me to move you?"

She took in a deep breath, and held it before nodding. "Yeah...you can try."

It was a trick to get up without moving Blake too much...a failed attempt, in fact. I ended up having to lift her, then set her back down so I could gain my feet, and then lift her up again to carry her the short distance to her bed.

It was about the time that I pulled the covers over Blake's trembling body that Jess came in, looking tired and over-worked from her job. She made her way to Blake's room, her expression uncertain upon seeing me bent over my daughter with a blank expression. "What's happened here?"

"She's been sick."

"Again?"

I didn't have time to step back before I was lightly pushed back, Jess having gone into what I favor calling, 'nurse mode'. The moment would have been a bit humorous due to her still wearing her light purple scrubs...had the situation not been so serious.

"Did you eat anything rotten?" Jess asked, laying her hand on Blake's forehead.

"I haven't eaten." Blake groaned.

"What are these red dots, here, beneath her eyebrows?" I asked curiously, pointing.

Jess looked down at them with a bit less worry, acting as though she wasn't too concerned about these strange dots. "Broken blood vessles. They're from the amount of stress that was put on her body from the regurgitation. Nothing to worry about, really; they'll fade and then go away in a few days...if the regurgitation stops soon." Then turning back to Blake, "You haven't had anything at all, today? Nothing that would upset your stomach?"

Blake shook her head weakly. "No...I can't keep anything down...I haven't attempted to eat."

With a gentle smile and one last stroke to Blake's hair, Jess stood. "Just try to relax...Read a book, watch some television. Just don't move around too much, alright?"

"No worries..." she moaned.

Jess turned her back to Blake, then, her expression having gone from gentle to completely serious...to her 'nurse mode' expression. _"We need to talk." _she mouthed.

I nodded silently and shut the door behind us, waiting until we were in the kitchen to speak. "What is it? What's the matter?"

"How long has she been like this? The fever? The regurgitation?"

I walked to the sink, which had a window that allowed a view of the back yard. The lush, green grass looked to have a silver sheen due to the moist, morning dew. It also looked a bit chilly out, as well, because I could feel the coolness radiating lightly from the glass. The sky wasn't blue, as usual, but a somber shade of gray, and overcast. Not even the sounds of birds chirping could be heard, or dogs barking, or children laughing and running around; it was all just that eery, unrelaxing silence.

A gentle hand was placed on my shoulder, the fingers squeezing lightly, the nails scratching gently. "How long, Ben?" Came that soft voice.

My shoulders began to relax at the manipulations being performed from one shoulder to the other, and finally I dropped my head at the loosening up I was recieving.

"How long?" she whispered.

"Since she was released from the hospital." I murmured. "Could it just be a virus? Stomach bug?"

From the corner of my eye I could tell she was shaking her head. "I've never heard of a stomach bug lasting for half a month."

"What about a virus?"

She was a bit slower in answering, acting as though she'd had to think out her answer, like she was being careful with her words. "If it's a virus...she needs to be taken back to the doctor. As a matter of fact...what time is it?"

I rubbed my eyes before pulling back my sleeve, revealing my wrist watch. "Not even noon."

"Okay. Let's take her to my office, have some tests done, get this figured out. I don't think we should wait any longer, Ben...this could be serious."

* * *

_Blake's POV_

Terrible. Awful. Disgusting. Nay...none of these words came _close _to describing the feeling in my body. Ghastly. Atrocious. Vulger. There we go. As if my morning hadn't been bad enough, bent over the toilet losing my insides, the rest of the day had been spent at the local Causton Clinic, having urine and blood samples taken. Being stuck with needles didn't help the nausea much, either. I wasn't difficult in any way, mind you. I did everything I was told to do, even when trying to keep myself from hurting more. My _veins_ were difficult, in this case. Apparently, the veins in my arms are deep, thus making it difficult to get a needle in one to get blood. I don't know how many times I was poked before Jess decided she would have to go into one of the nice, plump veins in one of my wrists(which was an immediate success).

Jess then had me sit in one of the patient rooms while she examined me, listening to my heart, looking in my eyes and ears with her otoscope, testing reflexes and what not. She also had me lay down and lift my shirt up a bit, so she could feel and prod a few areas on my belly, asking where it hurt or where it didn't. She then checked my temperature and so forth, and noted that it was too high, that I was running high fever.

There was a highlight in this entire ordeal, however. I'd forgotten that Cora Williamson worked at Causton Clinic as well, as a doctor and sometimes as an assistant. She paid us a visit as soon as she found out we were there, and did her own little examination of me as well. "So, how are we feeling?" she asked, rubbing two points just beneath my jaw with her fingertips.

I didn't bother with words...I only groaned.

"Just, sick." Ben voiced for me. "Headaches, nausea, regurgitation."

Cora looked on at me sympathetically. "Have you tried eating or drinking anything? Crackers? Soup? Sports drinks?"

"She can't hold any of it down." Ben said quietly, coming to stand in front of me, between Jess and Cora. "I've tried all of those home remedies, and medicine hasn't worked either."

Cora turned to Jess. "Have we done any tests?"

She nodded. "Urine and blood samples. I sent them to the lab about an hour ago...we should be getting results tomorrow."

"Good." she murmured, turning back to me again. "Just take it easy until then, aye?" she smiled. "You know the drill. Plenty of fluids, lots of rest. Rest especially. You'd be surprised how much going to bed early can help."

I gave her a feeble nod.

"And I'll try to keep my son away." she chuckled. "Goodness knows he'll be trying to come over."

Ben scowled at this, and I could have sworn he'd growled in the base of his throat.

"He's just attentive." I defended.

Cora chuckled at this. "No worries, Ben. Extra chores and a close eye should make sure he doesn't sneak away from the house. He has the best of intentions in mind, that's all."

Both Cora and Jess only chuckled when they got the same answer from him, which was an uncharacteristic growl. I could only roll my eyes.

* * *

By night-fall I was feeling much better, having followed the doctor's orders. Plenty of rest, plenty of liquids, blah, blah. I was feeling rather restless, however, having taken a few naps during the day, trying to sleep off some of the headaches and cramping. I was bundled up more than usual, the temperature having dropped outside due to a cold-front that was blowing through. I was dressed in my usual black pajama pants, with a same color long-sleeved shirt instead of a tank-top. My hair, which had grown out from shoulder-length to part-way down my back, was out of a pony-tail for once and rested on my left shoulder.

I heaved a light sigh as I pulled the comforter from my legs to my stomach, and made yet another attempt to fall asleep by closing my eyes. Counting sheep had become very old at this point, as well as trying to figure out what was wrong with my body...which was only worrying and upsetting. I began to wonder if my torment would ever end when there was a...tap, on my window. My brows furrowed on their own accord as my eyes opened. It wasn't impossible for someone to tap on the window, since our house was only one story, but it was very concerning...or supposed to be, anyway. I already had an idea of who it could be when I sat up, and my eyes confirmed it.

I opened the window, slowly and with a wince at the dull pain in my abdomen, and allowed my face to take the full blunt of the cool night air. "Jerry, what are you doing here?" I whispered.

"Checking on my future bride." he whispered back, smiling as he climbed through the window and onto my bed.

I closed the window as he made himself comfortable on my mattress, and then turned, only to meet his lips when I'd tried to face him. He tasted like chocolate, this time, nice and sweet, though not as alluring as usual due to the fact that I was still startled by his appearence...and sudden kiss.

"I've missed you." he murmured, reaching up to play with some of my mud-colored hair. "My parents have been working non-stop at keeping me busy around the house."

"It's one in the morning." Was all I said.

"I wanted to make sure everyone would be asleep when I left." he smiled. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Yes," I smiled lightly, "But, not under these circumstances."

"Apparently, you've been sick," he said softly, "And neither my parents or Ben want me over here. This is the only way I could see you while you're like this." he leaned in to place another kiss on my lips, and then helped me ease myself down, before laying down in front of me.

"So...aren't you afraid you're going to catch what I have?" I asked uncertainly.

"No." he answered. "I take my vitamins daily."

I chuckled a soft, short, humorless chuckle. "That doesn't mean you should just throw caution to the wind."

He only smiled again. "But I will, for you. By the way...when are we going to tell them...you know...about the proposal?"

I swallowed, and began playing with a few strands of my own hair. "Not for a while. We need to wait until I get over this...whatever it is, and then I think we should wait a bit longer."

Jerry's brows furrowed, and he, too, began playing with my hair. "How much longer?"

"At least...at least a year or two." At his expression, I added, "And let's face it, Jerry, you really aren't on Ben's good list right now. He'd definately have a fit if we brought this up all of a sudden, while he's still suspicious of you."

"What's there to be suspicious of?" he asked sourly.

"Well..." I murmured, "You're a teenage boy, to begin with. Teenage boys have a tendency to think of one thing when they're near a teenage girl. We're in a serious relationship with each other, and you're very attentive. He's worried about what's on your mind when you're near me, what your intentions are, and what we're doing when no one's looking. He practically growls at the mention of your name, Jerry. Trust me when I say we need to wait for the most opportune moment we can to bring up marriage." I sighed. "It may be awhile yet before we can bring it up."

Jerry sighed as well, moving his fingers from my hair to my jaw line, where he traced it lightly. "But I want you now." he whispered.

I backed away from his touch and sat up, earning a blank expression. "Why? What good am I to you?"

The blankness in his eyes turned to affection as he, too, sat up. "We've been over this, Blake. I love you."

"But why?" I whispered loudly, almost exasperatedly. "Why? I'm scarred up to the point that my skin has no beauty to it anymore, my past is awful, even though I can't remember some of it...and...and...I feel like I'm going nowhere in life, Jerry! I'm just...existing."

It caught me very much off guard when Jerry clasped his hand over my mouth, and then pushed me down to the mattress again. When he released my mouth, he laid down as well, and then pulled me against him tightly, causing me to gasp when he wrapped his arms and legs around my body, allowing me no space to move. "First off," he said, his voice low and dangerous, "I don't care how bad you think your scarrs are; you should be proud of them. They show that you have strength, and that you have the detirmination to get through rough times. They've become a part of you, and they'll always intrigue me.

"Second, the past is the past. You couldn't help that you got the parents that you did, and you couldn't help what happened to you. Yes, I'm angry that you had to go through rape, it's an awful thing. But it's over with, and you're safe, and your mine, and I'll never force myself on you. Third, you have a lot of potential, you're intelligent, and you're detirmined. I'll see to it myself that you'll get somewhere in life, and I can guarentee that Ben will, too. You're a beautiful person, you're an intelligent person, you're mine, and I love you."

With that, my lips were claimed, there was nothing I could do about it, and there was nothing that I wanted to do about it. The taste of chocolate was very tempting, and after a bit of searching with my tongue, I confirmed that he'd had some sort of chocolate sweet before he'd tapped on my window. I allowed myself to be held, kissed, caressed, and returned the favor. My fingers dove into that ink-black hair while my tongue dueled with his. There was no space between our bodies, and our legs became tangled to the point that I didn't know who's legs were who's. I allowed myself to lay in this bliss until my eyes widened in realization that I was laying under Jerry, and Jerry's kisses had trailed down to my collar bone. I shoved him off of me with my remaining strength and energy, and laid there panting and sweaty, trying to make it dawn on me what had almost happened.

"What's...the matter?" Jerry panted, rolling himself over on his side to face me.

"We can _never _take it that far again." I whispered, wiping my brow.

"Why? What's the matter?" he asked, clearly confused.

I forced myself to sit up, and looked down at him. "I may have been taken advantage of, many times, Jerry, but I'd really like to save it for my wedding night."

"What-"

"Don't." I growled. "Don't. I'm tired of all of this one-night stuff. If I share myself with someone, I want to make sure that someone won't leave me, and I want to make sure that person doesn't just want me for my body. I want to wait for my wedding night, and I want you to respect that, please." I sighed, then, at the surprised expression on Jerry's face. "And please, don't go off and find someone to have it with because I won't give it to you yet. If anything, prove that you love me that way. I've been taken advantage of too many times, and I've gone through the heartbreak of someone having me and then leaving me, one time, and I'm never going through that again. Promise me, please."

The confusion slowly slid from Jerry's features, and he sat up, still a bit bewildered, but looked me in the eyes and nodded. "I promise, I won't go off and find someone to sleep with...I'm not like that. I'll wait for you."

I stared into his eyes for what felt like more than just minutes, and then nodded. "Okay. That been said...I think you should leave now. Ben has the tendency to get up and check on me...Sometimes he can't get a straight night of sleep."

Jerry nodded as well. "Alright...but expect to see me soon."

With that, he was gone. Minutes later, surprisingly, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Well...I wasn't expecting to have this up so quickly. Hopefully you like it, though. Apologies for the bits of randomness, like Cora and Jerry popping up all of a sudden, Lol. Hopefully it wasn't too random, and hopefully I'll have the next chapter up quickly. By the way, FreekyDisaster18, "confoozled"? LOVE IT! New favorite word! Matteic, I'm really leaning for that idea...you'll just have to wait for the next chapter, of which I'll reveal whether or not I'll go with it. As for Ben and Jess, I've fallen in-love with the idea of them. Please review, peoples! I really appreciate it when you do! Thank you!**


	29. Breaking the News

I do not own Midsomer Murders; I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

_Ben's POV_

Morning found me standing at the kitchen window again, staring out at the back yard, trying to enjoy a cup of coffee. Trying, being the key word in this case. Maybe I was just waiting for the usual sounds and events, like the sound of Blake struggling out of bed, and stumbling to the loo, whimpering when she finally reached it. I guess it was a good sign that I'd been up for an hour and hadn't heard it yet. There was nothing but silence...a peaceful silence this time, with birds actually chirping. I'm guessing that the chirping also had something to do with the weather, because for once, the sky was blue and the sun was shining. The lush green grass of my backyard shimmered and sparkled in the sunlight because of the fresh morning dew, and the little trees that I'd planted not too long ago swayed gently in a crisp breeze. Altogether, it was a very beautiful, peaceful morning.

I began to wonder how long it would last, though. Living so close to the village of Midsomer, peaceful mornings were notorious for turning violently downhill. I took another sip of coffee, held it as I listened, and then swallowed upon getting nothing but silence. Maybe she'd made it to the loo before I'd gotten up, and was still in there? Only one way to find out. I walked quietly to Blake's room with a relaxed grip on my coffee mug, and knocked lightly on the dark brown door. "Blake?" I called.

No answer.

I knocked again and got the same result, and after a third time I went on ahead and opened the door. Blake was lying in bed, sprawled out on the mattress, fast asleep. I raised my eyebrows in amusement to this and walked fully in the room, not bothering to shut the door behind me, and eased my coffee mug down so I could have both hands to place the leg and arm that were hanging over the side back onto the mattress. Blake groaned in her sleep when I attempted my task, and rolled over so that her back was facing me, before falling still again. With a slight smile I pulled the covers to her shoulders, then leaned down quietly, and placed a lingering kiss on her exposed temple. "Rest well, luv." I murmured.

I don't know how long I sat and stared before the sound of the front door opening shook me out of my slight reverie. I grabbed my coffee mug from the floor and cautiously left the room, only to find Jess closing the front door, and Cora standing in the middle of the living room. I furrowed my brows and closed Blake's door as well; it was much too early for Jess to be back from work, as well as Cora. "Ladies." I murmured.

"Ben." Cora nodded, greeting me with a usual kiss to the cheek. "You may want to sit down."

I should have become suspicious when Cora had kissed my cheek. It was much harder than usual, and had lingered, instead of just the light, brief kiss I'd become accustomed to when greeting Cora. "What's the matter?"

Jess wrapped her fingers around my wrist and led me gently to the kitchen, where she pulled a chair out for me at the dining table. "Sit down, darling." she whispered.

I did so, and looked suspiciously and puzzled at the two women. "What's going on?" I asked slowly. However, it was then that I noticed the manilla folder in Cora's two hands, and immediately wanted to go into panic mode. Blake's test results. "What's wrong with her?" My voice had sounded frantic without my consent. I couldn't be frantic. Police officers don't go frantic. Police officers stay calm and controlled. But this wasn't a police job, and I couldn't seem to calm down.

Cora placed the manilla folder lightly into my hands, and nodded towards it, not bothering to speak. She looked very sorrowful, and worried, but didn't say anything, didn't even make eye contact with me. Jess came to stand behind me and squeezed both of my shoulders, also not bothering to say anything.

Now in a semi-reined in panic, I opened the folder with shaking hands, and pulled out the results. My eyes flew across the page, widened, and then flew across it again. Unable to believe it, I read it a third time, slowly. After the fifth time, I allowed the paper to fall from my hands to the table, and stared straight ahead at the wall. One word had just ruined my peaceful day. One word had just ruined Blake's life. One word sent me into numbness, to a point that I couldn't feel my arms, legs, anything. "She can't be." My own voice had even sounded foreign to me.

Cora nodded, finally dragging her gaze to meet mine. "She is."

I looked down at the paper, then back to her. "This has to be wrong!"

Cora's hand joined one of Jess's on my shoulder, and she shook her head sadly. "We had them redo the tests twice."

I stared into Cora's light green eyes, feeling my own begin to glass over, and then looked down at the paper. "But, who's the...?"

"You'll have to ask her that." she murmured.

I craned my neck to look up at Jess, who was still standing behind me, recieving a kiss to the forehead when I did so. "How am I going to break it to her?"

"You'll just have to tell her...That's the easiest way, I'm afraid."

I stared at the wall for what felt like quite a while, and then looked down at the paper again as though to assure myself. "But...she's acting like she feels so much better. She...She actually slept in today."

"It can have different effects, Ben." Cora put in, "One moment you wake up feeling wonderful, the next moment you'll be bent over a toilet."

I put the results back in the folder and pushed it away, as though keeping the information covered would make it not real. How was I supposed to break the news to her? I mean, I'd delivered bad news to the family of a murder victim before, but, this was _my _family now. How would I...go about it?

It was about that time that Blake walked out of her room, her hair brushed and pulled back, her clothing what she'd slept in the night prior. Her cheeks were a bit flushed, but she looked like she was feeling better other than that. She paused by her doorway for a moment, drinking in our expressions and gazes, and then saw the manilla folder laying a few feet from me on the table. "W-what's the matter?" she asked slowly.

I stood up, surprised that my legs were able to hold me up due to the numbness, and draped my arm around her shoulders once I'd reached her. I guided her to the living room and pushed her down gently onto one of the couches, before sitting down beside her. Jess and Cora sat on the couch opposite of us, both looking on sympathetically.

"Blake," I started slowly, "I...I have some..."

Her eyes were frantic now, searching mine with fear and uncertainty. "What are the results?" she asked quickly.

I looked over at the two woman opposite of us, recieving nods to continue, and then brought my gaze back to Blake's. "There's no easy way to say this...Blake, you're...pregnant."

Blake didn't move, speak, or breathe for several moments. Blake sat there, paralized, it seemed, staring at me; not even her eyes moved while she stared at me. I made a move to wave my hand in front of her face but she suddenly and quickly slapped it away. "That can't be it." she said faintly. "It has to be something else!"

I shook my head, along with Cora and Jess when she looked in their direction as well.

"I can't be pregnant." she murmured, her voice shaky along with her hands. She reached out and snatched the manilla folder from the coffee table and read the paper, several times as I had, and then allowed it to fall from her fingers. "But...I've been raped before...and neither of those times did I get pregnant."

I reached for her when her eyes glassed over, offering her silent support. Again, Blake only swatted my hands away, gentler than before, and stood to gaze out at the front yard, the street just beyond it, and the cars parked there. "Why me?!" she shouted suddenly, whirling around to face us. "Why?! Everything that's happened to me...and now this?! What am I going to do with a baby?!"

I was the first one to get up off the couch, and the first one to pull Blake tightly against me. It was as though my touch caused a trigger reaction in the very quick climb of Blake's emotions and reactions. She immediately burst into tears and held me just as fiercely as I held her, mumbling things into my chest that I couldn't understand, couldn't decipher. I pressed my lips to the side of her head, my lips brushing her ear, and tried to shush her, tried to tell her it would be alright.

"ALRIGHT?!" she screamed, jerking her head back to look me in the face. "I'm eighteen and pregnant, Ben! I have a baby on the way...and I can barely take care of myself, and you think it's going to be _alright_?!"

It was as though that one word sent Blake into hysterics. Her sobbing increased profusely, and she began striking my chest with her fists, pounding me as though the entire situation was caused by my doing. As a matter of fact, she began blaming me, cursed any form of police work, and practically claimed that any officer in the world was unqualified to enforce the law. Yet as she stood there cussing, sobbing and hitting away at my chest, I could do nothing but pity her. She was tired, confused, hurt and broken, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I allowed her to strike me until she became tired, which she did fairly quickly, before I lifted her up into my arms to carry her to her room. Her knees had become weak from all of the emotion and had buckled beneath her, therefore she needed her bed, and silent support. I eased her down gently and crawled on the mattress beside her, where, surprisingly, she pressed herself against me and folded her arms against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her for that silent support and just held her, listening to her cries and slightly more understandable words.

* * *

_Blake's POV _

I don't know why I was making such a fuss. I do believe Paul had raped me with the full intention of getting me pregnant. It had been the way he'd looked at me during the act...just, something in his eyes. When he'd gotten up from his dirty work something had just felt different, and I'd even wondered if there was a possibility of something new inside me that hadn't been there before. So why such a fuss? Perhaps I was just scared of what Jerry would think. Surely he wouldn't want to marry me now?

Ben, bless him, had stood strong and made it through my emotional tirade. Even though I'd cussed at him(and any police officer alive), and had even crossed the line to flat-out punch him in the chest, he never left my side, and for that, I owed him many favors. I believe Jess and Cora left in the early stage of my fit, either thinking me out of my mind or wanting to be respectful, but I was fine with it...Ben was the only person I wanted anywhere near me, because he was the one that had seen me at my worst by far, and I knew I could trust him to keep all of my bad moments a secret.

Even hours later he still laid next to me and held me. I squirmed against him, making a feeble attempt at getting comfortable, then slowly(if not with difficulty), brought my red, puffy gaze to meet his. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"Don't be." he murmured. "I was expecting something like that."

My brows furrowed. "You...were?"

His eyes closed briefly as he nodded. "Mhm. I've been an officer for a while...I've seen many people have emotional break downs...and I knew you would have one."

"But, I hit you...repeatedly."

Again, he only nodded. "It's fine, Blake."

I closed my eyes as his large hand came to rest on the side of my head, his thumb stroking a small bit of my hair. "Why are you so calm? I've disappointed you...immensely. I think I'll just...pack my things...and leave."

"No!"

I was surprised by the amount and mixture of fear and and passion in Ben's voice, the strength in his arms as he held me as though to keep me from moving ever again. His eyes appeared tortured when I gazed into them, making me feel all the more awful about myself. "I'm a disappointment!" I said quickly. "I don't deserve you, and you don't deserve to be put through the crap that I put you through!"

"The only crap that you put me through is saying things like you're saying now!" he whispered. "I'm not disappointed in you. There was nothing you could do about what's been done. I just got you back, and I'm not going to let you go." he sighed, pressing a rough kiss to my forehead. "Don't go, please."

I hugged him back when I realized he was actually _begging _me to stay with him. No one had ever really begged me to do anything...how could I say no? "How am I even going to provide for it?"

"I'll help you." he soothed. "Jess and I will help you take care of it."

Without really thinking about it, I untangled myself from his arms and went to the window...a habit that had quickly developed after I'd been released from the hospital. Gazing out at the street below, I placed my hand on my abdomen, where I thought my womb was located. I couldn't help the anxious, butterfly-like feeling inside me, wondering how on earth I was going to raise a kid, while I myself was still one. My eyes closed and my head hung downward. What was Jerry going to say?

**Okay peoples, only a few chapters left, and the story will be finished. Don't worry, though! I've already started chapter one of the sequel. Speaking of which, I'm having a hard time coming up with a title for it. Any ideas? Also, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. Hopefully it isn't obvious that I'm running out of ideas for this story, because I'm ready to bring it to a close and begin part two of it. Just tell me what you think, and if you have any ideas for a title for the next installment, please. Please review, it motivates me! Thank you!**


	30. Dealing Hard Blows

I do not own Midsomer Murders; I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

I don't have very many hobbies, so whichever ones I have, I buried myself in them. Drawing and sketching is my strongest, so over the past couple of days, I did nothing but sit in my room and...sketch. I sketched anything and everything that came to mind, such as Jerry, who was on my mind seemingly every waking moment. I would obsess over sketches of him, not stopping until they were perfect, and I'd drawn every detail of him until it looked like it was drawn professionally. I also sketched pictures of Ben, Jess, all of the Williamson's, and even Mr. and Mrs. Barnaby. When all of my human sketches were done, I began drawing dogs, cats, horses, and so on. My bedroom floor was literally covered with all manner of rubbish, such as messed up drawings, soda cans, crisps bags, things of that sort. Ben walked in one day and looked at the total mess, and told me that it was completely unhealthy, but did nothing else. I think he felt bad about having to scold me about anything, seeing as how I seemed to have fallen into a spiralling depression since I'd learned that I was pregnant.

One day he actually came in with a rubbish bag while I was working on a sketch, and put all of the messed up drawings in it, along with the other rubbish, and didn't say a word except, "Try to keep it clean." I had begun to wonder why he'd even bothered, became distracted by my current project, and went right back to working on it. One day...I drew a picture of my baby...several, actually. I drew one of a female, brown hair, blue eyes, most of my features. I then drew a male, also with brown hair, blue eyes, and my features. I sketched him or her doing different things...crawling, sitting up, sleeping. I was surprised when I actually began getting closer to the little thing, even though I didn't even have a bump showing. I would often find myself either with my hand on my belly, or stroking that general area when I was in deep thought.

A few days after Ben cleaned my room, he popped in and told me that we'd been invited to dinner at the Williamson's, and wanted to know if I was interested in going. I didn't answer with words, only put away the sketch I'd been working on, my pencil and such, and grabbed my jacket. It would be the perfect time to tell Jerry the news. Why hadn't I told him after nearly week of finding out? Simple. I was scared, and wanted to wait until I was ready.

"Where's Jess?" I asked on the way there. "I thought she'd be coming with us?"

Ben kept his eyes on the road. "She's going to meet us there, because she had to work a bit later than she thought she'd have to."

I didn't actually start getting nervous until we were only a few miles from the Wialliamson place. My hands began to tremble, along with my body, and my heart began racing as though it was going to make a break for it and rip right though my chest. He was going to leave me, for sure. Or would he? I was a bit confused from his speech the other night, how he'd said I was intelligent, beautiful, his, and would always belong to him. Would he really stick to what he'd told me, or back off and run away from me, as I expected? Only one way to find out.

"Hey," Ben soothed, reaching over to place his hand on top of my leg, "You're going to be fine."

"It's not me I'm worried about." I mumbled.

He sighed, taking his hand back. "I know."

We were silent for the rest of the drive, not even bothering to look at one another.

Mike was waiting for us on the front porch when we pulled up, dressed simply in a black and blue flannel plaid shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows, with a dark pair of blue jeans and a pair of black work boots. He stood with a smile, and shook Ben's hand once we were out of the car. "Hey, mate. How are you holding up?" he asked kindly.

I cringed inwardly, noticing that he seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact with me as he talked to Ben. So he knew. That must have meant that they all knew...all except for Jerry. I stared at Mike's face until he finally looked down at me, and when he did, it made me feel all the more worse. His brilliant green eyes were full of poorly hidden pity, with just a dab of happieness. I wanted nothing more than to look away.

"Hello, darling." he smiled.

I allowed him to pull me into a gentle embrace(much too gentle), and accepted the kiss that he placed lightly on my cheek. "Hi." Was all I said, making brief eye contact before looking to the doorway.

"Sorry," he nodded to the both of us, "It's a bit chilly out here; let's go inside."

It was nice and warm in the Williamson house compared to outside...almost cozy. Cora was placing a final dish on the table when she noticed us, and smiled, hiding her pity much better than her husband had. She wore a light blue blouse with a pair of form-fitting black pants, and a pair of nice dress shoes to match. She greeted both Ben and I with a kiss to cheek, and then set about the final preparations before calling everyone to dinner.

Jess was in the kitchen as well, filling glasses with ice and drinks, and apparently hadn't noticed that anyone had come in the front door.

Little Daniel sat on the couch with his two sisters, April and Amber. Daniel kept his eyes glued to the telly, Amber, only a few months old, focused on April, and April simply smiled at me, not really making eye contact.

With a huff I mounted the stairs, silently making my way to Jerry's room. I was in no mood to talk to anyone but him, since they obviously couldn't look at me without making me feel worse than I already did. I found Jerry in his room, as I though I would, and smiled to find him playing that same game, where the character he played was the knight in shining armor. I didn't knock or call out his name, but simply walked in the room and crawled beside him on his bed. He seemed surprised to see me there, but quickly recovered, smiled, and placed a lingering kiss on my lips. Yep. He didn't know.

"I wasn't expecting you to get here so early." he murmured.

He looked absolutely delicious. His ink black hair was brushed in his usual style; side-parted on the left, making his bangs hang just above his right eyebrow, leaving the left side of his hair-line exposed. He wore a black button-down dress shirt with the top three buttons undone, leaving his collar bone and part of his chest exposed. Dark, tight jeans fit the lower-half of his form nicely, and his feet were covered with black tennis shoes. His eyes and smile were warm, and his cheeks were covered with dark brown stubble.

"We're not early. In fact, I think dinner is almost ready."

"Oh," he said, raising his eyebrows slightly. "Well, I suppose we could head down-"

"No." I said quickly, earning a confused look. "Let's just...sit up here, and wait until we're called down. I've missed you."

He smiled, placing his hand on my knee. "Mum and dad have been keeping a closer eye on me...and have been staying up later than usual. I think they heard me sneak one night."

I chuckled, and playfully began stroking one his sideburns; sideburns that grew just a bit past his earlobes. "Guess you should've been a bit more careful."

"Mhm." Was all he said, apparently enjoying the miniature massage he was recieving.

I smiled. I wanted to loosen him up as much as I could; maybe he wouldn't freak out as badly about the news if he was nice and relaxed. Scooting myself behind him, I placed my hands on his shoulders and began to rub, lightly at first, with increasing pressure the longer I massaged. I smiled maniacally upon hearing the faint, gutteral moans that I was eliciting from Jerry, and decided to experiment. It didn't take much coaxing to get him to lean over so that he was sort of hunched over his legs, allowing my hands much better access to his middle and lower back. Clenching my hands into fists, I used my knuckles to gently punch where I knew his back would ache after he did chores, allowed him to enjoy the feeling for a few moments, and then flattened my hands and curved my fingers, making long, raking motions up and down his long back. The faint, gutteral moans became a bit louder, however remained soft as I began nuzzling his neck at the same time.

"You're...really g-good at th-this." he groaned.

I smirked, and nipped playfully at his earlobe. "Thank you."

I pulled off the massaging for as long as I could, wanting the moments to drag on and last, but I knew it wasn't going to happen; he was going to find the news out after dinner, and I didn't know what was going to happen. I suspected my nightmares were going to come true.

"Kids!" Came a call from downstairs, "Dinner's ready!"

Jerry grumbled. I sighed. This would be interesting.

* * *

Dinner was terrible. Well, I mean, the food was great, excellent even, but the atmosphere was just...ugh. It felt like the entire house was full of building pressure, like the house was going to explode unless I opened a door or something and got outside, away from everyone. Mike sat at the head of the table, and tried to act cheerful for Daniel, who knew nothing of what was going on, by trying to make jokes and small talk. Everyone laughed at the jokes, they were quite funny, but it felt like I was the only one noticing that the laughter felt dry, and emotionless. Cora sat to his right and conversed with Jess, who sat next to her. Ben sat to the left of Mike, beside me. Ben said absolutely nothing nearly the entire time, and pretended to take interest in whatever the subject was that Mike would bring up.

Jerry sat beside me, not really looking at anyone or anything but his food, and me. We said absolutely nothing to each other, but purpously allowed our elbows to bump or rub anytime we'd go to cut something, or reach for a dish. I'd also allow me knee to find its way to his, and we'd press them together. Occasionally, when it looked like we were taking a break, listening to whatever conversation was going on, I'd reach for his hand, and hold it under the table. April sat across from us, and noticed the elbow thing, but didn't mention it when she'd look up to talk to us. Daniel sat besid his sister, and was completely oblivious to everyone and everything but the food on the table, his silverwear, and getting food to his mouth with it.

I ate my food in tiny proportions, both due to the nausea of pregnancy and the bad feeling I had in the pit of my stomach because of the upcoming conversation. I decided to skip desert completely, using the excuse that I was full, and excused myself from the table and to the back yard. I recieved looks of pity from all of the adults, which only made me feel worse as I made my way to the door, feeling their eyes boring into my back. April hadn't bothered to look at me at all, which I was grateful for, and Jerry looked confused, but didn't move.

He did follow a short while after, however, upon realizing the talking was going to continue well past the time that dinner was finished. He found me leaned up against the shed, staring up at the sky. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Did you eat too much?"

"Jerry," I said slowly, dragging my eyes with dread to look into his. "I need to tell you something."

His brows furrowed even more, and honestly, he looked completely and utterly confused. "What...is it?"

I swallowed hard, tried to cool my saliva down. I knew when my saliva was warm in my mouth, I was going to be sick. I couldn't be sick yet. Just a bit longer... "Jerry...remember when I told you that Paul raped me...twice?"

"Yes..." he nodded, now completely lost.

"Well...the sec-...the s-second time, Jerry...he got me...pregnant."

Jerry said nothing. Jerry stared into my eyes, trying to find any trace of prank. When he found none, he whispered, "You...You're joking, right?"

I shook my head sadly.

He stared at me even more, and pointed to my belly. "You...have something...growing in...inside you?"

"Yeah." I murmured. Gosh, I felt so _numb_.

I light scoff passed his lips as he looked down at the ground, a now trembling hand rubbing the stubble on his chin. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "You...Are you sure?" he asked, his voice a bit more rough than he'd probably intended.

"Yes," I said, my voice a bit impatient. "I had urine and blood samples done...Your mum said she had them re-tested several times to make sure they were accurate. Jerry, I'm with child."

Jerry scoffed again, and ran both hands through his hair, mussing it up. "You...How...You let..."

"I didn't let him do anything!" I snapped. "He _forced _himself on me and-"

"Yes, I know how babies are made!" he snapped back, running another hand through his hair.

"Why are you freaking out? _You _aren't the one that's pregnant, _I _am. You're acting like I just told you that you're the father!"

"I'm not acting-" he cut himself off, and took another deep breath. "Let's not get angry, here. We can work this out." he told himself.

"_Work this out_?!" I cried. "What do you mean, _work this out_? Are you saying you want to change our plans?"

His eyes flashed green flames as his gaze snapped to mine, meeting just as intense blue flames. "I wasn't expecting a _baby_ until a few years down the road! We've got to work something out!"

"What are you saying?! What do you mean?!"

"I mean we need to work on a different plan!"

"Which is what?"

I hadn't realized we'd been yelling until I saw how red Jerry's face was. "What about...an abortion?"

On its own accord, my body flew away from the shed, and my fingers gripped large handfulls of his shirt. "I am _not _going to have an abortion, Jerry!" I snarled. "It's a human being, and I'm not going to kill it because I don't want it at this point in my life! That's just murder!"

"So what else do you suggest?!" he growled. "We can't go through with our original plan! I can't support three mouths instead of two on just a police salary! You'd have to get a job, too, and that wasn't in the plan."

"I wouldn't be able to get a job, _darling. _I'd have to be home with the baby so we wouldn't have to pay a babysitter."

"That's just...not going to work!" he shouted. "Maybe we just shouldn't come up with any plan at all!"

My grip on his shirt faltered. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," he growled, "Maybe we should just drop the idea of marriage for now."

I shoved him away, barely able to handle his words. "So you don't want to marry me." I asked, my voice hard and full with restraint of tears.

"Not as soon as we thought." he murmured tensely.

"So you're saying-"

"Perhaps we should take a break from each other."

I slapped him. Oh, did I slap him. It caused my hand to throb, and Jerry to stumble back, clutching at his cheek.

Once he regained his footing, Jerry straightened up, his eyes full of fury. "So I guess it's over, then?" he said in that low, dangerous tone of voice, laced with anger.

I stood my ground, my hands fists at my sides, and nodded. "I don't want a man that would have me murder an unborn baby. If you loved me, you'd want to marry me regardless of what's happened." My voice, in turn, was weak due to the lump that had formed in my throat.

"So I guess this is goodbye?" he'd made it a statement, rather than a question.

"I guess so." I strangled out.

I watched Jerry's slim form storm angerly away from me, and into the house. The nightmare had happened. I'd lost the one person I loved more than Ben. I turned around and promptly lost all of the dinner I'd eaten only minutes before.

**Okay...I thought I was gonna start crying a few minutes after I wrote this. Poor peoples. I think I'm gonna post two more chapters, and then the story will be done. I've already started working on chapter two of the sequel! So excited! Again, if anyone has ideas for a title for the sequel, please let me know! Please review! Thank you!**


	31. Flashbacks

I do not own Midsomer Murders; I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

One would think that nine months would really just drag by while waiting for something. Nine months was a blur, though, to me, while waiting for the baby. In nine months my baby had grown rapidly, making my once flat stomach big, and rounded. My habit of rubbing it had increased greatly over the course of months, to the point that if I so much as stood still, my hand was there, moving slowly up and down, soothing the little thing growing there. Even as I laid in the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling while Ben snoozed in a chair beside the bed, I found my hands occupying themselves with rubbing.

_I had gotten up and dressed myself, as usual. I was moving rather slow due to the pain in my abdomen, but it wasn't anything I couldn't bear. I could tell from the noises in the kitchen that Ben was already up, fixing breakfast, and Jess was already at the table eating, talking about how she was happy that it was the weekend. I didn't even pause to look at myself in the mirror due to my haste in wanting to get to the kitchen and eat, so I hurried on out the door once I was dressed in a proper t-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. I greeted Jess first by squeezing her shoulder with a smile, and she returned it as she gave me a warm "good morning". _

_I greeted Ben next with a kiss to the cheek and a lingering hug, before grabbing a plate. "Morning."_

_"Morning." he returned in a equally cheerful tone, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Feeling good today, are we?"_

_With a nod I forked a few slices of bacon onto my plate, along with toast and eggs. "Yeah, I think I'll be able to eat real food today."_

_"Try not to eat too much bacon," Jess said from the table, taking a bite of a scone, "The grease will change that very quickly."_

_Not even a minute later, Ben took two of the three slices of bacon from my plate, and put them on his own. "Don't want to take any chances, eh?"_

_I gave him a playful glare, and put a scone on my plate. "I'll let you get away with it this time."_

_Ben chuckled and followed me as we walked to the table, and took a seat at the head, so that he could have Jess at his right, and me at his left. "So," he said, taking a hefty bite out of a slice of bacon, "What has you in such a good mood?"_

_"Being able to eat, that's all." _

_"Well, don't get too cocky...I don't feel like holding your hair back today." he quipped into his mug of coffee._

_I looked up at him from my eggs and grinned. "Not a problem; that's what they invented ponytail-holders for." I held my hand up, revealing the black band that rested around my wrist, and then removed it to tie my hair back. "See? It works!"_

_"Smart-mouth." he mumbled, rolling his eyes._

_I think it was around my second bite of bacon that I'd finally noticed it. My hand had strayed to my belly while the other was busy holding the bacon, and immediately I dropped it and jumped from my seat, earning surprized expressions from both Ben and Jess. I could feel it through the fabric of my t-shirt, but lifted it up anyway to reveal my belly, and grinned. There, slightly up and between my hips, was a bulge._

_"It...it's a..." I started. _

_"Baby bump." Jess smiled._

_Ben looked as though he wasn't sure what to think. He looked a bit torn between happy and sad, therefore leaving a sort of confused look on his face. I grinned at him and pointed at my stomach. "It's growing!"_

_Slowly, a small smile pulled at his lips, and he reached out to put his hand on the slight bump._

"How are you feeling?"

It was Jess that had shaken me from my reverie. Jess had requested to be my nurse, to look in on me from time to time, check vitals and what not, and see if my body was functioning the way it was supposed to be functing while pregnant, and Causton Hospital being as small as it is, her request was granted. She offered me a small smile, and a soft chuckle in Ben's direction, before taking a seat on the hospital bed. "How do you feel?"

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned back a bit into the pillows. "Oh, you know...sore back, cramps, contractions, can't decide whether I'm hot or cold..."

Jess smiled and pat my hand. "That's normal; you're feeling all of the things you're supposed to be feeling. Have you been drinking plenty of water?"

I glanced over at the empty glass and lifted the water pitcher with ease, then tipped it so she could see inside it. "Empty...I drank it all."

"Not a problem," she said, taking the pitcher gently from my hand, "I'll fill it with ice water. How's that sound?"

"Great." I smiled, closing my eyes.

_Eight months after I discovered my baby bump, I found that my belly had become so large that I was in the habit of just lounging around on the living room couch, stretched out to stare at the telly screen, which wasn't very like me. I came to find that carrying a baby around inside you while it develops is more work than pregnant women seem to let on, and also came to find that one had to actually kind of waddle around due to the extra weight, thus distributing to my laziness._

_It was on one of those lazy days on the couch that I felt an excrutiating pain in my belly, that started out in my belly and seemed to wrap around to my lower back. The pain caused me to arch a bit from the couch with a gasp, and my hands to fly to my rounded belly to rub it. I didn't know much about how going into labor felt...only that it hurt extremely, and could last for hours. _

_"Ben!" I breathed. _

_Ben looked up calmly from the kitchen counter, apparently having not heard my gasp of pain while he'd been fixing a cup of coffee. "Yes, sweetheart?"_

_"I...I th-think it's t-time!"_

_Any coffee that had been in Ben's mouth ended up spewed partially on Ben's light brown shirt, and part of the counter. Whatever was left in the coffee cup ended up spilled on the counter and floor when Ben had so quickly and clumsily set(more like dropped) the cup on the counter as he made a dash for the duffle bag by the front door, and then to me. "Can you hold it until we get to the hospital?"_

_His panicky tone hadn't helped the situation at all, however, his comment had made me want to laugh. _Hold it _until we get to the hospital? Oh, Ben... "Yeah, I can make it to the hospital, if you'll get me off the damn couch!" I snapped._

_Ben only seemed conflicted for a moment before lifting me up in his arms. He made it through the front door with my help(me being his hands since his were full), with the same case scenario once we reached the car. Ben also seemed conflicted when he reached his side of the car, trying to decide whether or not he should go lock the front door. I snapped at him to do it as quickly as possible and then get his ass in the car, due to the increasing pain I was feeling. _

_"How-...Are you feeling alright?" Ben asked nervously, trying to keep his eyes on both me and the road._

_"Just trying to make it..." I breathed, rubbing my belly. _

_We made it to the hospital in record time, and again, Ben had to carry me to speed up the process of getting me in the hospital; this time opting to leave the doors unlocked as to not waste anymore time that had already been wasted. A nurse in the hallway immediately led us to an unoccupied room, demanding that Ben put me down on the bed while she went in search of a doctor. _

_"Breathe," Ben would tell me, squeezing my hand as I winced at the pain, "Just breathe like the doctor told you to."_

_I breathed in a way that sounded like "hoo, hee hee, hoo, hee hee", as Jess had told me not too long ago I would have to breathe whenever contractions would hit me, wondering where the hell the doctor was, and what was taking her so long. I hoped that Ben would still have a hand left by the time the doctor got in the room due to the pressure I was using to squeeze it, and dropped my head back against the two thin pillows beneath it. _

_"Am I hurting you?" I asked between breaths._

_"No, no, you're fine." he answered quickly, stroking the hand that had such a death grip on his own, "Just breathe."_

_It felt like a thousand forevers before the doctor finally came in...a doctor that just happened to be Cora, who happened to be acting doctor that day. _

_"She thinks she's going into labor." A nurse said; the same nurse that had led us to the room._

_Cora was all business as she lifted my shirt and relieved me of my sweats(Ben respectfully and more embarrassingly kept his gaze on my face), to examine my progress. When she was finished, a blanket was spread to my shoulders, hiding my exposed lower half, before she pulled up one of the nearby chairs. "You're not going into labor."_

_"Excuse me?!" I shrieked. "I've never felt contractions this strong before! There's no way these are just contractions!"_

_Cora nodded and pat my hand. "I know. The pain due to the contractions has intensified because you're getting close. I'd say you've got a few days before you give birth, so I'm gonna go ahead have you moved to a larger room, with better accommodations. How does that sound?"_

_"Okay," I murmured, "But I'm still in pain..."_

_She nodded sympathetically. "You're going to feel that way until birth, darling; there isn't much we can do about it, but give you some mild medication, so it won't affect the baby. How does that sound?"_

_"Great." I mumbled. _

_As both Cora and the nurse left the room, a slight squeeze became a bit more apparent to my hand, and as I looked in that general direction, I got a small, slightly pained smile from Ben. "May I have my hand back, please?"_

It was now day five in the hospital, and still no baby. I would have horrid, reacurring pains in my belly, and through my stomach for hours on end, but the nurses would continue telling me that I was supposed to feel that way, that it meant my body was readying itself for the actual moments of child birth. I would often wonder why I'd decided to go through with having the baby, only to have a harsh reminder that my parents hadn't wanted me either, but I was greatful to them, even though they were horrid people, for allowing me to live in the cold, wretched place called the world. I would then scold myself for even thinking of the possibility of taking a baby's life, and then the pain wouldn't hurt so much when I realized I was bringing a new life into the world.

I would actually often get bored after the pain would wear off, and would either have to semi-entertain myself by counting the tiles in the ceiling, or losing myself in my mind...which also felt like a cold, scary place to be. Ben would often try to talk to me when he could, having gone back to work again for Barnaby. I could tell it was putting more stress on him, having to worry about me and crimes both, but he was trying.

"How do you feel?" he asked one afternoon, fresh in from work.

"Scared."

It took him a moment to find the torment and in fear in my eyes, before he took my hand. "Why is that, luv?"

My gaze darted from his to the ceiling. "I've heard things...about giving birth. I've heard that women have died in the delivery room, and babies have died in the delivery room. I've heard of women getting angry, and having their babies taken away, because they were tired of the effort that the role demanded. I've...heard of some people giving their own children up because they couldn't afford to take care of them anymore."

Ben's expression remained calm, and the gentleness in his hand on my own grew firm. "Blake," he murmured, "Women and babies very rarely die in the delivery room. If they do, it's because one of them had physical problems that couldn't be helped...or helped quickly enough. As for taking care of the baby," he gave my hand a squeeze, smiling kindly, "I've already told you, Jess and I will give you more than enough help." he tilted his head to the side a bit, squinting his eyes, furrowing his brows, as though he were trying to remember something. "And you know," he stated quietly, "You don't _have _to keep the baby. There are a lot of people in the UK that are willing to adopt."

Adoption. Why, in nine months, had I never thought of adoption? I'd had more than enough time to dwell on such things, but for some reason... "Ben," I asked, confusion saturating my tone, "How do you know all of this? How did you figure some of this stuff out?"

Again, a smile played at his features. "Cora sat me down and had a chat with me. She said you'd have questions, and she obviously can't stay in the room with you all day, so she told me quite a bit of necessary information to answer your questions with."

My brows knit close together, again in confusion. "You're making me sound like a nutter...and yourself a psychiatrist. It's quite disturbing, actually."

"What? You don't think I'd make a good mental doctor?"

My head shook slowly, and in a higher octive I calmly answered, "No! You'd laugh make jokes, or you'd just be amused, or creeped out. You wouldn't really do the patient much help."

He smiled. "That sounds a bit like what I'd probably do."

I allowed my eye lids to droop shut, my tired eyes burning a bit at how good it felt to have them closed after so long. "Ben?"

"Hmm?"

"What should I name it?"

Ben shifted a bit in his chair. "Uhm...Well, which sex?"

"Boy. Let's discuss boy names, and then girl."

I could just picture him nodding. "Mkay. What about Jack?"

I snorted. "Only one of the most common male names in England."

"Oliver?"

"No...I would think of Oliver Twist every time I looked at him."

This comment earned a chuckle. "What about Benjamin?"

I opened my eyes to narrowed slits, sending him a mild glare. "You _can't _be serious."

"Just joking." he defended, smiling. "What about Basil?"

"I am _not _naming my child after an animated movie character."

"Bill?"

"Too simple."

"Alexander?"

"Too royal sounding."

"Toby?"

I opened my eyes fully at this suggestion. "Toby? Toby. Toooooby. Toby." I smiled, testing it out. "I like it!"

"Really? That was just off the top of my head."

I snorted again. "You make it sound like we're naming a dog."

Ben chuckled. "What? Just saying. You could go for Thomas, or Philip, or Jer-"

The froze right in his mouth, but it was too late; the damage had been done. I closed my eyes painfully, trying to ignore the hurt, but the more I tried to ignore it, the clearer I could see Jerry's face.

_"Blake, I'm going grocery shopping. Is there anything you need?"_

_I hadn't heard what she'd said, of course; I was much too busy reading a baby-care magazine, perched partially on my belly and partially on the arm of the couch._

_"Blake? I'm leaving for the grocery store; anything you need?"_

_My eyes focused on naught but the magazine. I was five months in, after all, and needed to absorb as much as I could about babies._

_"Blake?"_

_I started a bit at the hand that was placed on my shoulder, knocking me brutally from the world of babies and baby facts in my head. My gaze came to meet the cool, light blue gaze of Jess's, and the kind, calm nature of her gentle smile. "Yes?" I murmured._

_"I'm going grocery shopping, would you like to come?"_

_"Sure." I answered simply. "I've got nothing else to do."_

_The Causton grocery store is a small one, but seemingly crammed full of just about any food, liquid, bathroom supply, or medication you'd like. There weren't many people there, as one would expect, due to the pindling size of both it and the village. It was actually fairly quiet, relaxing, almost. _

_"Why are we looking at medication? I haven't been sick in a while."_

_"Ben." Jess answered. "His headaches have been coming a bit more frequently since work grew more demanding. He told me to grab him something while we're here."_

_A silent nod was my only response as I stared absently at all the various boxes of headache, cold, flu, stomach, and just general aches and pains medication. Me, having had many headaches before, pointed to a specific box of medication, and began to reach for. "What about this stuff? It's worked for-"_

_My hand was bumped by someone else's upon reaching for the specific box, and my apology was jammed in my throat upon finding the nervous, green gaze of Jerry Williamson's eyes._

_"Sorry." he murmured. "I was gonna wait for you to leave, but, you kept standing there, and I thought I could just get what I needed while you weren't looking."_

_I was surprised at the hurt I'd heard in his voice. Had he missed me as much as I'd missed him? "So we're still running from each other...after five months?" I whispered._

_Jerry cast his gaze to his shoes, either too upset to answer, or just not knowing _what _to answer. _

_I looked in Jess's direction, only to find that she'd moved to a different isle, not wanting to take part in our business._

_"Jerry?' I pressed._

_His gaze went slowly to my feet, drank my ankles, slid(longingly, it seemed) up my legs, before finally coming to a stop on my belly. "How's it coming along?" he murmured._

_I didn't attempt to stop the sigh that passed my slowly forming frown. Already avoiding the important subject, was he? "Fine, fine. Your mum thinks it'll be a boy...but you never know. I kind of want it to be a surprise."_

_"Yeah?" he asked feebly. "Have you thought of any names for it?"_

_"Not really." The silence and hostility between us was smother me. There were thousands, millions of things that I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, how much I'd missed him, how badly I wanted him back...how I ached to just lay with him and hold him against me. But each time I tried to tell him, it all just seemed to jam up in my throat._

_"I suppose I should go, then. I have a million things to do at hom, and-"_

_"I've missed you." I blurted._

_Those gorgeous emeralds seemed to burn my skin with his sad, yet intense gaze. He seemed to think, and study me for a moment before nodding slowly. "I've missed you, too." he paused again, and stepped closer to me, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Perhaps...after he's born, we could...talk?"_

_I shook my head, my sad eyes tearing up. "Don't, please don't get my hopes up. Want me _now_! What's wrong with now?"_

_His head continued to shake slowly, his hand pointing to my belly. "I...I don't...Don't know...how..."_

_"You're proving my thoughts correct. If you can't take it now...how are you going to take it when he's born?"_

_Jerry flinched as though I'd attempted to strike him. I...I don't know. I just...I need time."_

_"It's been five months!" I cried softly. "How much time do you need, Jerry?!"_

_"I don't know!" he cried back. "I just...I don't...I have to go."_

_With that, Jerry Williamson walked out of my life, taking another chunk of my heart with him. _

"MY GOSH!" I screamed. Child birth was proving to be more painful than I'd originally thought it would be. Going into labor was worse than contractions, and _much _worse than menstruation cycle cramps. The needle that had been inserted into my lower back had felt like a mosquito bite compared to the labor pains, and when the needle's contents were going to kick in and numb me was a mystery on my part.

"More drugs!" I cried. "More! make them work!"

Cora, being the doctor to deliver my baby, looked up at me from between my legs, and patted my knee empathetically. "Just deep breaths, dear; the drugs will kick in soon."

"Not quick enough!" I snapped. Oh, this hurt more than _any _abuse I'd _ever _recieved! "More!"

"I can't give you anymore, ducky." she answered, looked back down between my legs. "Anymore would be lethal."

I threw my head back against the pillow, squeezing the hand that just seemed to be laying like a dead animal in my own. Ben, the owner of said hand, winced as he squeezed back. I could tell by his eyes that he wanted to ask if I was okay, but knew it would be pointless because he already knew I wasn't. I could also tell that he was torn between staying in the deliver room, or leaving it to empty his stomach. "You don't _have _to stay in here." I grunted. "You look sick."

Ben attempted to smile(which turned out to be more of a grimace), and squeezed my hand again. "I'm fine."

"Rub it in." I snapped. "I-OH!"

"i see something!" Cora announced, spreading my legs further apart.

Ben made a gagging sound, turned green, then rushed out of the room with his hand clamped over his mouth upon recieving the news.

"Just like a man, eh?" Cora chuckled. "They abandon their stations when they're needed most. Women are truely the rulers of society, you know? I need a push."

I was glad that the medication ended up kicking in around the second push, else wise it would have turned out to be quite the ordeal more than it should have been. With Ben gone, I no longer had a hand to grip, and had to grasp the cold, metal bars that were attached to the sides of the bed, and rose a bit above the mattress, reminding me of _some _of the horrid ordeals due to Paul(but _only _some, due to my memory loss).

"You're doing good, ducky." Cora would encourage. "Just a few more pushes and you'll have brought a life into the world."

"Don't forget to breathe." A nurse put in.

Ah, one of the moments when I realized how good oxygen is. I breathed alright. I breathed air like a fish breathes water, and found it to be very much helpful in the course of the last couple of pushes.

"It's out!" Cora announced, and in a tone of which I could hear her grinning.

the words had barely left her mouth before I hear a scream; a fresh, new cry that announced the entrance of a new life into the world. I had gotten attached to the baby while it was in my womb, growing, spreading, blossoming into something beautiful, but never once did I think I would be so exhilerated and amazed at the beautiful, fresh sound. Before I was even able to see my baby, I felt feelings of love, tenderness, and protectiveness, so strong that it struck fear into my chest and spread through my body like a warm wave.

"It's a boy." A near by nurse told me.

I was only able to catch a glimpse of the little thing before they took him away to run tests, but what I saw was wheat-colored blonde hair, and brilliant blue eyes.

**Okay, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I needed a lot of time to think on and write this chapter(and I was away in Europe for a week), so I made it extra long to make up for it. I would like to thank FreakyDisaster18 for the suggestion of doing the flashbacks, which made this chapter quite fun to write! I thank everyone who has reviewed, and I plead that you'll review again! There is actually going to be one extra chapter than I thought, so there's two more chapters, and then the story will be complete! The sequel still needs a title, if anyone has suggestions, though I think I'm headed for a break-through for said title. Still, your suggestions are appreciated! Please review! Thanks! I appreciate you all!**


	32. Leaving

I do not own Midsomer Murders; I only own the characters that I made up.

* * *

"He's very beautiful."

"Indeed! Just look at those eyes! Just like yours, Blake."

I didn't bother looking over at Cora and Jess, or Ben, who was sitting silently near my bed; I was too amazed at those beautiful blue eyes that peered up at me, that drank in my face, and _only _my face. I couldn't take my right hand from the top of his soft little head, or quit stroking his silky, wheat-colored hair. I was amazed at how beautiful he was, how small he was, and how he'd captivated me from the first moment our gazed locked. Cora had told me that he was quite small compared to average newborns, his body from head to toes not even stretching all the way between my elbow and hand, but I didn't care; he was healthy as could be, and had been born a few days after his expected date, which I gladly accepted to him being born prematurely. I smiled down at him warmly, though still afraid at the strong feelings of protectiveness, tenderness and love.

"What are you going to name him?" Cora asked, "We need to fill out his birth certificate; I have it here, with me."

I forced myself to rip my eyes from my babie's to side-glance at Ben, and then turn to look at Cora. "Toby." I smiled. "Toby Alexander Jones."

"I thought you said Alexander sounded too royal?" Ben asked.

"Changed my mind." I quipped. "A dashing name for a dashing boy. Besides, many great men were named Alexander."

"Settled, then?" Asked Cora.

"Yes. Toby Alexander Jones."

Cora smiled as she wrote. "Beautiful name. Now then, I need your full name."

"Tabby Blake Jones." I mumbled.

"Tabby?" The three adults chorused.

"My father didn't want me very much...so he came up with that bizzar name out of spite. There's a reason I go by my middle name."

"I don't blame you." Cora agreed, writing it down. "right then. I'll get the birth certificate printed out, and then we'll let you be on your way in a few hours.

* * *

It took me several weeks to adjust to being woken every other hour of the night. Sometimes Toby would wake around midnight, which was fine because I was usually still awake. The only thing that bothered me was that Ben was usually alseep around that time, and was sometimes woken. After his midnight run, Toby would then wake at three in the morning, or a few minutes after. If it wasn't too cold outside(which, it usually was), I would take him out on the back porch, or out in to car to try and lull him to sleep without waking the others. The next time Toby would wak was usually around six, and by the time I'd been woken at that hour, I'd go on and get dressed, having given up on sleep at that point. Toby's schedual wasn't always at those same times, but usually were in that area, and sometimes just random. His schedual would leave me moody and exhausted throughout the day, with random spurts of anger, or sadness, but usually nothing more.

"He'll fall into a normal schedual," Cora would assure me, "Just give him some to get used to his surroundings, he'll come around."

Several weeks dragged by, however, and Toby was still waking the entire household at all hours of the night. Sometimes I would just lay in bed an extra few minutes, or I'd become angry, but I never once took it out on Toby, or shirked my duties as a new mother. I believe that the person that recieved the blunt of my frustration was poor Ben.

I could tell he was trying, bless him, but it seemed that I could do nothing but bite his head off, no matter _what _he did. One instance would be the laundry. I usually do my own laundry, but due to the given circumstances and sheer exhaustion, it's only reasonable that I'd fallen back a bit from my laundry duties. Jess had had an emergency call, and as predicted, she wasn't able to come home for a day. That day just so happened to be laundry day, and with Jess gone and me exhausted, Ben did all the laundry himself since it was his day off.

Ben can do laundry well, but, due to the variety and different clothing styles, he didn't fold the laundry as well as he'd washed it. A few of my jeans, blouses and t-shirts ended up wrinkled as a result. Remember, now, that I was completely exhausted by the end of the day, having had a rough night. Upon finding the wrinkled clothing, I...well..sort of...flew off the handle. Poor, poor Ben had just clambered out of the shower, and was in naught but his striped boxer-shorts in his bedroom, when I burst in, tired, angry, and in a fit. To put it all in a nutshell, I gave him a very emotional, not-at-all-thought-out, lengthy, and _very _unnecessary speech about "folding clothes properly", and "transfering them to the owner in ship-shape condition", before stomping out of his room in tears, with him staring wide and wild-eyed at me, not saying a word.

The next instant was lunch. Again, it was Ben's day off. Jess was in the living room playing with Toby, so I could have my hands free to gix a sandwich. I'd been just about to dip the knife in the peanut butter when Ben suggested he make the sandwich, so I could sit down and relax. Tired and exhausted (again) froma long night, I flew off the handle.

_"You think I'm not able or capable to _fix my own food_?" I snapped._

_"I didn't say that!" Ben defended. "I was just suggesting-"_

_"That just because I've just had a baby I'm not able to do anything? Is _that _it?!"_

_"You won't let me finish!" he cried. "All I was doing was saying-"_

_"That I'm a weak woman and I can't do _anything _because of it? Fine! I'll go sit down in my room! Bring me the baby if he needs anything!"_

There were several other instances similar to those, but I'm too ashamed to mention them. I didn't realize what a hussy I was being until a few weeks later, when Ben just seemed to give up.

_"Is there anything I can do for you without offending you?" he'd ask. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? Hot coco? Water? I _am _your slave, after all."_

It was that moment that I realized I wouldn't be able to stay with Ben anymore. Confronting him, however, was just as difficult as anyone could imagine.

* * *

"I'm leaving." I announced. I'd attempted at strong, but even I'd heard the slight lump in my throat.

Ben, who'd been reading the newspaper at the time, quickly perred up at me from his position at the dinner table, and allowed his paper to droop, revealing most of his upper body. "Excuse me?"

"I said, I'm leaving." I told him quietly.

Not bothering to fold it, Ben dropped the newspaper to the table and stood slowly, while Jess watched with alert eyes. "Leave, as in..?"

"Leave you, Jess, and Midsomer, and move in somewhere else with my baby." I sighed.

"Absolutely not!" he cried. "Why on Earth-"

"It's too late." I stated calmly. "I looked at flats on the internet, and rented one. I saved up a bit of money from before I was kidnapped, and it's just enough to take care of the bills for the first month. I'm leaving...and moving to London."

"You can't do this!" his face was red, and he was shouting. "Whay are you doing this?!"

"Because I'm a tick!" I snapped. "I'm just taking space, doing no one any good here! I have no job, limited money, a baby, and I'm just pissing everyone off! I believe I wore out my welcome long ago, and it's time for me to move on and have my own life."

"You're only eighteen!"

"Exactly! A perfect time to go to college!"

Ben looked at me long and hard, making me want to shrink from his intense gaze, before coming to my side. "College?"

"Yeah...college. I'd like to finish my education, and get a life. There's nothing for me in Midsomer." I whispered. "My boyfriend gave up on me, there are too many painful memories here, and I just can't take it anymore. I love you, Ben, but I can't stay here."

Ben was silent for a moment, sadness moving in to replace the defensiveness in his eyes. "But...I just got you back." he murmrued. "Can't you just...wait a while? Live here a bit longer while you get used to being a mum?"

I shook my head slowly. "I've already sent a non-refundable cash deposit for the flat; I have to be moved in in thirty days, no questions asked."

"Who's going to take care of Toby?"

"Simple. I can work in a nursery." I shrugged.

"How would you take your classes?" Ben crossed his arms, becoming more and more skeptical with each word I spoke.

"Online?" I mumbled. "i don't know."

"Why move away if you're going to take online classes?"

"Because I feel like I'm being suffocated!" I shouted. "There's _nothing _for me here but pain! I just want to leave! I'm moving out whether you like it or not! You may be satisfied with living in the middle of nowhere, Ben, but I'm not! Just let me go please!"

"Fine." he growled, clearly hurt and angry from my words. "Go on, I won't stop you."

**Surprise! Quick update! Short, but sweet(or should I say bittersweet?)chapter. Only one more chapter to go, and the story will be complet, and then on to the sequel! Apologies to anyone out there named "Tabby". I think it's quite a unique name, but Blake apparently doesn't like it. Anyway, Lol, please review! Thank you!**


	33. Happy Ending?

I do not own Midsomer Murders; I only own the characters I made up.

* * *

_One Year Later..._

I was finally able to make a decent life for myself. It took me a year of working at it, but I was finally in a position that I was actually proud of. The first months in my London flat were a bit of a rough patch due to the rent and utility bills, causing me to nearly starve myself so I could pay them, and have enough money to feed the baby; he couldn't live off of breast milk alone, after all.

Like I told Ben, I worked in a nursery for a bit so I could keep an eye on Toby while I earned my pay, and took online college classes at night. It usually left me tired, and a bit testy at the daycare, but I managed, thanks to coffee.

Down into the sixth month of my job, I became close with my work comrades. They got to know me, and would visit me often, even despite the facts that they knew hardly anything about me, other than the vague notion that I had a dark past, and plenty of rough times. Though I detested it, they would often chip in and slip extra cash in the envelope that also held my paycheck, to help me with my bills. They would always ignore my light complaints about their help, and would somehow always get the extra cash into my flat when I would purposely leave it at the daycare. To prove their trustworthy and desire to help features, they would take turns babysitting Toby when I took on a second job, working at the large library in downtown London.

I did miss Midsomer, yes, and some days I was really depressed about it. I missed the fact that I could get anywhere in ten minutes or less in Midsomer, while in London it would take me twenty minutes or more. I also didn't like that it rained most of the week in London, while in Midsomer it was _sunny_ for most of the week, with occasional, light showers. I also missed my cozy bedroom that I'd grown accustomed to. Not that my flat wasn't cozy. It had three nicely-sized bedrooms, one being my room, one Toby's room, and the other a guest room. I had a kitchen, which was part of the living room, a bathroom, and lots of windows. Carpet covered all the floors(except the kitchen, which was tile)in a rich green color, matching nicely with the mint-colored walls. More importantly, Toby seemed to love it. When he was finally in his crawling stage, he would giggle and squeal as he zoomed across the green carpet, and then sometimes would even sit and swat at it with a large grin pulling at his lips.

"What would you like to do today, Toby?" I would ask him.

"Green!" he'd squeal.

"Green?" One of my work comrades would ask, if they were visiting during that particular moment.

"He means the living room; he likes the green carpet." I'd smile.

It was on a day most similar to that, in my ninth month of living in my apartment and minus the visiting comrade, that I recieved the letters. I hadn't noticed them before due to the fact that they'd been mixed in with my bills and junk mail, which was most likely a good thing, because I don't know if my knees would have been able to support me in the middle of the post office when I saw who they were from. It was three letters, one addressed to me from Ben, one addressed to me from Jess, and then one from Jerry. I'd been standing in the middle of the living room, with Toby laughing and playing with brightly colored blocks, when I sorted through the mail. I'd barely been able to make it to one of the couches before I completely colapsed, this being the first word I'd recieved from anyone from Midsomer in most of my time in my flat.

I opened Ben's letter first, feeling the most comfortable to read his first. To summarize it, it was basically an apology for our row before I left, how much he loved me, and how much he wished I'd come back home. He mentioned, though, that he knew I wouldn't do such, and wished me me luck and love with my new life. He told me what had been going on since I'd left, and explained in excited detail that he'd proposed marriage to Jess. I couldn't help but smile at this, and called him promply after finishing the letter, which had also contained money, which he said he hoped I would find useful.

Jess's letter was basically the same thing as Ben's, talking about the marriage proposal, what was going on, and how much they missed me. She described that she was excited to finally become and "official" member of the family, and hoped that I would quickly adapt to her being my new mother, a fact which also made me smile.

When I reached Jerry's letter, however, all I could do was stare at it. Hell, it took a lot just for me to _touch _it. Opening it was a different matter entirely. In fact, I didn't even open it at all. I opted to put it in a shoe box, put the shoe box under my bed, and then hide the shoe box behind various other things that lived beneath the bed. I was too content, and too happy to read his letter, whatever it mentioned. I had a new life, a new chance, and a happy baby to take care of. In fact, I couldn't have been happier where I was.

**(Sniffle) That's it peoples! Last chapter! Hopefully it made sense, and didn't seem rushed, but, it was all I could come up with for some reason. (Sigh) Anyway, I have a title for the sequel! It's called "Shadows". Keep an eye out for it, since the first chapter is already written! If you can't find it in the "Misomer Murders" fanfiction archive, you can find it on my profile. By the way, it is rated "M" for the opening scene, so if it is uploaded faster than I thought it would be into the "Misomer Murders" fanfiction archive, you will have to change the ratings search from "T", to "All", or "M" if you just want to get straight to the "M" stories. For old times sake, please review, even though it's the last chapter. Thank you! I appreciate all of you that stuck with me through this story, and I hope that you'll stick with me through the next one! **


End file.
